Truth About Myself

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
The Truth About Myself . . .

Submitted: March 10, 2011

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Submitted: March 10, 2011

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Regret. It’s something everyone experiences at some point in their lives. Wondering why you did something the way you did. Asking why you didn’t say something else, or why you didn’t say anything at all. Pining over the things you deemed to be mistakes, and how you could have acted so that they would have gone differently. Wishing you had spent your time differently. Or perhaps even wishing you hadn’t, deeming that it was a waste of your oh-so-precious time. You believe that your life would be better if such a thing had not (or had) occurred to you. That by experiencing such a thing (or not) made you less of a person.


I have heard this type of question quite a few times.

"If you could talk to yourself in the past, what would you say?"
"If you could give one piece of advice to yourself in your past, what would it be?"
"If you could change one thing that happened to you in your life, what would you change?"

If I was to at this moment, somehow, in some way, appear before my past self, say, four years ago, I know exactly what I would say.
I would say nothing. Well, that may not be entirely true. For I, like almost everyone, would be so tempted to tell myself things such as,

"That guy that you’ll meet in your second year of College? Yeah, he'll break your heart. Stay away from him" Or,
"When you apply to that call center agency you will pass, don’t worry about how you’re interview will go. It’ll be ok."
" The guy that has the same name of that guy who broke your heart will break your heart again. Avoid him." - But I wouldn’t.

I would not warn myself of future failures, or problems that I would encounter. I would not tell myself to be wary of those things that would cause me pain.
Why? Because that would be saying that I am not happy with who I am today. We, as individuals, have our tendencies to act and feel in the way we do because of who we are innately; what our genetics defines us to be. But I believe that even more importantly than that, we are the sum of our experiences. What we have lived in life, defines who we are. So by me saying that I wish something in my past had gone differently, that I had or had not done or said that one thing, I would be outright saying that I was not happy with who I am and what i am today. That I wish I was a different person.
And you know what? I do not.

I am happy with who I am. And I believe everyone should feel that way about themselves. Sure, we all have those things that we hate about ourselves, or affinities that we wish we did not have. It’s natural. But really think about it. Would you really be happy if you were not in fact shy like you are? Would you like the way your life would go if you were less impulsive? Or if you weren’t so cautious when you met new people? Well where did these attributes come from? If you hadn’t had that boyfriend that broke your heart, you would not be as cautious as you are now. You would meet another guy, and it just may happen all over again. Or maybe it wouldn’t. But can you tell me that that life, the one that you may have had if that hadn’t happened, can you tell me that it would be better than the one you have now?

There is no way to predict how your life would go if something in your past was changed. No way to know if it would be for the better or for the worse. How do you know that in ten years from now, you won’t accomplish something great, using the experience you gained from what happened to you in the past?

Everything you do as a person, everything you experience as a person, affects you, and how you deal with the future. Every good decision you made, every mistake you made, everything that happens, will help you experience new things. That mistake I made two years ago? That gave me the experience to know that I should be wary of such circumstances if they should arise again. Now I am able to deftly avoid something that I would have considered a much greater mistake.

Everything that happened to me, every experience I gained, made me a different person from who I were. Experience new things as often as I can, and whether they are good or bad, they will make me a better person.

Don’t worry about the past and what you could have done. Keep it in mind, and learn from it. Something happen that you regret? Now you know what to do in the future. Something happen that made you happy? Now you know what to aim for in the future. Everyday you have the possibility to see, hear, and try new things. Some you may deem to be bad, and some may change your life forever in ways you see as good. But all in fact will change you. Every experience you encounter will make you a greater person. So do not wish for those pieces of you to be taken away. They make you who you are today.

So what would I say if I was to meet the ME from two years ago? If I was to not be silent, how would that conversation go?

"Live life Dianne." I would say. "You will be experiencing things that you will both enjoy, and detest. Things that will make you happy, and things that will make you feel like you simply cannot go on. I could tell you to avoid some things, to learn some things, and to enjoy some other things more fully. But I won’t. Because I feel confident in who we’ve become; who you will become. And I feel just as confidant in who we will both eventually become."
So Enjo and continue to love and be love. "And never regret what you've done, and who you have become." ?


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