The one who chose to fall

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Rage and jealousy are powerful forces. The condition of the main character leads to moments of regret, all because he tried to save her love.

Submitted: September 30, 2012

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Submitted: September 30, 2012

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THE ONE WHO CHOSE TO FALL


I brush my lips with my fingers as I gasp for some air, repeating to myself that I don’t believe I deserve to be here, looking at her under the light of the moon that shines through the curtains, making her snow-white skin look blue and alive. She turns around to face me, but I wish she could be awake so I can see her eyes again; I wish I could crawl up in that bed and hug her, but I have no other choice to kneel besides the bed and admire for as long as I’m allowed. I remember those days when I had those small chats with her. Those days when I thought of her before I could go to sleep. Those days when I could not pay attention to anyone as long as I could stare into nothing and think about what I could try the next day. Those days when I smiled just by watching her play, study, chat, walk, breath, but then there´s the day when rage became the end of the fantasy.

I noticed her walking slowly around the field, looking down at her feet, trying to find something to kick, something to entertain herself with. I immediately asked some people next to me what was going on with her. “It’s Darren.”-someone said. “I think he hit her or something.”-someone else replied. I exhaled with anger as I thought the situation through. I hated that guy. I thought he wasn’t bad enough like to hit her, but he sure wasn’t some saint like not to…not to do something worse. I thought of everything that could’ve happened. Maybe they just had a fight, maybe he did hit her, maybe he raped her. “To hell with him.”- I thought. I had already heard things about him before, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him being even close to her; His mere disgraceful existence disgusted me enough.

I got home with a broken heart; apparently everything they said about him was true. I tried to shake the thought out of my head. I couldn’t. Instead, I replaced it with the image of a body hanging from a tree, as I yelled to an immense crowd “This is the one who chose to fall”. He didn’t deserve another chance, so I had to make sure he never had one…I had to end his life.

I found out that Darren was going to meet one of his random girls in front of some clothing store close to his house. I stood for half an hour inside the darkest alley I´ve seen in my life. Every couple of seconds I looked at the street to see if he got any close. Finally, after an eternity of unpleasantness and sadness, I saw his pathetic feet move closer to the alley. I counted two seconds, and then I walked out of the alley to say hi to him, telling him I had to talk to him urgently. “Dammit dude I have a date!”- He yelled at me. I told him it would be fast. I began to make noises as if something was hurting my stomach…he fell for it. I quickly covered his mouth with my left hand, cut his throat with a kitchen knife, and finally, out of anger, I stabbed his right eye with the same, bloody knife. The last cut ceased the screaming. I had finally stopped him. Thoughts of my family, friends, and life began to pass randomly through my eyes. I began to try and understand the dead body in front of me…so still. I had taken his life with my own hands, hands stained with blood that had dried too quickly. I still ask myself if I was ready to take a life like that, I never had any training. But I had no option; I was led to it, all because of that desire to deliver my sweetheart from more unnecessary pain, I had to try. I cried in the alley for a long time. After a while I noticed one of the reasons why I felt so bad; Darren had pulled out some Swiss knife and stabbed me in the stomach before I could kill him, and I didn’t notice, I was too angry and confused. I pulled up my shirt with pain, just to see that the cut wasn´t too bad, but I had to do something about it quickly. I eventually walked out slowly into the street, where a car, driven by my beloved´s mother, was ready to take me to the other side, along with the man I killed.

A few hours seem to have passed since that happened. I suppose I´m glad that she finally fell asleep after a night of bad news. Maybe if I hadn´t killed Darren I wouldn´t be here, wishing I could have a second chance to try and talk to her more, to make her happy…but it’s never enough, and its already too late. I wonder what other ones would´ve thought about me being such a bloodthirsty freak, I am now worse than the one I despised. Am I in love? Or angry? Or insane? Can I forgive myself? Maybe the body hanging in the image I thought of was me, and I told everyone that I brought this upon myself. I wasn’t even sure about how she felt…how she feels right now, what she could feel in the future.

I look at my hand…ghostly and unnatural. I slowly move it towards her face, and softly caress her check with my inexistent fingers. She smiles. I jump backwards with awe…did she actually feel me? It doesn’t matter now. Death pulls me harder towards the edge, and right before I go, I have the blessing to witness her smile again. It’s strange though, I don’t know if I should smile too...I know that that angelical smile won’t last for long.


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