We cannot be LOVERS because we are FRIENDS.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A Letter for my Bestfriend

Submitted: March 15, 2011

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Submitted: March 15, 2011

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Why do I always have to cry for something I know I can no longer hold on to? This is the question that boggles my mind. I always feel like crying whenever I get the chance to remember the moments of losing the person i used to spend moments with.

I know I just have to accept the sad truth that things will never go back to normal again, but it hurts.(really hurts).. )= It's just so hard to let go of something that was such a big part of my life. Some people say I should simply value the time I'm spending apart from him so I can discover myself but this is just too painful for me. Now I ask myself, HOW COULD I EVER HURT HIM THAT MUCH?

It was back on my freshman year in college when I first met him. I remember those moments when he treated me as his younger sister. He used to call me HAKOO and I used to call him SAMOO. I used to go to his place and have lunch with him and with his family (Aunt Tel and the kids). He always look after me, it doesn't matter how hard it was for him to stay at the hospital every time I am being confined. He buy me foods and things that I want. He always give me hugs and kisses every time I am happy or sad. He's always been that person who'll always say I CAN DO IT. He's the one who always encourages me to take masses every sunday.I cant think of any adversity that he wasn't there beside me.(thank you so much)

His girlfriends have always been so jealous of me because of the love and attention he's been giving me. They would always let him choose between me and them and he would always chose me. We bonded and it eventually led to a sense of belonging. We grew closer but despite all expectations that we'd be better friends,we eventually got into something that I wish never happened.

He fell in love with me and i wish i felt the same..)= I didn't know that behind everything there's a love hiding inside of him for so long. I entertained that love even if I knew I never had any feelings other than loving him as my best friend and my brother. He gave me everything, the love, the care, the understanding but all I did was to say i feel the same.(that's the most stupid thing i've ever did.) I love him, I never doubt that,but its just not enough for us to be LOVERS. God knows, if I only have the heart to tell him, I would. I was hoping that love will be develop, but it never happened. (which I regret a lot)

I've accepted my mistakes and have tried to apologize but it's too tough to ignore his feelings. I want to fix things between us, I wanna see him, I wanna hug him like I used to do before but he's hurting when it comes to us. (when it comes to me) It cost me countless tears knowing I was the one who caused him that kind of pain.How could I ever let him feel that????( and why?)

I once told myself that I am being silly and that I probably don't deserve to blame myself for it but it's too hard to pretend that I am not affected.(coz i knew i've hurt him a lot)

They say if you truly love and treasure a friend it doesn't matter how much he/she failed you. The important thing is that you still trust and accept that someone as a friend no matter what. The trust and acceptance he had for me is no longer there. I really can't blame him,cuz i've been so unfair for him for so long.

Even if we don't get to see each other anymore, even if we don't text each other any longer I still love him as a friend, as a brother and still as my best friend. And I'll always treasure our memories together, forever.

I know when we leave behind the conflict, we'll both be alright in the end.( If only we cud do it). Each of us have our own lives to lead. I respect his decisions and think that it might be good for us to live our own life and welcome new acquaintances.

I'll always be thankful that our path crossed. I know I can no longer look for another person exactly like him, and I know it's unlikely for him to return to me after all. But I'm still hoping, even if it takes FOREVER.

It's always difficult when a friend drifts apart from you. It's even more painful when it happens to be yer BEST FRIEND..But it's worse when that happened because of YOU. )=

P.S

Wherever you are right now, whatever you do I'll always be here for you.

You'll always be my Samoo, my bestfriend..

I miss you Moo.


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