Interviews With Amos Murphy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is an interview with Amos Murphy. This one of the the most interesting interviews I have ever done.

Submitted: February 29, 2016

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Submitted: February 29, 2016

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My Interviews With Amos Murphy

 

Amos- “Quotes are but the teeth of a huge monster eating me.”

Me- “Is that how you feel right now?”

Amos- “When referring to a bucket of crayons, it smells like feces in here.”

Me- “Are you referring to your childhood?”

Amos- “No, candlelight.”

Me- “Are you afraid of candles?”

Amos- “Still smells like baby teeth.”

Me- “Did you find your pacifier?”

Amos- “A BAND OF SABRE!”

Me- “Okay, I think you need to see a doctor.”

Amos- “No! A period ends a sentence!”

Me- “I’m glad you know grammar!”

Amos- “Tastes like a cough-drop.”

Me- “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Amos- “That’s the Odell symbol.”

Me- “On your chair? No, that’s a star.”

Amos- “I finally got a yellow.”

Me- “That’s a piece of corn.”

Amos- “Is it a problem that they’re all stuck under my tongue?”

Me- “No. Wait. No, stop!”

Amos- “Oh, man, no more Odell.”

Me- “You don’t want to sit down?”

Amos- “Back into the hole of doom, called the New York Giants.”

Me- “I personally like the New York Giants.”

Amos- “I had the munchies right now.”

Me- “I’ll go get you new underwear.”

Amos- “It’s japones.”

Me- “Racist!”

Amos- “Well, roughly yes, approximately no.”

Me- “I just asked if you like strawberry or banana.”

Amos- “Apae sides (Aye besides).”

Me- “Oh, sorry. Is that a disease?”

Amos- “Gavin’s son’s name is Fruit of the Loom because that’s his favorite pair of undies.”

Me- “Who’s Gavin?”

Amos- “Fruit of the Loom is the punchline because they’re quality.”

Me- “Oh. Ha ha ha… “

Amos- “Until one day, I died and moved away.”

Me- “Are you talking metaphorically?”

Amos- “Are you a train? ‘Cause you use Steam!”

Me- “Steam is actually a good fuel source.”

Amos- “Old people at weddings always poke me.”

Me- “Why?”

Amos- “I remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think that I can kick this bucket?”

Me- “It’s nice that you play games with your grandpa…”

Amos- “Dude, we’re not having beef stroganoff, okay?”

Me- “I was going to order the salmon.”

Amos- “We’re in the spin-cycle radar!”

Me- “I don’t think that the laundromat has radar.”

Amos- “RhymeZone has it all, from real, to round.”

Me- “No more sponsoring.”

Amos- “Clay.”

Me- “I’m glad you like my present!”

Amos- “Everything.”

Me- “I don’t even know how to respond to that one.

Amos- “Child’s play.”

Me- “Don’t call yourself a child.”

Amos- “Display doomsday.”

Me- “Don’t play games at the table! That’s rude!”

Amos- “Just a little circle of lollipop.”

Me- “Great, now Candy Crush Saga?”

Amos- “I LIKE ACID.”

Me- “This explains all of the odd behavior!”

Amos- “I want to do something about my suitcase resting on my knees.”

Me- “Packing already?”

Amos- “I was gonna say, “Like.”

Me- “Sorry that I interrupted you.”

Amos- “Okay, then just go, fly away like a bird, a hawk, KA KAW!”

Me- “I didn’t know you felt that strongly.”

Amos- “There should be a monument of me, and it should be called, “George Washington”.”

Me- “Okay, okay, I’m leaving!”

Amos- “My grandma gave me a special chain. It has studs in it.”

Me- “Oh, that’s nice.”

Amos- “My dad lives on the Mexican gang border.”

Me- “Oh. I’m sorry. Wait, is that even a thing?”

Amos- “Good ol’ father.”

Me- “Did he die?”

Amos- “I might have a whiff, a whiff, yeah poop and doop.”

Me- “New underwear? AGAIN?”

Amos- “See this water bottle? Now watch it drop.”

Me- “I don’t even, okay, I’m leaving now.”

 


© Copyright 2020 Noah Madox. All rights reserved.

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