Studying The Self

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
Study oneself by observing yur life. Then reflect.

Submitted: January 17, 2014

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Submitted: January 17, 2014



Life it seems, is forever filled with struggles and battles. Yur very own might not be as epic as the stuffs of legends; maybe as little as just internal conflict, but it is still an ongoing struggle to find out what yu want to do most, and even after deciding, fighting yur concience if that action is undesirable. Needless to say, when yu fight, yu will rarely go unscathe. Take an example, a non physical violence: Verbal Abuse. Hurtful words that are thrown at such force that they dig deep into yur mental armour, eating holes into yur mind where it will bury itself like worms. Pretty lethal weapon don't yu think? The worst part about Verbal Abuse is that is an almost uncontrollable gun. Yu might say one thing while being under a dose of toxic anger, then realise yu did'nt really mean it. At that very moment all words yu spit out have such lethality that it will scratch even the most hardened of minds. No one goes unpunished from this kind of conflict either, yu might lose a good friend or even a loved one. They will feel so hurt and torn by those words yu shot out of yur weapon, they might never want to look at yu again. They might cut themselves from yur side, ignoring yu, resenting yur abuse. No matter how strong one is, losing a friend will definately make a lasting mark in their heart, especially if they lost them through an unwarrented action or string of insults. Apologizing is one thing, they might forgive, but they will forever be on their guard around yu, not knowing when yu might hurt them again.

  Sometimes, yu might feel heartache. The one yu truly desire to be with never looks at yu. Being friendzoned. Ouch. Such feelings are the mind trying to cope with loss. I really do believe, that if yur feelings true, yu might get yur loved ones the happy ending where both of yu can enjoy. The world however is designed to dstroy such naive thoughts. I too believed that I could construct a happy ending for my love, but then it would appear time and time again that yu have a few screws short and the whole orchestration will crumble to the ground. I feel much sadness, pain, and anguish when a friend or myself find themselves lost: after giving up everything to yur beloved; they turn away for someone else. Might the other guy be better than me? Might he be beter looking? Might he have something I lack severely? Yu will then undergo some sort of withdrawal, like a snail who was almost stepped on, or maybe a lion after a fierce battle, fleeing back to it's den to lick it's wounds clean. Now is the time where yur true supporters will appear. like little fireflies, they will prod at yu, question yu, "Hey bro, yu alright man?" , "Dude yu feel down lately, anything wrong" These people are the ones who notice yu enough that they can tell in just a snap that yur feeling down. Most people will tell yu that these are the people yu should embrace forever, and I do not disagree, but sometimes embracing care and concern right after such an emotional hurt might end up making yu feel better of yurself, then throwing yu back into the battlefield of love: TO BE HURT AGAIN. Stop right there and think a little. Now see, are yu of age where a successful relationship will bring yu much fortune; or complete yur life as most would put it? Be the answer yes or no, It is showing how hard yu will be fighting for yur love. If yu pick no then pack up, and focus on yur carreer. If yes, then make plans for yur endeavor once more, for the strong and persistant have the whole world for the picking.

I talked about lions somewhere up there. Lion are fascinating creatures, in which they live in a pride and this isn't very much different from our family units in real life. Sometimes when yu lick yur own wounds, yu think yur tough. Truth is deep down inside yu want yur significant other care for yur wounds , or at least sit by while yu do it. Now then why don't we open that circle a little bigger, maybe yur sister or brother? Maybe slowly yu might want to add yur grandparents too. I find elderly people easy to talk to. They never seem to jab at yur endeavors. I myself do not talk to my parents about my own troubles and I bottle them up inside for long periods of time before exploding. I broken down couple of times, due to stress, bullying, and unfair treatment. It WILL NOT FEEL GOOD. Yu might feel relief after bursting out, but the part after is more painful in my opinion. Yu don't want people to comfort yu; just want to sit by yurself for abit, THEN SUDDENLY THE WHOLE WORLD CARES. If yu have this before then we are on the same page. My solution to this is self encouragement. How do we do this? We start by telling ourself we are good at soemthing. For me I'm good at drawing and I will take some paper and draw on it and then admire my work and tell myself hey cool i'm good at this (:3) Then next step is to try out other things like maybe, folding paper? Or maybe playing a few rounds of yur favourite video game. Yu will feel good and have the strength to go on. I am not suggesting THIS METHOD BUT: I keep an imaginary friend. I am comforted by the dialouge I have with myself and I might be abit coo coo. But it is my way to keep my mentality in check. 

This is not advice I am sharing, this is my experience and solutions I am putting here. Save yur critisism and open yur minds a little. Yu might never know, my little solutions could very well help yu too. Then when yu become a happy person, somewhere in yur heart, yu will rejoice. And boy will yu feel true happiness.

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