Life in Non Detail

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Life bruh

Submitted: December 23, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 23, 2013



Disclaimer my life is not the saddens nor the most fucked up, and shit it may not be interesting
but every now and then i need time to reflect on it and this is a easy way for me to do it
Please dont think anymore or less of me after reading it, and please tell me when you finish PUNPUN:
Also bottom half is cheery and about my life besides the sad stuff
Meaning Hobbies and like and shit like that :D

Well of course for my life story i wont go through my younger years but i will give you some back story
I was born in a city Called Austin in the state of Texas
My mother that i never got to know was Named stacy
And the father that i never got to know i never invested time to learn his name
You see i was nothing more than a accident after a wild party
So the logical course of action that wasnt abortion was adoption
Now dont get me wrong i love my family with all my heart
But deep down thats a wound thats very hard to heel for many reasons that we may touch on down the line

So Lets start with a quick synopsis of my first 9 years of life.
I lived in a predominately white neighborhood and i my self am white
I went to school filled with mostly white people
And nothing was really wrong for my first 4 years in school (Meaning grade 1-4 preschool dont count)
In 4th grade i started playing sports to lose weight and have something to do in my free time
I was and still am over weight back then it was pretty bad but recently its been a lot better but we'll get to that
Around 5th grade people started acting out, including myself, and dont get it wrong i wasnt some defenseless child
But i was bullied for being overweight, and i bullied other people for other things it was a cycle of hate kinda
I was mad at being hurt so i hurt some one else and thats just how it was.
But eventually that all stooped.
I got into a fight with the main bully that i had
He was small and fast and would run up to me make fun of me, hit me, and run away
And finally one day he was off his A game and i was able to grab ahold of his shirt
I put him in a head lock and chocked him whilst simultaneously punching his right eye and nose
Now as you may suspect this didnt go over well with my school and i was sent to a 5 day punishment school
At first i was scared shitless to be honest
This school was filled with alot more minority's
You could even say i was the minority and that was weird for me
I was bullied here but not quite as bad
I was mainly called green go
But thats that for my 5th grade year
I was punished for standing up for myself and he received nothing but that beating

In 6th grade the bullying was allmost obsolete
Every one remembered what had happened to the kid before and i think that made them hesitant
But that was okay with me, i had friends from before and friends from after and it was all going good
And up to this point in my life i had never once thought about doing any form of drugs and or drinking
But this of course all changed when a long time friend that lived up the street asked me if i would drink with him
And of course trying not to be a supposed "pussy" i said yes i would indeed
But what i hadnt ever planned on was 1. That he would actually bring alcohol to school
And 2. that i would get snitched on by some one.
Now as you may think Wow that must have fucking sucked
Having alcohol on a school campus whilst underage
And i would have to tell you yes indeed it fucking sucked
My mom got called she shit a brick
My dad got called he just about flipped shit
Cops where called to intimidate us
We got the whole 9.5 yards
And thus after all the bullshit with my parent's the grounding and the one actual beating from my father i get sent back to the punishment school
But this times its for a 6 week stay.
During this 6 weeks i fall incredible far behind the punishment school was pretty far behind the studys from my "home school"
After i finish'd the 6 weeks i was sent back to my school not thinking that many people would know what happened
But i was very wrong, it seemd that every one knew and that was not what i wanted
I was from that moment on marked a bad seed by my teachers and peers
I was called a drinker a alcoholic and a failure
And these days i would just laugh at it all but back then that shit hurt man.
So i just rode out the rest of the year sleeping in class seeing how i was steps behind in the teachings
And on some mystical beings will i passed that year
Now during these hard times at school i still had the homies from the neighborhood
See i was a transfer student
Meaning i was supposed to go to the school most near to my house but my family paid for me to go to a different one
So my neighborhood kids had no idea what was happing nor do i think they would care

Starting out my 7th grade year i was rather quite during the morning i would just chill outside my school on a bench alone
But it didnt really bug me cause my hood kids would allways be down and i knew that
Around this time they where going to a more ghetto highschool so they learned about weed a drinking pretty quick
And at this point i feeling pretty manly so i was down trying to smoke weed
that started out slow we did it the first time and of course i didnt do it right, i barley inhaled
But that didnt matter i felt like a "bad boy"
I smoked bud and that was a first for the people at my school or so i thought
We continued smoking in my hood for a few weeks on the daily and i got it down
It was glorious i didnt know what i was doing but it was dope as fuck
And this is where things turned up for my social life but turned down for my actual life
One day i guess i rolled up in class smelling like bud because of my jacket
I got notice by a kid i had rarely talked to his name was dalton
And he asked me if i had smoked bud
Not gunna lie i was kinda scared that he knew i didnt know if he was gunna snitch or what
But i told him anyways and he said that he had allways wanted tor try it
He talked about how his brother did it every now and then but would never let him try it
So i told him id give him a hook up one day before school
So thats exactly what happened i brought a g to school found him and we walked of campus to a dollar general
Bought a lighter and a 50cent can of coke
We drank the soda and i told him to poke a tight pack of holes in the can whilst i broke up the bud
he was confused at first but in the end he understood it was a ghetto pipe
We even add a big ass whole on the side for a carb
And we smoked, he smoked cigs so he kinda knew how to smoke i didnt have to teach him to much
And we got high, it was prob some regi ass shit but fuck it was still early in the career
And from then dalton became that one kid that was a legit fucking ride or die and still is to this dman day
But anyways he introduced me to his homies and they became my homies and thats how it was
Now me and him where easily the 2 tallest and thicker kids in junior high so of course no one really wanted to fuck with us
We where honestly the kid i had hated in 5th grade we where straight bullies and to this day i regret it but thats neither here nor there
So we cruised thru Jr. High pretty easy, getting high on the weekends drinking every now and then
But while that part of my life was great the other half was detering
i was failing many classes as well as my home life was becoming harder
I was acting out think i was a hard ass
I was consistently bulling my mom making fun of here and shit like that and i hated my self for it but there was nothing else to do
That shit fucked up my home relations for years
But thru it all i had somehow made it thru Jr. High without getting held back

Now this is the part of my life where my home life allmost die's and shit gets a lot harder for me

The start of 9th grade i was still kickin it with dalton and smoking every morning by now he had a dealer or he would steal his bro.
At lunches we where allowed of campus and i was given 6 dollars every day cause i was a sly talker to my dad
And every fucking school lunch was a blunt of korn and a rillo
So needless to say my school life was ending quickly
High day in and out
And i loved it every damn second,
The first 6 weeks we stuck with bud didnt even think about exploring that much
But then we heard that some of the seniors where getting fucked up off of shit from the walgreens
We did some research and found out that you could drink a 7 ounce bottle of delsyuim caught syrup and get fucked
Shit was trippy mane
So every few morning we would walk in there take some out there boxes and dip get fucked and skip school
By now my 1 ride or die turned to 5 it was Aaron, Dalton, Mark, David and myself
Allways down for what ever and that was it
We started moving up the chain
Started poppin Xanax, Dones, Ectasy,
Moved to Acid and shrooms,
And by now we where feeling invincible the end of 9th grade year had come and surprise surprise we all failed
We where feeling down and wanted to get fucked off a upper
And some where along the line meth was mentioned as a feasible idea
Now during this 9th grade year i stopped going home every night
I went back to punishment school for 6 weeks for getting caught with bud
And my parent where absolute at there wits end with my bum ass
They where still kinda clueless about the drug scene the bud was a one time thing they thought
They thought i was just acting out and they where done feeding the fire
So we ended up tryin meth the first time on July 12 2012
And thats when i went of the deep end
I binged for a week and had no idea what withdrawal was
I finally come home and start coming down it was the worst feeling i had up to that point
I was depressed i was contemplating my life
Thinking about ways to make it better, or maybe just ending it
So many hours passed with me like that if i was clean i was thinkin how i could get money to get fucked with
Whilst thinking about that i was thinking about why i needed it
Why was i a fuck up, how had it all come to this
Was i destined to be like that or was it my own horrible decisions
this went on the whole summer untill i finally had my last run with meth
I bunged for a 9days non stop and O.D'd
Ended up in the hospital stomach pumped and such
Barley any medicine for the come down. they had to tie me to the bed
And thats when i was told what was finna happen
After i was detoxed i was taken to rehabilitation
I refused that i had a problem it was just a phase
I wasnt depressed i told them, ive never been sad i told my self
There was nothing wrong with me
Man oh man that was pretty funny shit i was told by the workers there
But there was a day that i finally broke down i was done living some bullshit lie
I wasnt some kid that had no feeling that did drugs just cause he could
I was sad, hurt, depressed, and confused
I was sad because of all the fucked up things i had done to people i had once cared deeply fore
Depressed and hurt because i felt like a failure thoughts of suicide came all to often and i was done with it
I was confused on many things, some times i wondered why my parent would deal with all this bull shit
And then i started wondering why my Biological parents didnt even give me a chance to live with them
To some that would be obvious but to me it wasnt
They kept 3 other kids and got rid of me and only me
The fuck is that shit
So we went thru months of inpatient treatment along with family consoling
I was put on anti depressants as well as anti anxiety meds
By now my second year of high school was almost at winter break
So i was sent to a half way house to learn to be a little more independent
And once i got out my life ended up being a lot better
i dropped out of high school and got a G.E.D
The day after i got my ged i started putting in applications
And here i am now 18 almost 19 Started smoking bud and shit again not to long ago
But this time i feel as tho i am a little wiser, i know my limits and i now longer feel peer pressure

But thats all my life changing parts of my story so far.
If you want to continue reading this next part will be about how my hobbies have evolved and what i plan to do in the future

Lets start with gaming
This was my first and longest running hobby
I started on a sega genisis
Moved to a N64 where i found one of my top 5 games of all times
and that game was Paper Mario
I then upgraded to a ps2
And let me just fan boy like every playstaion kid
From there i chose to get a gamecube over a xbox for some really dumb reason cause there wasnt that many coool things for gamecube
Then i went to a Xbox 360 and that where i really started gaming alot
I got live one year after first getting my xbox
I started playing halo and cod (OMG what a casual random scrub right?)
But then i started becoming decent at cod (NO WAY CAUSE ITS SO HARD)
After i became better than average i started pursuing something more in that
I Became i guess a competitive gamer for cod for a few years.
won some online bullshit here and there after i got out of rehab
i mean shit not doing drugs left me with a bunch of fucking time
One i got burned out on CoD i found out about pc gaming and thats wehre i be at now
I play alot of league even tho i suck, and that half way how i came to find you the person reading this
See i found rawb on some funny ass league rap and followed him on twitter than saw him tweet a funny convo with you thus i folo'd you.

Now we shall go to music i guess
Well lets just say im from the south and from a white family
So i listnd to alot of cournty when i was raised untill the age of like 8
Started listing to old school rock like Metallica and such
Moved into dethmetal by the first half of 9th grade year
I listend to a lot of Job For a Cowboy
That shit was raw at the time
2nd half i started listing to main stream rap
Moved into underground
then eventually came to the pinnacle and the point that im at now
Which is That houstin rap, swang and bang shit
I mean shit i gotta stay real to my state right?
Favorite rappers right meow Trae the Truth, Z-Ro, Don Trip and Starlito from outta state

Anime and shit like dat
So of course it started as a kid watching DBZ and YuYuHakuso
This died down till freshman year while i was smokin alot i would watch it at home
Started watching the main stream 3, One Piece, Naruto, Bleach,
Ended up finishing them after rehab and i had alot of free time as i said before
So i started looking deeper into anime and found a lot of bomb shit
Ima put like a 30 anime list that i love and stoof
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood(ONLY NOT THAT OTHER BULL SHIT) Bleach, Naruto, One Piece
Future Diary, Toriko, Hunter x Hunter, Toradora(Im not proud of this as a man but cant resist)
Deadman Wonderland, Kurkro no Basket, Code Geass, Hajime no Ippo, YuYu Hakasho, Attack on Titan,
Arpeggio of Blue Steel, Air Gear, Darker than black, Uhhh its getting late and im drawing blanks
but thats kinda close to 30 right??????

Manga i just really started reading but i read fucking PUNPUN and re-thought my life all over again
And i guess thats really why i wanted to write this
Even tho it was just kinda a over view to my life it help'd some
I mean if i where to go into detail of my 9th grade year only it would be about 5 times longer than all this all ready
Maybe one day ill go back and write all that out, but alot of that is still touchy
But ya if you read all of this I'm more than thankful, i mean lets get real
Im just some random person from the internet that happened to read the same manga as you
And only exchanged a few messages about it
But regardless thanks for yo time and such and give me some feed back?!?!?!?


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