I wonder if you’re looking up
at the same night sky.
Are you laying on your back,
or on your side?
I wonder if tomorrow
the sun will rise
and you’ll awake the same way
we did years ago.
Will you brush your teeth,
your hair,
and stare
back into the eyes of a girl
aging too fast?
I wonder if you’ll walk to work,
and wear that same smirk
that wrapped a blanket
around my heart
that summer,
when love was just a start.
I wonder what you’ll think
along the way.
Will you think about the
lights you forgot to turn off?
Or the golden retriever named Ed
who jumped in your bed
while you were getting dressed.
Will you think of way back when,
when you and I shared
all we knew?
And who could’ve known
that what was shown was
all we’d ever get to know?
Will you think about me,
like I think about you,
when that song sings memories
to my old ears,
the one we heard when everything
wasn’t moving so fast
with a chance we thought
our love could last?
I wonder if you’ll think about
the time we saw Dean Martin
and shared sodas on a couch.
I wonder if you’ll go home,
if your journey will bring you back
to a place in your heart
and a place in your steps that
doesn’t find its way back to me.
I wonder how you’re doing,
even all these years later,
and if you’ve enjoyed marriage;
I want it too.
But tomorrow is another day
that will see sun rise and set,
and bring me back into my bed.
And tomorrow night when
all is still, and the evening sky is painted
that dark purple-blue,
I wonder if I’ll look up there,
and again think of you.
Submitted: July 12, 2018
© Copyright 2023 Nik Scott. All rights reserved.
Comments
Matthew D. Hay (Tangible Word)
I typically despise sappy love poetry, but there was a certain sentiment that partially had me throughout the stanzas. A solid, if I were to attribute to it a numbered evaluation, 5/10. What this poem lacks is originality, and it's particularly offensive to begin your poem with a tired cliche such as 'looking up at the same sky.'
I understand no one on Booksie will say a negative thing - because they only comment to have their own work read - so please don't take this criticism too poorly. For, I really did like the lines concerning the dog and the imagery of the sky. This is a solid poem, but the lack of interesting ideas and reliance on a cliche, leaves me feeling somewhat unaffected. Technically, it flows nicely. Overall, I did enjoy this, but more individual metaphors and imagery would've gone a long way, in my deeply subjective, cynical opinion.
Congrats on the finals.
Sun, November 18th, 2018 11:37pmunmatchable
Congratulations on reaching the finals :-)
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Joy Shaw
Quite fantastic. Nice imagery. I really like your mention of the dog jumping in the bed and looking up at the moon.
Sun, November 18th, 2018 8:38pmAuthor
Reply
Thanks so much, Joy. Thanks for stopping by and reading my poem.
Fri, November 23rd, 2018 7:43pm