Forgiven

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


A man lost in the sea searches for what he has lost

Submitted: April 05, 2018

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Submitted: April 05, 2018

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Never had I been so sickened by the space between the stars, an endless black sea that capsized my mind into believing there was no hope. I felt the boat rising and falling beneath me as I looked up into the cosmic void. A day of fishing beyond the small harbor town of Northwick had turned awry when my boat was carried by a wave further than I could paddle. Now I lay here, someplace far with nothing in sight except a single light, far in the darkness.

“Where have you carried me, nameless sea? A place so long forgotten? To drift forever or wash up on a shore of rock.” I began muttering as I dipped my fingers into the dark waters. The light in the distance moved along the water, searching for what seemed to be nothing. A time came in the late hours when my stomach churned and begged for nutrients, that I coaxed my mind into a beautiful lie.

“Great beacon, sailor’s eye; are you searching for me? Me of which no one else could find?” I grew restless. My eyes watched the hateful stalker above that mocked, and the great eye that tempted. With tired eyes and restless arms, I began pushing toward the light, running my hand through the water and pushing it behind me. I moved ever slightly through the darkness.

“Where are you Father moon? Fighting again with Mother midnight? I catch no glimpse of your great light, just the hope of reaching an unknown shore.” I began to feel my mind slipping into a fathomless abyss, a nihilistic tomb with my name written in stone. Out in the seemingly infinite sea, that which is above, was below, I felt small. Insignificant in the eyes of a malign universe. It was then that I saw her, perhaps the mind’s last fevered dream, or a phantasm of regret. Before me, in a long satin gown, she prayed. Her words were inaudible to me, but I could see her long golden hair and hear her soft voice. My chest dropped into my stomach and I felt tears collecting beneath my eyes, ready to escape in spectacular fashion.

“Amelia?” My shaken voice spoke in soft fragility. Her words ceased, and her kind eyes blue as the ocean I had come to despise, stared into me.

“Don’t be afraid.” She said to me. The light in the distance grew closer, but my eyes were stolen from the sea.

“I’m not afraid. I’m in pain. I’m absent of hope. In the dark, heaven seems so far away. I feel so lost not from them, but from you.” I said through tears. She smiled and reached her hand out to run it along my cheek.

“It isn’t as far as you think. Look up, my love. The stars hold my eyes. I’ve been watching.” She moved closer to me. My heart beat grew faster as I was reduced to nothing more than a broken child.

“Then you must know, my intentions haven’t been such pure since you were taken. Not cruel, but not pure. I stay numb most days. I poison myself every night. Every breath is a chest of rusted nails.” The waters glimmered behind her as I spoke, trying to collect myself.

“I see your heart. You’re wrong in it all. I saw you push yourself to the further. I know you are out here for a reason. You hoped for this, on my behalf. My love, do not blame yourself for that which grows. Consumes. Free yourself of ill will, for mine was not your own. Forgive.” She spoke, leaning in to kiss me. As her lips reached mine, and I could practically taste the cherry balm, she vanished and from the final glimmer of her emerged the light. The light sat on a cliff high above, and a great horn sounded into the air. The light stayed on me as I drifted closer. I sat lost in the moment of what could have been my final draw of breath, but yet a smile creeped its way to the corner of my mouth. My eyes looked up into the stars, and one in particular that twinkled in a split second. I pushed my hair from my face and stared up into the light, waving my hands.

 


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