The Existence from Yesterday

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Will this woman able to find love or remain bitter throughout her life?

Submitted: June 17, 2015

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Submitted: June 17, 2015

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I never believed in love. I never believe that someone would open his heart for me. I thought love will never be real. I thought love is just fantasy until I met this guy—a guy in my dreams.

It was an unusual evening. The nightfall of the town was covered with coldness and heavy raindrops from heaven; fog commenced to wrap up the heat. People swiftly went to shaded spaces where they feel comfortable, stood on their feet while passing the time and waited for the rain to calm down. Though I was a little drunk, I realized walking through the wet sidewalk would be dangerous so I decided to stay outside a café since the rain seemed not to be stopping any minute. People began crowd and pushing became necessary since no one wanted to get wet. I was feeling a little cold so I pushed the glass door of coffee shop. “God is Good Café, huh.” I’ve read the name of the café and entered.

I was wearing a black bonnet covering my ears with both piercings on it. I was using my favorite black top to bottom get up paired by the dark eyeliner on my eyes. I don’t look very attractive and I don’t even know how to take care of myself. I just wear whatever I want. I looked at my shoes and they were almost torn. I smiled and said to myself, “Who cares?”

I made my way straight to the counter. “Do you have some beer here?” I asked.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but we don’t serve liquors.” The waiter answered. I was disappointed but I tried to hide it.

I just ordered a cup of black coffee then tried looked for a seat. I couldn’t find any free seat near the counter but I found one near the side glass of the shop. Beside the empty seat was a man. Though he was sitting, I could just tell he is exceptionally tall. I made my way towards the empty seat then glanced a little to my side. He was also having a coffee. He was wearing eyeglasses and was dressed decently. He looked like he was a professional. He glanced at me and caught me looking at him. His eyes were gorgeous.

He continued looking at me and I started to go feel a little uncomfortable. And even though I was already seated, I asked if I could sit with him. He nod his head in agreement then smiled.

The atmosphere became silent. The only sound heard were the sipping of coffee from mugs, raindrops from outside tapping the window of the shop.

The guy started the conversation. “Isn’t it very cold today? I always stay here every night and enjoy a cup of coffee,” he mentioned.

I said yes and I was about to lit my cigarette when he told me it was not allowed to smoke in the shop.

I was so pissed off and annoyed when he stopped me.

“By the way, I am Peter.” He introduced himself to me and reached his hand on me.

I glared at him and said, “Lisa… just call me Lisa.” I took another sip of my black coffee. “It’s my first time here! I usually go in bars, discos and do billiards but the damn rain…came down! Oh shoot… I really hate it!” I told him.

“Attracted with the name of the shop?” Peter asked.

“God is good?! I don’t think so. He’s not good to me anyway...Everything I have… He’s taking them all away from me…my wants, my needs, my mom… He’s even taking my life! Ever since He’s doing this to me.” I started to break down. My dad blamed me when my mom died. She died from a car accident, when it was my graduation ceremony.

I can’t believe I was able to tell him my personal life. Though, it was our first time to meet. Maybe because it’s easy for me to trust people... but I know in the end… I will be the one who’s at stake.

“There is always purpose of every problem from God. Everything happens for a reason. Who knoes, there might even be a reason why you are here Lisa.” Peter told me.

“Purpose!? Do you mean that God created me just to suffer the pain in this world? If that’s the case then, I hate to be one His creations… I hate my life! I’ve been seeking for love but I couldn’t find it so I don’t believe in love anymore and I don’t believe that God is here for me.” My voice started to be louder. People stared at me and Peter. Peter smiled at them and said “It’s okay. We’re just having some conversation.”

Peter returned his gaze to me. He looked at me directly at my eyes. “Lisa, you are not alone in this world. Just look on the positive side—on the brighter side.”

“Will you just stop talking?” I shouted and stood. I pointed my fingers to him. “Who are you to tell me those kinds of things when all I’ve ever experienced is pain and hatred? Don’t talk to me as if you already know me. You don’t know what I am feeling inside! You don’t know the pain I am suffering!” I turned my back and left him saying those words. I run away from him and cried under the rain.

I was running and while crying; feeling insensitive of my world. I started slowing down then suddenly stopped. I was alone standing under the rain; the raindrops are kept falling from my head. I just wanted to feel love. I looked up the sky. My face was a mess, I just know. My makeup were scattered on my face.

“I guess you don’t have an umbrella.”I heard a familiar speaking to me and when I looked back, I saw an umbrella being offered to me. It was him- Peter. Peter followed me all the way from the café.

“Why did you follow me? I asked him with my teary eyes. “You can’t change me now… This is my life.”

I started to walk again, but numbness flowed and swallowed my body. I broke down and fainted.

“Where I am? Who are you?”

“It’s me Peter, remember? You fainted last night and I decided to bring you home.” Peter explained calmly.

“Where are my cigarettes? I need to smoke!” was the next things I said. I need to smoke cigarette so that I could calm down.

“I threw them away.” Peter said.“You don’t need to smoke, Lisa.”

I started to be pissed by him again and tried to leave his place. I tried to get out of the sofa and opened the door. But he suddenly hugged me. He hugged me so tight. I never felt that kind of hug before. It was so warm…It was so gentle. I wanted to feel more of his hug. Then, I have just realized, I was crying on his shoulders. I was crying so hard.

“Sssh… it’s alright. I know you needed this.” He told me while he was rubbing my back.
I felt so light when I’ve cried all enough… But I still… I still don’t believe in love.
 


© Copyright 2020 Musha Shi. All rights reserved.

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