Tell me why daddy,,,,

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This something I wrote about my dad, which I would love to ask him.. even though I never will.

Submitted: June 07, 2012

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Submitted: June 07, 2012

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Daddy,

 

why don't you love me daddy? don't tell me you do.. I know you don't.Tell me why you call me those name daddy? Am I really useless? Am I really unwanted? They hurt me daddy,they break my little heart. Daddy please stop pushing me away, I just want you to care.. It hurts that you don't :( Stop drinking daddy, It's scaring me.. Please stop screaming, my body is already full of fear, can't you see by my face expressions? Daddy why am I invisible to youu.. I have been self harming myself since I was 12 daddy, why can't you tke my depression seriously? There isn't one day that goes by, where my tears aren't hitting my bedroom floor.. You yell at me for crying daddy why? It's like you are angry that I have emotions..I am real did you know that? I am here, I am your daughter daddy. Remember when you hit me dad?  Please,tell me why I deserved that.. Remember the day you told me to go and committ suicide? Why didn't I just do it, would it of made you happy daddy? I just want you happy..

 

Why did you always hit mummy? I was only little daddy, and full of fear of my own father.. Why did those men take you away? For days I stared out the window waiting for you to come back.. I missed you daddy.. Why was all this happening? I was only little, my life was all confusing at the age of 4. Then you came back, and to be honest.. I didn't want to let you back in my life.. But I had no choice daddy, mummy walked out at that time... still 10 years later you left me with these memories.. did you think I would forget?  The day you watched my blood just hit the floor.. remember that day daddy? you just stood there and stared while I screamed for help... but you didn't help me.. why :(

 

The day I got beaten up, you yelled at me because I couldn't fight back.. Daddy why are you breaking my little heart.. when I tell you I want to kill myself dad, you tell me I'm messed up, you tell me you will send me away where all the other people like me are.. I'm 14 now dad, why can't  you just at least pretend to care.. My high school years.. yeah, my grades are already low as anything, and you wanna know why? BECAUSE OF YOU! you wanna know why I hit you? THAT WAS ALL MY ANGER LET OUT FROM BUILDING UP OVER THE YEARS. you wanna know why I ran away that day? BECAUSE YOU TREAT ME LIKE I'M NOTHING. and I thought that would just make you realise I'm real! I have feelings! but no daddy, you still don't care...

 

 

You wait till the day you lose me.. will you care then daddy? Will then I be real to you.. It's all up to youuu. Just tell me daddy, why don't you care..


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