How I Saved Planet 2493, and it's “Humans”
Day one: This my first day orbiting Planet 2493, Named “Earth” by its most developed inhabitants, They call themselves “Humans” according to their world wide wireless communication and information system which they call “the Internet”. Earth seems fairly similar to its nearest planet which supports advance life, Planet 2492, except Earth is much less advanced in technology and science. They have many types of non-natural transportation which seems to be limited to a distance of the nearest body orbiting them called the moon.
Day two: The humans seem unaware of my existence, they have not yet developed the technology required to see my ship, I shall not attempt to make contact until I further extend my knowledge of this strange planet.
Day three: After reading all the information on their so called “World Wide Web” I find my self confused because of all the contradictory information, fist I found out that all humans are angry, but then some appear to be happy, then I saw that humans did actually land on the moon, but then I read that it was fake, after many other instances like that I concluded that the internet is not a reliable source of information, I must interact with its inhabitance to find out more about them.
Day four: After landing on earth, I preformed a simple anglutosilosis and transformed into a human, immediately discovering that humans have a rather uncomfortable body, perhaps that is why they are always disagreeing with each other.
After walking across a large crater in one of their countries called “America” I found a prison full of different inhabitants waiting to be eaten, I walked up to one of the prisoners, called a cow by the humans, who's species seemed to be their main source of food for the humans, I greeted it with the most common greeting on the planet “hello”, the cows didn’t seem to respond, “Hello” I repeated, this time a bit louder, but Still no response. I looked around and saw a group of chicken, which were flightless birds, and walked up to them and said “hello”, but all they did was run away, so I yelled “HELLO” from a distance, They still didn’t answer. Perhaps the hoses would be the fist to greet me, so I walked up to them, and whispered “hello” fearing they would run like the chickens did, but it was a hollow victory, although they didn’t run, they barely looked up. After talking to all the prisoners the thought why of they didn’t respond struck me! It was because they were scared of being eaten, there for I would need to find the highest species on the food chain, and there was only one.
Day five: I finally found them, the only creatures that were higher than humans on the food chain, after a day of searching for a highway, I found magnificent creatures called “cars”, a creature with a hard outer shell, found in a variety of colours and shapes, it seems that their outer shell changes as they grow up. At a young age they are small and only have three mouths, then as they grow older they become wider and shorter, until they reach their prime which appears to be when they are able to reach their fastest speed, after that point they start to decline, the gain and additional two doors and slowly get thinner and rustier, They stay that way until their death.
Day six: I made contact with several cars and they finally responded, although only those with humans in their digestive track seem to respond. I walked in front of a moving car yelling “Hello” At the top of my lungs, they roared as moved passed me, after repeating that process several times, I started to notice the looks on peoples faces as they where being eaten, It was horrible, every time a car ran past me I saw the hate and anger on peoples faces.
Day seven: After studying cars, I found out that they are not only are they eating one of earth's most intelligent species, but destroying it's environment, and drinking the remains of its dead. There seems to be no reason for this creature to live any more. Tomorrow I shall board my ship and send missiles to destroy every car on earth, which will help the environment, and lead to peace among earth's inhabitants once and for all.
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