My Bitter Breakup with Facebook.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
When a man decides he needs to breakup with a social networking site.

Submitted: September 04, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 04, 2010



I had a talk with facebook over my decision to delete. here's our conversation:

Facebook: I miss you. Can't we still be friends.
Nate: No.

Facebook: I want to have your babies...
Nate: Really? Cyborgs are pretty cool, but still no.

Facebook: Why?
Nate: Look, it's me. It's not you. You'll find other people to enslave.

Facebook: You can't leave!! I'm facebook!
People will judge you. You'll be an outcast!
Nate: I know. Somehow, someway I'll be a productive member of society.

Facebook: You shall not pass!!
Nate: Isn't that from Lord of the Rings?

Facebook: haha, you got me. did you know that brad and jolie might break up?
You can read about it here.
Nate: No!!!

Facebook: Don't go! I don't know what your favor color is...
Nate: it's blue.

Facebook: I miss you.
Nate: Stop that!!

Facebook: Love me!!
Nate: I know this is tough. You're looking for a commitment and I'm
just not ready to settle down with a social networking site just yet.

3 days later....

Facebook: So how are you doing? Ready to give in.
Nate: Never!!

Facebook: Come to the dark side.
Nate: Never!!

Facebook: Why do you fight us. We will assimilate you into the collective.
Nate: I perfer not to be assimilate if at all possible.

Facebook: We have cookies...
Nate: No....wait, you do? What kind?, must stay strong.

Facebook: we've been talking to wikipedia about you. don't make us destroy you....

7 days later...

Facebook: So it comes down to this...prepare yourself for battle.
Choose your favorite Mortal Combat character.

Nate: Do we get to wear war paint?
Facebook: Yes.

Facebook: I chooses scorpion
Nate: I choose sub-zero

Nate: ice blast, ice blast...ground slide
Facebook: spear, air throw, air throw...

Nate: (is wounded) ice blast, ground slide, ground ice
Facebook: (is slightly less wounded) spear, spear.

Nate: Do you think anyone is paying attention to our battle to the death?
Facebook: Probably not.

Nate: ice blast!! ice blast!!
Facebook: I've under estimated you. Your video game kung fu is strong.

Nate: How do you do that one move? is it a,b,a,b up, down, left?
Facebook: No, it's b,b,b, up, left, up, down

Nate: thanks
Facebook: no problem.

Nate: So, after this you want to get a cup of hot chocolate after?
Facebook: Really? i've been waiting so long for you to embrace me.

Nate; hahaha...i was just messing with you...
Facebook: Damn you!.

© Copyright 2020 Nathaniel Rossi. All rights reserved.

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