Draw My Blood

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
A poem I wrote about how I feel.

Submitted: July 17, 2012

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Submitted: July 17, 2012

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No more anti-depressants, no more telling them lies. No more waiting and watching to hide my disguise.

I can't keep pretending to be happy and saying that I'll forgive God for making people who just weren't meant to live.

I guess that's my title, I'm caught up in the grey: stuck in between hatreds where my fears will outweigh

Every open door that just seems to keep shutting. I could ask for help but I'd rather keep cutting.

 

I'd rather keep cutting just to watch myself bleed.

To see that blood drip is all that I need

To feel relaxed, feel at home, to feel the world has agreed

That maybe this earth, this life time, isn’t for me.

 

God damn it feels so good, but it hurts. I knew it would.

I knew with every line that I drew that the razor could

Make pain, make me better. It just feels too damn good.

 

I love the way that it feels and the lines that I draw can draw out emotions that can't hide the flaws

Of every scar that they leave and the dirty looks that replace the once pleasant smile on every judging human face.

But if only they knew all the horrors I've faced then maybe I wouldn't be seen as a disgrace.

I'm not the first victim and I won't be the last but you'll have no fucking clue until you relive my past.

Over and over. Could this be my fault?

Over and over. But it was never my fault.

You sick, twisted bastard I hope youll read what i wrote. Know that if you touch another child I'll slit your fucking throat.

You'll get what's coming and I'll feel alright knowing I'll get revenge. Karma's a bitch, right?

 

But for now I'll keep cutting because it feels so damn good

It hurts, fuck it hurts. But I knew it would.

Please, razor can you wipe away what was misunderstood

With the blood that drips easily. I knew that you could.

How can something hurt so bad, but feel so damn good?


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