My cat BOO BOO became physically handicapped after I threw him out an airplane on his birthday without a parachute , do not judge me, I was so exited that I forgot about the parachute. You might think why would you even throw a cat out of an airplane? Well, I was watching 16 and pregnant on MTV and thinking about what I can do for my cat's birthday. Then I looked at my cat and the idea about an airplane came to mind. I called my cat up and said ”Hey BOO BOO, do you wanna jump out of an airplane ?” He did not say anything back, because cats do not talk, I mean I wish he did, but animals don’t talk. Even though he did not say anything back, I felt like it would be a cool experience for him. Who knew that everything was going to turn out like this. I can remember it like it happened yesterday me and my cat standing in an airplane nervous and I hear someone yell ”What the fuck, is that a cat? “I yell back“Yes it is' He screams “Oh my God its so big” I yell back, “That’s what she said” Next thing I remembered the doors opened, I scream -”Holy shit, and threw my cat out of the airplane” After I realized I threw him out without the parachute, I told Sanchez to land the airplane so I could find my cat. When we landed there was already an ambulance taking him off to the hospital. This female nurse came up to me and said “ Your cat is in a awful condition he broke 5 ribs all of his legs lost hair lost all of his teeth and broke his nail”. I said, “What the fuck man I gotta get high” She said ”Oh, Oh, you wanna get high? Don’t worry I got a blunt. How about we climb up on an apple tree and get stoned”. I dont know now, but that idea sounded amazing back then...
My cat BOO BOO was in the hospital for a year. Anytime I went to visit him I could have read on his face, “I do not want to see you'. After a year, I brought him home. He became depressed, started drinking and turned into a complete alcoholic, went hard on heavy drugs like cocaine crystal meth etc It was hard to watch him while every other cat was running around playing cat games my cat was handicapped and a hardcore junky. For some reason I don’t know why, but I felt like it was my fault that he was in that condition. Christmas was coming and I always believed in a Christmas miracle,so I decided to write Santa so he could help my cat walk again. Christmas night was coming so I went to bed and when I woke up in the morning my cat was still in a wheel chair. So I got upset and decided to go back to my room. When I started walking back I heard , “Hey you ugly ass mother fucker” I thought that was my grandmother, because she always curses me out. But when I turned my head, there was only my cat
I said, “Excuse me”
Cat said, “Excuse You double head zebra looking bitch.”
I said “whats wrong with you stop cursing at me”
Cat said “Oh, Oh ,you want me tell you thank you for throwing me from an airplane? who the hell throws a cat from an airplane anyways? do I look like a fuckin Skydiver? Im a cat man just a cat.”
I said “Im sorry Boo Boo”
he said “Dont you ever call me that name again Im sick of that stupid ass name. Out of all names you go an call me BOO BOO? Really?”
I said, “Come on man”
Cat said, “Oh by the way you had no friends and you were bullied everyday because you are so fat that if you wore in a math class kids could of use your fat rolls to count up to twenty five yeah you heard me twenty five!
I said, “Im not talking to you anymore you hurt my feelings”
Cat said, “Whatever softy”
For me it was always hard to talk about my childhood or my past because they were not good memories for me. My grandmather called me a fat fuck, kids picked on me because I had a big pimple I mean it was so huge that I could smack somebody with that pimple. My neighbors hated me too because I was a lunatic, I would of wake up during the night time and poop on everybody’s yard I mean poop heavy like an elephant. So that’s why I got really mad at my cat. After our conversation was over I went up to my room and started crying like a bitch. Then I heard some noise, it was my cat BOOBOO he came in and said,
“Oh com on stop crying like a bitch” Look at me Im not crying. I broke 5 ribs, lost hair ,lost all of my teeth, and broke my nail” While he was saying that he started crying too and I hugged him and we both started crying together. After 10 hours we stopped crying and I decided to help my cat out.
I said “look man we gotta do something about you you cant just give up on your life like that”
BOOBOO said “Yes please help me”
So he sighed up for AA meatings. I bought him dentures to solve his tooth problem I bought a wig to solve his hair problem, I took him to the mall and Vietnamese female Chan Chan took care of his broken nail, and we bought some ribs on ebay. The only problem left sasthat he still couldn’t walk. I tried everything; operations, special pills, I pushed him down the hill, threw him in water, but nothing was working. Then I bought P90X and made him watch it. Somehow after two weeks he started walking. So everything got fixed and everything seemed like was getting better, but the unexpected happened. We went on vacation to a K-MART for the day. Everything was going pretty good we were walking around looking at things then I saw my grandmother and hid right away. Because anytime she sees me, It doesn’t matter where, she just beats me up. I did not feel like getting embarrassed so I hid behind the tacos. My cat BOOBOO kept walking and he ended up in the milk section. That’s when the cat came out of him, he got the milk and started drinking it next thing he knew a woman with a hitler mustache grabs him in the throat and starts choking him down.When I found him, he was dead I mean completely dead like super death. I cryed, because he was the only friend I had, only one who always supported me. It was hard to loose a cat friend , I was upset for 2 days and 24 minutes and I went out a bought a new cat.
© Copyright 2016 NakedPenguin. All rights reserved.