THIS TOO, SHALL NOT PASS

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Concept of Soul mates. Are they real?

Submitted: March 14, 2015

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Submitted: March 14, 2015

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It was raining so hard that it looked like rain will sweep everything with it.

The flowers and the trees, 
The bricks and the walls, 
The cars and the road and
The tears and sorrows.

Nobody seemed to be caring about it though.. Or maybe they did care about it but were afraid to show? Or maybe they were showing it yet no one around could understand what they were feeling?

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Setting all these theories aside, there was this girl sitting by window, playing with her spoon in coffee mug. She was so consumed in her thoughts that she wasn’t aware with her surroundings. She had no idea that her parents were arguing behind and her kitten was about to break the photo portrait which she doesn’t seem to like that much. After all she was only 6 when they took this awkward photo in a studio with a weird photographer. She never quite understands the concept of taking picture. Why is our brain which is more powerful than a camera, not enough to remind us of moments in our life. Why else do we have brain? She blamed technology for this because if we humans weren’t this dependent on technology then we won’t end up forgetting things so quickly. Perhaps than her childhood love, Stan, won’t have forgot about her so quickly.. Let’s hear the rest of the story from Aria herself.
I was twelve when I started to understand the concept of love in my life. While my other age fellows were obsessing about the sex and child birth, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the concept of soul mates. Is it a myth? Can someone actually connect with other human being for life? Can we give up everything, even our life to make the one we love happy?
All this was too good to be true for me yet I couldn’t just stop wondering about my soul mate. There was a trend in our family at that time. Every guy or girl was linked with one person they talk/play most with. In my case, that was my cousin. I didn’t enjoy company of girls that much because all the talked about was make up, clothes etc. I wanted to be involved in much more challenging things like basketball, monopoly, pets, races etc.
This is where Stand complimented me. He was my only age fellow in neighbourhood who was well known to be my best buddy, but was he my best buddy? I still don’t know. It was extremely hard for me to define our relationship as there was no perimeter in which we fit in. We were always bit more than friends and bit less than lovers. We used to talk on Skype till late night but never promised each other to talk again next day. I felt like he was afraid of committing and me of overcommitting.
We haven’t talked with each other since two months. I am counting every single day which seem to be passing quickly (isn’t it supposed to pass slowly? Time stops in sorrow no?) Did he forget about me? Doesn’t he miss me any more? Why doesn’t he feel the say way? Times like this I feel like an empty shell that is stuck at the shore of loud waves yet it has nothing inside it.

In later next ten years, my life completely changed. I married the one I love! Yes ,Stan! I finally found my soul mate. I can’t be more happy with my life and then we had our first fight. I got hurt  and he got angry. I was devastated because I thought this won’t happen with my soul mate. He doesn’t understand what I feel. Turns out he is not the type to fix things instead he plays victim and try to confront as less as possible.

Then things got better again.. I again got happy with my love life, afterall I was living my dream to be in love.

Another fight occurred.. I again got hurt, he again get angry that why did I got hurt? I was so hurt that every piece of my body was screaming for this to stop and he was so  angry that he couldn’t stop taking out his anger at me. Something changed.. This time he hugged and kissed me while taking out his anger. I controlled myself and let it go on the promise that next time, he will not hurt me more when I am already hurt. He agreed.

Then things got better again.. I again got happy with my love life, after all I was living my dream to be in love.

And then five more fights occurred in same pattern. Problem was that he used to hug and kiss me while telling me how wrong I am, possibly with issues of emotional instability etc. I can’t take this pattern anymore. I feel like I will go crazy myself.

How can I stop him? I always knew he was emotionally weak that’s why he trusted on things like tapping to make him feel good. He still used to complain everything about his life to his past issues.

One night I got very frustrated. I felt like my brain will explode by all the pain that it is not ready to take in. I said him to stop but he couldn’t stop telling me how worse I could feel for who I am. I again screamed stop but he couldn’t stop telling me how wrong I am. I kept saying stop stop stop and ran away to washroom. When I came out after half an hour, I could hear him snoring..

Then again I felt like an empty shell that is stuck at the shore of loud waves yet it has nothing inside it. I still believe in true love and soul mate. Although I know that one is not for me in this lifetime.


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