Cow Bagged

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A quick action and humorous story. Perfect for quick reading and you will get a catch from this story. Thanks for ready.



Submitted: May 06, 2009

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Submitted: May 06, 2009




I drive a lot for work. Before I moved to Vegas, I used to live in Arkansas and had to drive all over the place. To St Louis, to Kansas City, Oklahoma , Minneapolis, Dallas, Louisiana..

Since moving to Vegas, all of my theatres are in Vegas, except 2 that are in Phoenix, Arizona.

This is the story of one of those drives.

I had been talking to a girl named Stephanie on the phone a lot and told her I was on my way to Phoenix to do some work and wanted to meet her for Dinner. Its a 5 hour drive to Phoenix, and before I found the current route I take, I used to drive to Flagstaff and head southand itis a fairly straightdrive at times, but there are many parts that are curvy through the Arizona mountains between , and then some fun little "hills" that entertain you as you drive80 MPH.

I called Stephanie to talk, and because I was getting bored with driving kept talking to her to keep myself awake (I have issues with falling asleep at the wheel). We were talking about little things when I came over one of the "fun" hills when I saw what appeared to be a dead cow lying in the middle of the road. It was mostly in my lane but partially in the right lane as well.

Now.. I have been in quite a few accidents.. I have even hit a semi that ran a stop sign across a highway and slamming into the side of the trailer.. I have been in a pre-tornado rainstorm where all the cars were suddenly stopped on the interstate and what Ithought werecars slowing down was in fact completely stopped cars. I have been in ice accidents, fallen asleep at the wheel a few times, been on a dirt road that suddenly became a T-crossing while I was still going 40, and I have had afew others.I have never gotten tooscared. I grip the steering wheel, remain focused in case I have a chance to swerve, and put my head down and flex my arms before impact.

The cowbag terrified me.

At 75 MPH, hitting a carcass wouldno doubtcause my vehicle to go airborne. To my left was basically adrop down into a canyon. To my right and just behind me was another vehicle who probably couldnt see the cow through my vehicle. Changing lanes wasn't an option because even getting over the driver side would still hit the cow. there was no real shoulder on thewide enough for me to getthrough. I was still on the phone with Steph when I saw the cow and I said really loudly into the phone: "Oh caramel covered apples! there is something on the road". And then I threw the phone down into my lap, hanging up on her, and grabbed the wheel. I said before that in situations like this I have never been scared. this was the first time I did. I actually saw images fly through my head of all the things I have done or never got to do. A real revelation moment. And then I hit the cow.

When in a panic mode, your mind has a tendency totoss all logical reasonings, and go with whatever seems to comfort you the most. When I hit the cow, it exploded into a bunch of garbage. The cow was filled with garbage. That was my favored explanation and I immediately accepted it as true. Garbage flew up and over my truck, on the car behind me, into the canyon justEverywhere.

Apparently, at high speeds , if you take 2 big white bags of garbage, and put them into 2 bigger black bags, and they fall off a truck just enough to tear holes to look like a spotted cow, it oddly looks like a spotted cow.

I drove another minute trying to figure out if I was still alive and why anyone would fill a cow with garbage. My hands released their death grip on the steering wheel, and I made my way over to the right shoulder. I sat for a few to calm down, and I got out of my truck to look at the front of my car.

A bunch of cups, food,paper etc.werestuck all over my grill, and a white and black "skin" was wrapped around. I got out apocket knife and cut it free. I started laughing at the concept of a cow filled with garbage when it dawned on me.. Stephanie.

I jumped back in the truck and found my phone on the floor. I called her back and she was sorta freaked out. After her many questions as to what happened and if I was okay, I finally got her laughing along with me at the idea of the "cowbag".

and No.. I didnt get a "thank god your alive"kissing session (in case you were wondering).

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