When I was growing up I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be caught up in such a mess as I am right now. To think all of this would have been more obvious to me
if only I was a little more religious, but it's too late to dwell on my mistakes. I've got to look into what may happen to me after all this is said and done.
"This is just precautionary, trust me, you're not under arrest." Officer Howard tried his best to make me feel comfortable about the whole situation, but he doesn't know that I know what the future holds for me. I know what the future holds for all mankind, but for now I'm selfish and worried about my own wellbeing.
My mother and brother were to my side while Officer Howard put the handcuffs on me. She was close to breaking down in tears, while he was enraged at the police for doing such a thing. I hadn't done anything to deserve being handcuffed, so why was this happening?
The answer is simple. Everyone thought I was crazy. I had struggled with schizophrenia for years now and everybody, including my own family, thought this was just another one of my episodes. Amongst all the chaos I knew of only three other beings that took what I said to heart. That's because they taught me everything I know. Francis, Baby J, and Mark taught me that I'm more than just living day by day with this illness; I'm caught up in God's climax. His plan to make everything new again, and to put evil in it's place.
The police officers proceeded to escort me throught the hospitals hallways. I was currently in the Van Wert Community Hospital, and they were bringing me to St. Ritas in Lima, Ohio for a physiatric evaluation, but I knew that by the time I lay my head to rest for the night, it'd be too late. Francis had warned me of what would happen if I let the knowledge I had learned from him to slip, or tell somebody else. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.
"Watch your head" said Howard's partner as they guided me through the door of the police cruiser. They were both overweight and must have just finished dealing with the local drunks at the bars because the backseat smelled of alcohol and urine. It was the middle of the night and I was sure these police officers saw me as a lunatic that was no better than the other occupants they deal with on a daily basis.
"What radio station do you like?" asked Howard as we began to move through the hospitals parking lot. "We've got it on 102.1 now, but sense you're not under arrest we're going to try and make this as enjoyable for you as possible."
"98.9 The Bear" I replied. It's the only radio station I listened to. It played rock and roll, and for my entire life the sound of guitars, drums, and loud vocals was the only type of music I identified with. Not only that, but I knew that these last few hours of my life were about to end, and I just wanted to see if God had any more signs to give me on my way out.
"She's a lover baby and a fighter..." I should have known. Dani California was a song I was very familiar with. It's groove and beat was similar to Tom Petty's Last Dance With Mary Jane, but it's lyrics sung a much different story. One that not even the musicians themselves knew. Insperation for this song was struck upon them with a message from God without their notice, and the only ones that knew of this message was me and my three friends.
As the radio played my swan song, I asked the police officers a question. "Do any of you remember the story of Jesus Christ?" I saw them nod their heads up and down. "Well that's how I feel right now." I felt betrayed by my family for sending me to the hospital. The same way Jesus was betrayed, I was as well. The same way Jesus was sent of to be killed, I was as well. It's all a part in God's plan.
I battled with the handcuffs to be able to dig into my left front pocket. Inside I had the note. I looked at it for the last time and began to think about the past few weeks that led up to this...
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