This Movie Idea I Have

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The story is of a guy sharing an idea he has for a movie he's planning on writing. It's a pretty bad idea, but he thinks it's genius.

Submitted: July 30, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 30, 2014



~~ So, there was this idea I had for a movie I was going to write and take to a studio, probably to get it made into a feature.  I’m still going to write it, just haven’t done it yet.  I’ve been working a lot lately and need to find the time, but anyways, the movie centers around this guy named Gary.

First off, Gary’s a huge pussy.  And not just some couldn’t-defend-himself-in-a-fight-against-another-man type of pussy, but a rarely-leaves-his-house-because-he’s-scared-of-the-world-and-cries-himself-to-sleep-most-nights type of pussy.  He’s out of shape, wears glasses, thinning hair, yada, yada, yada.  The typical aging loser.  There are these nerdy hobbies he’s into like Star Trek LARPing, taxidermied birds, snow globe collecting, more yada, more yada, more yada.  He has this cliché boring job that he hates, working in an office selling business cards or something.  His boss is a dick.  Coworkers don’t pay any attention to him.  They just brag all day about the women they sleep with, sending Gary to the bathroom to explode into jealous, pent up aggression filled outbursts.  Stall doors slam.  Paper towel holders fly.  Absolutely pathetic.  Gary is what they call, the movie’s “Protagonist.”

 The office receptionist at his work is named Samantha.  BEAUTIFUL!  Big tits, pretty face, smells like flowers from Heaven.  Of course, all the guys want to fuck her.  But, Gary sees a deeper side of her.  She’s smart and caring, more than just a walking vagina.  And, she’s always real nice to Gary, but he can’t get words to come out of his mouth whenever she’s around.  It’s like she has this trance over him and he can’t break out of it.  “Hey Gary,” she’ll say and he just stares with a dimwitted smile on his face, fantasizing of Fabio-book-cover-like love scenes between the two. 

 And I want the movie to show these weird fantasies he has all day.  In this case he’d be riding a horse over a mountain or something and Samantha would be waiting on the other side, laid out on a blanket.  It’d be satire, but still give the audience a real look at how his brain works.  Back to Samantha, she obviously is the movie’s “Romanic Interest.”

 Now, in the beginning of the movie, Gary’s real depressed.  See, his ex-girlfriend, Heidi, dumped him a couple of years before and he just can’t get over her.  No matter how hard he tries to cry his love for her out of his body, it just won’t leave.  And, the audience wouldn’t get why because she was a huge, raging bitch to him.  Her level of bitchiness was equivalent to Gary’s level of pussiness.  There’s going to be these flashbacks where the audience gets to learn about her. They’d show how she used to scream and bitch and treat Gary like a tyrant treats a peasant unable to pay his taxes.  And, the audience would be like “How could he ever love someone so horrible?  Move on Gary!  You’re too good for her!”  But, he loved her, so he just put up with it.

 So, now Gary’s single and miserable and sits alone in his apartment jerking off into puddles of his own tears.  “No one loves me!  Please Heidi give me one more chance,” as he stares a picture of them eating snow cones on the beach.  “I’ll be the man you always wanted me to be.”  Just miserable.

 At his shitty job, his boss is being an asshole to him because his sales have been slipping.  Gary can’t afford to lose his job, so he cowers back to his cubicle, tail tucked tightly in his crack.  Big tits Samantha tries to console him, which makes him feel better at first, but then gets even more depressed because he can’t get a word out.  He just stares at her like some birdwatcher who’s just found a spotted falcon or something.

 So this goes on for a bit, showing his miserable life and everything, building the characters.  If it were a play it’d be considered the first act.

 Then, the life changing event happens.  While Gary’s sulking in his cubicle one day, his friendly co-worker Jermaine approaches and invites him to play poker with the guys after work because they need another person.  Gary agrees.

 Now they’re at the bar.  The drinks are strong.  The guys are cracking jokes.  The poker stakes are being raised.  Gary’s being awkward.  But, next thing he knows, he’s drunk and sucking every drop of fun out of the room by professing his love for and misery caused by Heidi.  No one knows what to say.  “You should get a dog,” one of the guys suggests.  Genius!  He had a dog named Scooter when he was a boy.  He fucking loved that dog!  Conveniently, the man also knows a shelter down the street that’s still open.

 So, they’re at the shelter and after passing by all of the baby killer dogs, Gary sees this Beagle/Labrador/Godknowswhat sort of mutt mix.  The clouds part and a spotlight from Heaven shines on the mangy dog.  The angels sing “Haaaaaaaaahhh!”  He’s the one! 

 Next morning, Gary wakes up hungover.  He walks through his living room and into his kitchen to make coffee.  Still dazed, he looks over and sees the dog lying on the couch.  Gary looks away in disbelief then snaps his head back around.  Holy shit!  He got a dog!  He doesn’t even remember getting a dog.  He rushes over to it, freaking out.  On the floor he sees some paper that the dog chewed up and kneels down to see what was destroyed.  Hopefully, it’s a bill.  Maybe he’ll like this dog, after all.  Hahahahahaha!  Obviously, that joke wouldn’t be in the movie.  Anyways, it’s not a bill, as he leans closer he sees it’s the snow cones on the beach picture with Heidi.  Noooooooooo!!! 

 He grabs the dog to take it back, but right when he’s about to walk out the door, he has an epiphany of sorts.  It’s, as if, the torn up picture is some type of deep symbolism.  Like, he can finally start to move on from Heidi, and this dog’s been sent here to help him with that. 

 So, now he has a dog and he names him Bennie.  At first, it’s all rainbows.  They take walks to the park, lay on the couch together, and whatnot.  They really bond and become best friends.  I thought this part could be a montage like in the beginning of the movie “UP” when it goes through pictures to tell the story of the couple growing old together.  Not the exact same, though.  Maybe, instead of pictures it’d be home videos or something. 

 It seems like Gary’s healed and Bennie is his savior, but Gary runs into Heidi at that store.  He starts telling her how great everything’s going and makes a plea for her, to try to get her to give him one last shot.  She blasts him with some heart shriveling comment..  Then her new boyfriend walks up and puts his arm around her.  I was thinking the boyfriend be someone Gary knows, too.  Just haven’t figured out who yet.  Maybe his boss, or one of Jermaine’s friends that I’ll need to make important in the poker scene.  Maybe, I need to write a whole new character.  Not sure yet.  But, anyways, it crushes Gary.

 Now, he’s down again.  Jermaine tries to help him get out of his slump, inviting him to poker with the guys every week.  They become friends, and there would have been these hilarious scenes where the young, black Jermaine tries to teach old, white Gary how to dress better, dance, pick up women and just be more confident in life.  Gary would help Jermaine with his baby momma issues and those sorts of things.  Hilarious!  But, there would have been tender moments sprinkled in there too, as they realize they’re not so different, afterall.

 Anyways, during this bonding time, strange things start happening around Gary’s house.  Little shit, at first.  Can’t find his car keys.  Dirty dishes in the sink he doesn’t remember using.  One of the times, Gary gets his favorite meal from some restaurant, but when he gets it home to eat it, he has to leave for some reason.  He puts it in the fridge, runs his errand and comes back home.  But, his meal’s gone.  Gone, gone.  Like the Earth opened up, at his meal for dinner, and shut back up.  It would have added a level of mystery to the story to keep the viewer hooked while the bonding with Jermaine was happening.

 Then, he wakes up in the middle of the night one night to noise in the living room.  The hallway outside his bedroom is lit up by moonlight.  Gary sits up in bed to look down it and a shadow moves across.  It’s Bennie, but he’s walking on two legs, just strutting down the hall like that’s how dogs are supposed to walk.  His shadow creeps closer to the bedroom.  Gary pulls the blanket up over his head and pretends he’s asleep.

 The next day, Gary’s sure he’s going crazy.  “Dogs can’t walk like that.  It’s a dog, not a person!  I must have been dreaming.  That had to be it.  I think I remember waking up after and realizing it was a dream.  Or, what if Bennie’s some sort of magic, circus dog and he makes me millions, traveling around and putting on shows?”  Roll the orgy on a pile of money fantasy.

 When he comes home from work that night, Bennie’s sitting on the couch watching T.V.  But, he’s not sitting like a dog, he’s upright like a person.  Like how he walked the other night.  As if, his spine evolved vertically, like those charts that show the transformation of man, from hunched ape to guy with fishing pole.  Only instead of millions of years, it took two days. 

 He sits down on the couch to see Bennie’s watching one of the old pornos Gary hides in his dresser.  Gary grabs the remote to change it and Bennie snatches it right out of his hand, giving Gary a stare.  Gary goes to his room for the rest of the night and keeps the door locked.

 In the coming days, Gary tries to ask people if this has ever happened to them, but how do you ask a question like that without sounding like a delusional maniac?  You can’t.  For all he knows, every dog walks around on two legs and watches porn when no one’s around. 

 Again, he tries to talk to Samantha, but he nearly breaks out in hives when thinking about it.  You see, with Samantha, at one point I thought about having this storyline in the movie where, although Gary’s too scared to talk to Samantha, Samantha’s too scared to talk to some beefy guy at the gym she has a crush on.  Then the beefy guy’s too scared to talk to the beautiful woman he sees at the coffee shop every morning.  Coffee shop woman would be too scared to talk to the handsome man in her apartment complex.  And so on.  It was going to show how no matter how out of our league we may feel someone is, there’s always someone who they feel that way about.  We all have the same universal fear, you know.  That someone’s too good for us.  It would have been a really good storyline, but to too long.  “Kill your darlings,” as they say, so that’s what I did.  It may be my next script.  After I write this.

 Back to Gary, he comes home from work, Bennie’s watching porn again on the television, which is a regular thing, at this point.  Gary starts heading to his room. 

 “You’re out of milk,” Bennie says.  Gary can’t believe it.  He fucking talks now!!!

 “Hi,” Gary says, waving like an idiot.  “I’m Gary.”

 “I’ve lived here for six months.  Obviously, I already know that.  You think I’m fucking stupid?”

 “Um, noooooooo…..”

 “Good.  So tomorrow, when you get done with work, instead of racing home to jerk off, could you please pick up a gallon of milk?”


 “Thank you.”  Bennie goes back to his porn.

 As time goes by, Bennie’s behavior continues to get worse.  He starts smoking and drinking liquor, stealing money from Gary to support his habits.  The once white picket fence type of house Gary’s put his life into, starts looking like a haven for meth heads.  Burn holes in the couch, old food left everywhere, piss stains on the walls.  It smells like vomit and cigarettes. 

 All the bonding things that most men do with their dogs, the home video stuff, those days are gone, now. 
 When Gary takes him to the park, Bennie sticks his head up all the pretty women’s skirts to get a nose full of her sweet scent.  Gary yanks Bennie back, pacing away in embarrassment.  “She was a real smeller,” Bennie always says. 

 At home, there’s no more cuddling and watching T.V. together.  Anytime Gary even tries to pet him, Bennie calls him a “fag”. 

 I thought maybe I should show the decline of their relationship with home videos, the same way their bonding was earlier.  That way it’d show the rise and the fall, and the audience would see how Bennie becomes the films “Antagonist.”  But, how much is too much, you know? 

 So, anyways, now it’s been established that his dog’s a chain smoking, whiskey drinking, borderline sexual predator, but everything else starts going downhill too. 

 At work, Gary’s asshole boss keeps bitching at him for everything.  It’s beyond complaining about sales.  It’s everything.  His pitch, the way he dresses, or if he punches in even one minute late.  On a daily bases, in front of everyone, his boss comes up with a reason to detach Gary’s testicles and chuck them against the wall, splattering like water balloons.

  Then, Jermaine stops hanging out with him.  “We have enough people for poker this week,” Jermaine would say.  Gary dies a little inside each time.

 On top of that, Samantha’s got a new boyfriend that she’s smitten for.  Bragging about how great he is, all the time.  Jealous Gary sits in his cubicle fantasizing of the new boyfriend abusing Samantha and Gary rescuing her, beating the guy in all sorts of fucked up ways.  And, I mean FUCKED UP ways.  Stomping out teeth, gouging eyes till they ooze, biting off fingers, twisting the guy’s head around and decapitation him with his bare hands.  “My hero!”  Samantha would cheer as blood from her boyfriend’s neck rains down on her.

 Back at home, Bennie’s now demanding that Gary builds him a doghouse fit for a king because Gary’s place is a shithole.  Gary obviously doesn’t have the funds or skills to do it.  He tells Bennie to build it himself but “I don’t have thumbs” is the reply he gets.

Then, Bennie starts leaving at night to do god knows what.  Gary decides to find out where, so he follows him one night through a bunch of trees or whatever and watches Bennie go into a bar.  Typical.  Gary leans his face into the window for a closer look and he sees Bennie inside hanging out with Jermaine.  They’re laughing and slapping hands in all sorts of ways.  That fucking mutt stole his only friend!

 At this point Gary doesn’t think life can get much lower.  He hates his job, his dog’s a dick, he doesn’t have any friends, the girl of his dreams is getting her sweet pussy blasted by some other dude.

 Then my favorite scene would come.  The one that would really get people talking.  The “water cooler” moment as they call it in the business.

It starts out with Gary going out one night to one of his nerdy hobby things.  A snow globe convention or something and when comes home, he hears the T.V. on in his bedroom and Bennie just laughing away.  Gary storms in to see what the hell’s going on and sees Bennie lying there on the bed…DUN…DUN…DUN…DUUUUUNNNN…AND HE’S WITH SAMANTHA!!! 

Apparently, he’s the boyfriend that Samantha’s been bragging about at work.  And they just look at him and say “hi” like it’s completely normal for the two of them to be on a date. 

 Instead of leaving, Gary sits down on the bed next to them because it’s his bed.  He’s taking a stand.  If anyone’s leaving, it’s going to be them!

 Now, Bennie and Samantha are whispering, touching, laughing, and Gary’s just sitting there stewing, pretending the show on T.V. is interesting.

 “You like that?” He hears Samantha say.  Samantha starts slobbering away on Bennie’s neck.  Gary looks down to see Bennie’s slimy, red dick slithering out of its pouch.  It stands at attention, gleaming in the moonlight in all its glory!  Gary looks at Bennie, appalled.  Samantha opens wide and starts heading to it.  Bennie smiles, shooting Gary a wink.  “She’s a real smeller,” he whispers.

 “Get the hell out of my room!”  Gary explodes out of the bed.  “You’re supposed to be my best friend.  And, you Samantha, you’re fucking a dog!”

 Bennie hops out of bed with Samantha.  “You better build me that fucking doghouse,” he threatens. 

 End scene.  It sounds gross, but I want the camera to show a close up of the dick.  And I want it to be detailed too.  Realistic, you know.  Really get the people talking. 

 So, Gary, then decides to build the doghouse to get Bennie away from him.  He’s outside and the sun’s blazing.  He’s sweating away, sawing and pounding in the backyard like Noah building the ark.  When he’s done, it barely stands, but Bennie likes it enough to move in and that’s all he cares about.
 Now, Gary goes to work and his boss yells at him and blah, blah, blah, but when he gets home, the door’s locked.  He tries his key but it doesn’t work.  A note taped to the door says “Enjoy your new house in the backyard.”  First he stole his friend, then his love, and now his house!

 Gary sleeps in the doghouse that night.  Of course, there’d be a huge storm to make it worse.  “BENNNIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”  He’d howl, as an aerial camera shot fades away into the night.

 Next day, Gary head to a gun shop and buys something big enough to take down a fucking elephant.

 When he gets back home, he boots the front door in, gun in hand, waking Bennie out of another drunken stupor.  Gary sticks the gun in Bennie’s face and hits him with THE line of the movie:  “It’s Old Yeller time!!!”

 Gary orders Bennie to the backyard.  Bennie pleads for his life talking about all the good times they had and how he can stop talking.  He brings up all the home video shit.  It’s going to be very convincing and just when the audience thinks Gary’s not going to do it, BOOM!!!, he blows Bennie’s head off.  Camera fades out. 

 But, the movie’s not over yet.

 Cut to the next morning.  Gary wakes up thinking everything’s peachy.  He heads to the kitchen to make some coffee and lying on the living room floor is Bennie.  Just lying there, like dogs do. 

 “I thought you were dead???”

 The room starts spinning.  The whole world is a daze.  Bennie could never talk.  He’s been a normal dog this whole time.  Gary’s imagined this whole thing.

 That’s the big twist.  See, it’s like Gary let his insecurities control him so much that he even became jealous of this dog and created this character in his head driven by his lack of confidence and fears that have run his entire life.  Bennie was everything Gary wanted to be.  This guy that makes friends and gets laid and just, in general, doesn’t give a shit.  And him shooting Bennie was symbolic of how he isn’t going to let that fear run his life any longer.  He’s finally stepped up and faced it.  I know It’s kinda been done before but this is better.  It’s like Tyler Durden meets Rosebud meets fucking brilliance!  People are gonna go nuts!

 Alright, now, final scene: 

 Gary walks through the front doors at his work.  Heavy rock-n-roll music plays in the background.  Maybe some fog or doves flying as he bursts through the front door, taking off his shades.  His boss, who I still haven’t given a name to, comes over.  We’ll call him Todd.  So Todd comes over bitching “This is the second time this week…”  Gary head butts him, blood flies, Todd’s body drops.  Gary struts through the office like he owns the shit, all his co-workers staring in disbelief.  Gary makes his way to Samantha’s desk, tells her she’s gorgeous, takes her by the hand and walks out the door into the light.  It’s a new Gary. 

 The end. 

 Obviously there’d be more detail and stuff in the script, but what’d you think?

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