Always Find Each Other

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: War and Military  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 05, 2019

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Submitted: October 05, 2019

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"44,596 died that autumn," I say as I look at the camera with some gin in my hands. "However, there was only one person that mattered to me." I take a few deep breaths but I end up crying even harder. "Damn it! I can't do this anymore!" I get up and turn off the camera.
The person was my lover. She was my fiance, as well as my high school sweetheart. We were inseparable. She meant everything to me and she still does. Even five years later, I think that she always will. I turn the camera back on and start over.

It was around five years ago when it happened that fall. We finished a war that we won. At least we were victorious, right? No, 44,596 people's lives were lost in that war. Something with that much bloodshed there are no real winners. The deaths even include children.
I was watching T.V. waiting for the news to come on hoping to hear when the troops are coming home. My fiance was only in the military to be able to afford higher education. I was so hopeful that I would be able to see her again. That was until a list of names of the deceased came scrolling on the screen. My fiance's, Alison's, name was on the screen.
I remember dropping my glass of water on the ground. I believe that it shattered just like my heart did at seeing her name. 

I can feel myself getting overwhelmed again. Come on, I can do this.

Just to make things worse I heard a knock on my door. It gave me so much hope that it wasn't a list of the dead and just a list of "heroes" that fought in the battle. I open the door to a tall man wearing a general's uniform he looked to have 3 stars. He just handed me a box of things from Alison, salutes me and walks off.

I still don't know if that means that her body is missing or if they just didn't salvage it. Anyways, I opened up the box to see the things that Alison collected over the years of things she wanted to give me and pictures of our times together. I slowly looked through the box. Just as I am doing now. I found a bunch of postcards with little letters to me written all over them. I don't think she ever had the time to mail them out. Most of them just tell me what she was up to in the country that she was in. They also talk about the weather and the type of people that she met. She always loved to meet new people.

After I looked a little more through the box I found our prom picture, taped to the front of a notebook. She wrote, "May we always find each other in our hearts" on the front of it. When I quickly flipped through it looked as if it was some sort of diary. I was right about that. It was her, keeping track of the events of the war to show me what she had done. She always liked being told she accomplished something or did a good job. 

I don't know the contents of this book. I haven't read it yet all I know is that a note fell out of it, written on toilet paper, to share this experience with you guys. Let's go through this together.

 

Entry One-
Chris, 

It is the first day that we are all sent out to this cold country. I don't really want to fight. You know me, a pacifist. Haha. Maybe that is not really funny. I was just one week away from being discharged and I could come back home to show you everything that happened throughout the time I was away. I guess that will have to wait.
Anyways, I just feel so hopeless here. People here seem content to killing one another. Well not our countries people, but you know, the others. It just doesn't seem right, but I guess that I will do what I have to.

I never sent any of those postcards to you. We should go over those when I get back. I will go even more in depth about the things, the people and places I've seen. It will be great. We have so much to catch up on. Six years goes by fast, doesn't it? I know that I have had breaks that I got to see you. They just don't seem long enough. 

I always think about you,

Alison

 

Maybe I should have read this sooner. I also might not have been ready to have read it sooner. However, I am reading it now and with you guys. Just as she wanted it to be. I break down in tears again, pour some gin back into my cup and drink some more as I flip through the book seeing sketches of battles and just scenery that she had possibly seen. Some of them looked like nice places. I'll just keep this in. I come across a new entry and start to read it out loud to the camera.

 

Entry Two-

Chris,

I’m scared. My group and I were captured by the enemy. I guess that it was my fault. My group wouldn’t leave me. I was going against protocol and tried to take an injured civilian to safety. They might not have been our people but they are people regardless. It worries me that they might not be safe at the moment. I didn’t even get their name.

The enemy is picking us off one at a time per day. They said that they were going to save me for last so I can watch all of my comrades die. They lock them into a sealed off glass chamber and release toxic gas into the room. All I can do is watch them die. They keep me chained in place so I am unable to move when it happens. 

What would you do in this situation? Would you still try and fight it? I don’t know
If I am going to be able to come back home, but if I do I will tell you about how I survived in the end.

I will always love you,

Alison

 

I’m flipping through the pages now. The rest of them seem to contain pictures of her comrades in, what she wrote down on the first picture, a slaughterhouse. It looks like she drew every single one that was killed there. She has blurbs on them as if they were quotes or something to remember them by. “‘Everyday might not be perfect, but it is how you use those imperfect days to make perfect ones is what matters.’ - Craig Ruiz” Is something that one of them says. I don’t know who Craig is, but I do remember Alison talking about him some of the time when she would come over for a break.

There is what looks like one more page left and it has some writing on it. It is a lot messier than what she wrote before but it doesn’t look complete. It doesn’t have an entry number and is not written in a letter format like the rest of them. All the all it says is this:

 

Final Entry-

Chris, if you are reading this, I hope that you are in a good place. The war is almost over. It looks as if we are winning. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am coming home. They put the rest of us in the slaughterhouse and are going to push the button to release the gas at any moment.  Our troops are invading the place as I am writing now but I doubt they will make it here on time. For all I know they have already released the gas. Remember, no matter how far apart we are, we will always find each other. I love you, Chris-

 

“The last sentence trails off the page a little.” I cry reading all of this and seeing how she died. It is rather hard on me. I finish off the last of my gin and look back up at the camera. “Anyways, this will be the last time you ever see me again. Chris, signing off.” 

I turn off the camera and just upload the footage raw. Not like it matters. It will be the last anyone ever sees of me. The longer the upload time the better. No one will be able to see this until the deed has already been done and passed. I fill my glass up with a little more gin and I pop a bunch of my anxiety medication in my mouth. I close my eyes. “Well, just like you said, we will always find each other in our hearts.”

 


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