Absolutely Insane

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Bad night,
got my emotions out

Submitted: July 09, 2012

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Submitted: July 09, 2012

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Isn't it funny...How when you're sad or just in a bad mood

Everything terrible that has ever happened to you comes to your mind?

Today, it went from my computer not working for my homework,

to how school literally tears me apart,

to missing my childhood.

to remembering my deceased great grandmother

to remembering sad things..

and finally, to my dark place.

 

I call it my dark place, I don't know what else to call it.

And it's stupid, and childish for me to go back to that all the time.

Yes, we broke up. But we did get back together.

But nobody will ever know the pain I felt when I thought I would never have him again.

 

I can't believe I'm still caught on this.

We are together, and happy for over a year and a half now.

But whenever I think back, even for just a single fraction of time,

to when he wasn't mine,

My heart breaks all over again

Every feeling, every emotion, every thought

Floods back in an instant

 

Is it bad, that I still do that?

We're in a wonderful, healthy relationship.

And I love him with all my heart <3

But theres always that little doubt in the back of my head

That he'll change his mind once again.

 

I trust him when he says I'll always be his only

I believe him when he says he'll love me forever

But people change their minds...

and he's changed his in the past.

So this is why I'm terrified he'll change it again.

 

We've been through a lot of bad things in our relationship, things that never should have happened.

And it made our relationship stronger,

but did it make me weaker?

 

I drive myself crazy when I think, "What if"

and I know i really shouldn't

People make mistakes

People hurt other people

But people learn from these mistakes

and hopefully don't repeat them.

 

A kiss, is just a kiss

A breakup, can always be fixed

A broken heart, was put back together with love, trust, and faith,

but my mind, still goes absolutely insane.

 


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