I Wonder (From Years Ago)

Poem by: Nik Scott

Reads: 1394 | Likes: 4 | Shelves: 1 | Comments: 5

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I wonder if you’re looking up

at the same night sky.

Are you laying on your back,

or on your side?

I wonder if tomorrow

the sun will rise

and you’ll awake the same way

we did years ago.

Will you brush your teeth,

your hair,

and stare

back into the eyes of a girl

aging too fast?

I wonder if you’ll walk to work,

and wear that same smirk

that wrapped a blanket

around my heart

that summer,

when love was just a start.

I wonder what you’ll think

along the way.

Will you think about the

lights you forgot to turn off?

Or the golden retriever named Ed

who jumped in your bed

while you were getting dressed.

Will you think of way back when,

when you and I shared

all we knew?

And who could’ve known

that what was shown was

all we’d ever get to know?

Will you think about me,

like I think about you,

when that song sings memories

to my old ears,

the one we heard when everything

wasn’t moving so fast

with a chance we thought

our love could last?

I wonder if you’ll think about

the time we saw Dean Martin

and shared sodas on a couch.

I wonder if you’ll go home,

if your journey will bring you back

to a place in your heart

and a place in your steps that

doesn’t find its way back to me.

I wonder how you’re doing,

even all these years later,

and if you’ve enjoyed marriage;

I want it too.

But tomorrow is another day

that will see sun rise and set,

and bring me back into my bed.

And tomorrow night when

all is still, and the evening sky is painted

that dark purple-blue,

I wonder if I’ll look up there,

and again think of you.

Submitted: July 12, 2018

Poetry

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Comments

Joy Shaw

Quite fantastic. Nice imagery. I really like your mention of the dog jumping in the bed and looking up at the moon.

Sun, November 18th, 2018 8:38pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much, Joy. Thanks for stopping by and reading my poem.

Fri, November 23rd, 2018 7:43pm

Matthew D. Hay (Tangible Word)

I typically despise sappy love poetry, but there was a certain sentiment that partially had me throughout the stanzas. A solid, if I were to attribute to it a numbered evaluation, 5/10. What this poem lacks is originality, and it's particularly offensive to begin your poem with a tired cliche such as 'looking up at the same sky.'

I understand no one on Booksie will say a negative thing - because they only comment to have their own work read - so please don't take this criticism too poorly. For, I really did like the lines concerning the dog and the imagery of the sky. This is a solid poem, but the lack of interesting ideas and reliance on a cliche, leaves me feeling somewhat unaffected. Technically, it flows nicely. Overall, I did enjoy this, but more individual metaphors and imagery would've gone a long way, in my deeply subjective, cynical opinion.

Sun, November 18th, 2018 11:01pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for the feedback, Matthew. Aptly put and I definitely see some of those criticisms at a wider lens. Glad you still enjoyed the story.

Fri, November 23rd, 2018 7:44pm