“NEW YEARS 2011”
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR
(We start with Odysseus, M. Faulkner, Airstar Flyer, Shane Dawson, Sean Byrne and Calvin Hatt In front of a mini-ball with “2010” at the top and “2011” at the bottom.)
ODYSSEUS: Hello. I’m Odysseus from the hit NEO Network Reality Show “The Real World: Ithaca” and this is M. Faulkner from Faulkner and Bruce, Airstar Flyer from the show with the same name, Shane
Dawson from CSI Minds and Order, Sean Byrne from CUPS News and Calvin Hatt from the NEO Show “Month by Month” which is set to premiere in January 2011.
M. FAULKNER: You know, we could’ve introduced ourselves.
ODYSSEUS: I wanted to get the d**k-measuring out of the way.
AIRSTAR: Yeah, why do we always have to compete?
M. FAULKNER: Because my show’s BETTER!
ODYSSEUS: Gentleman, gentleman, please!
(M. Faulkner gives Airstar a pixelated middle finger.)
AIRSTAR: Oh, you can kiss my ass!
ODYSSEUS: PLEASE! Anyway, we want to wish all our viewer, singular, a happy and healthy and harpy and awesome new year.
CALVIN: And be sure to check out the new NEO Network series “Month By Month” coming this January.
ODYSSEUS: So go enjoy the relatively minor date change you use as an excuse to get drunk off your ass, and we’ll enjoy the readers we get from this minor date change we use an excuse for a promo.
HAPPY 2011, EVERYBODY!
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