Attacks within and without

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

A poem I made when I was going through a rough patch in living on my own and not having many people to turn to for help, about angry and desperate feelings inside, and the fear of judgment from others.

Anger, hatred, the world  against you

Walls closing in, feeling so small even the ants tower above me

Wondering when I'm going to be the next to be squashed

The volcano in my stomach, bubbling, fiery

The dynamite I could not spit, imploding,

Destroying myself slowly from within

My self fighting against myself

Wanting to just be free, to not be here anymore

To be anyone but me as I reflect back on all my wrongs

The slightest twitch and I'll be under attack

All will turn to me and fire their pains and words

Any movement into the light, and all will see me as I am, in my entirety

So I slink into the shadows.

I sit in the dark corner holding my knees

Hoping someone will show, someone will call

Someone will look and say, "Where'd he go?"

But when they do I just hold tighter, pull myself further away

I don't want anyone to see

I just want to be alone, I don't want to care, I want it all to go away

I don't want to do anything. Just let me fade away from time and memories

And disappear completely into the nothingness

I don't want your care and concern

At first you may try to raise me onto your shoulders

But I know you'll just throw me off and move onto the next better thing when you tire of me

Leaving me on the bottom of the basement stairs, staring at a speck of unreachable light that slowly fades into black

And I know that it's the end

I was left behind by everyone and I'm all alone

Never to be heard from or seen again

Because no one could see the hurt buried behind the smile

The "PLEASE HELP ME! I'm dying inside." behind the "Oh, I'm fine."

Tears splash down my eyes and I wonder what is to become of me, alone and forgotten.







Submitted: December 03, 2012

© Copyright 2021 naruto17. All rights reserved.

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