i call them my battle scars

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
i felt like i should explain my cutting

Submitted: June 15, 2012

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Submitted: June 15, 2012

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I have many scars. On my stomach, my arms, my elbows, my knees, even my face. some, i don't know where they came from; like the one on my shoulder, it looks like a dog scratch but I'm not sure. Others, i know some details, like the one on my left pinky. i was walking school in the fourth grade, and i saw some of my friends up ahead of me, so i screamed for them. they didn't hear me so I started running to catch up with them. as i was running i stepped on an ice patch that i didn't see, i slipped and feel right through it breaking the ice with my hand, thus the scar on my pinky.

i have few scars that i remember ever detail. like the self inflicted ones on my leg. it was February sixth, 2008. i had just started getting homeschooled and i was alone and unhappy. i had nobody to talk to which never happened to me. i was wearing blue basketball shorts and a blue tank top. my nails were painted black,as well as my toes.it was exactly 10:00 am. my sister was at school and my parents were at work. it was the very first time i actually cut. i had cut before but they didn't scar.

i got the razor from my dads garage. it was brand new and cold. as soon as it touched my skin i felt good. when i actually saw the blood i was ecstatic. i kept cutting. 159 individual cuts later i put the razor down. i had "wish", Bobby's initials, "BYE" and a few crosses. i was happy that i had gotten the pain to go away but scared because i knew these cuts would scar. it was to late, nothing i could do about it now.

i have many scars, but over the years i have come to see them as proof. proof that i have hurt and lived. they are my battle scars.

-NRM


© Copyright 2017 Nancy Murphy McCune. All rights reserved.

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