Edward Elric's short rants

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Edward Elric's short rants are legendary....so I decided to get a bunch and....I practically died because I was laughing so hard. Enjoy some of his funny short rants~

P.S. These are Vic Mignogna's short rants (and some of his fans'..). I do not own them. :D

Submitted: March 13, 2012

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Submitted: March 13, 2012

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"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK DOWN YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"

"SHORTY?! COULD A SHORTY DO THIS?! WHAT ELSE YOU WANNA CALL ME?! A HALF-PINT BEANSPROUT MIDGET?! I'M STILL GROWING YOU BACKWATER DESERT IDIOTS!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A MOUSY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!"


"WHO ARE YOU CALLING? A PIPSQUEAK MIDGET!?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE DROWNED WHEN HE STEPPED INTO THE CREEK!!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU WANT TO SQUISH LIKE AN ANT?!"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT WHEN THEY GO OUT IN PUBLIC THEY HAVE TO WEAR A BRIGHT RED COAT JUST TO BE SEEN BY EVERYBODY ELSE OUTSIDE?"

"WHO IS A MIDGET SO TINY THAT WHEN YOU TAKE ME TO SEE A FLEA CIRCUS YOU HAVE TO PUT A LEASH ON ME TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MIX ME UP WITH THE FLEAS YOU JERK!"

"WHO IS A MICRO-MIDGET SO SMALL THAT HIS POCKET WATCH DOESN'T FIT INTO HIS POCKET; I FIT INTO THE POCKET WATCH?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN ATOMIC SHRIMP SO MICROSCOPIC THAT EVEN FLEAS CRACK ON ABOUT MY HEIGHT?"

"WHO'S SO TINY THAT YOU FIND IT HARD TO HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH YOUR WRENCH AS MY HEAD'S SO TINY YOU CAN'T FIND IT WINRY!"

"WHO IS OF SUCH A SMALL STATURE THAT IF I EVER PUT MY HOOD UP ON MY RED COAT I RESEMBLE A CHIGGER*?"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT IF I STEP FOOT IN A NURSERY THEY'LL SAY I'M TOO SMALL TO BE ENROLLED THERE!"

"WHO'S SO MUCH OF A PIPSQUEAK THAT I TRIP OVER ANTS?!"

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT THE REASON PEOPLE THINK I DON'T READ A NEWSPAPER IS BECAUSE IT'S BIGGER THAN ME AND WHEN I HOLD IT I SHRINK COMPARED TO IT'S SIZE?"

"WHO'S THE SIZE OF A 5 YEAR OLD SO MUCH THAT PEOPLE THINK THE MY AGE IS GOING DOWN INSTEAD OF UP, YOU BASTARD?"

"WHO IS SO SMALL THAT PEOPLE CALL HIM THE KARATE TODDLER WHEN HE'S FIGHTING?"

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"WHO'S SMALLER THAN A DUST BUNNY, WINRY?"

"WHO'S SO MUCH OF A RUNT THAT I CAN FEEL GRAVITY MORE THAN YOU BECAUSE I'M CLOSER TO THE GROUND?!"

"AM I REALLY SO SHORT THAT EVEN WHEN I'M NEXT TO YOU I DON'T SHARE YOUR AIRSPACE?"

"WHO'S A DWARF SO SMALL THAT I HAVE TO MAKE MY OWN RED COAT BECAUSE NO SHOPS MAKE CLOTHES THAT SMALL FOR ME!"

"WHO'S SO MINATURE THAT WHEN I EAT SHRIMP COCKTAIL PEOPLE CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THE FRIGGIN SHRIMP!"

"WHO'S SO MUCH OF A PINT-SIZED ALCHEMIST THAT THEY NAMED A SONG IN MY HONOUR CALLED 'PINT-SIZED ALCHEMIST', YOU MORONIC COLONEL?"



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