A short tale about snails, sorbets and a silenced faux pas

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short tale about meeting my girlfriends parents for the first time and hilarious mispronunciations.

Submitted: May 03, 2014

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Submitted: May 03, 2014

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After going out for a meal on Friday evening with my girlfriend’s family and ordering snails for a starter, it took me back to a time that I went out for a meal with my previous girlfriend’s parents and met them for the very first time………………

There are a few things in this life that can set the panic stations exploding up the Richter scale. Job interviews, jumping out of a plane and…………meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Even more so, meeting them for the first time at a posh fancy restaurant, where you don’t understand a single thing on the menu.

I had been told of the meal three weeks before and the dread had kicked in instantly. What were we going to talk about? What questions were going to be asked? What were they going to think of me? What time would it be over so I could go back home, sit in the corner and cry?

I didn’t get off to a good start, panicking about what to wear and how to have my hair (really??!). I was 15 minutes late, which in the eyes of her father may well have been 15 hours.

Bearing in mind the two parents in question were both doctors (way above my intellectual station) and they didn’t even own a television, my usual conversation of Coronation Street, 24 and The Sopranos wasn’t going to go down too well.

I managed to hold my own at times. Her dad was wearing a Great North Run t-shirt (I mean seriously, who wears a GNR t-shirt to go out for a meal??!), so being from Newcastle and having once taken part in the run, I managed to make some conversation. 

To impress, I decided to be adventurous and order snails as a starter. I think I literally had the worst time of my life. Not only did I order snails, I ordered snails covered in garlic, I HATE garlic!!!

The main course came and went, the awkward silences continued and then it was time to order desert. Once again, remember this was a ‘fancy’ restaurant and I was more used to Nandos and Frankie & Benny’s.

I read the desert menu up and down several times, nothing really stood out.

I had finally made my decision. I sat up, cleared my throat and proudly announced that I would be ordering the sorbet. A silence filled with awkward looks suddenly fell upon the table.

The next 30 minutes or so were strange to say the least. My girlfriend kept on giving me what seemed like sympathetic smiles, as if she was reassuring me. Her parents made limited attempts at conversation. I knew something was wrong, but surely it couldn’t be because of something I had done?

It wasn’t until later on that evening that once we had said goodbye to her parents and returned home, that to my horror my girlfriend revealed that the reason for the subsequent mood change was down to me.

Confused I asked what I could have possibly done to silence the table for over half of an hour.

She replied, informing me when I ordered my desert I had mispronounced Sorbet. Instead of pronouncing it correctly, silencing the T (sor-bay), I had pronounced it Sor-BIT!!!!

Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last and I never saw her parents again.

But on the bright side, my new girlfriends parents own televisions in EVERY room of their house :-) 

Every cloud………….


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