Trying to Find Hope

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is an entry for the "Losing Annie's contest virginity" contest. Anyway It's about a girl Learning to trust and love a boy. then losing it all.
I don't know why I did it, but I did. He was different. I wanted to let him in. I wanted to tell him all my secrets. That's why I pushed him away. - Talon

Submitted: July 25, 2011

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Submitted: July 25, 2011



I don't know why I did it, but I did. He was different. I wanted to let him in. I wanted to tell him all my secrets. That's why I pushed him away. - Talon

Rebecca Talon led a troubled life. She was hurt and broken inside. One man was to blame for that. His name was Edward. Edward was her step dad. He abused her in every way possible. Her mom neglected her, her mom thought every thing was perfect in her make believe perfect world. In the waking world, Rebecca was raped at 11 by Edward and beaten since she was 9. She is now 17 and still this is going on. When she wasn't being beaten by Edward, she'd cut herself.

Rebecca went by Talon in school. She has never had and actual boyfriend. She didn't trust men or anyone in general. She hung out with the school druggies, even though she didn't do dugs. She was a pretty girl, but she didn't flaunt it. She wore simple jeans and a black shirt almost every day. Talon's skin was nicely tanned, since she lived in New Mexico. She had long brown blonde hair that she always tied up. She had big brown eyes, that would stare off into space when she day-dreamed. Talon had friends, but none of them were close enough to get to know her secrets.

David Clark's life was the complete opposite. His life couldn't get more perfect. He had rich parents that gave him everything he could want. He got good grades and was a football quarterback.Girls flocked him. He had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes.Only one problem, his parents made him move to New Mexico in the middle of his senior year. David was happy in Florida.

David's first day

David trudged into third period math, calculus. David couldn't think of a more pointless class. He walked up to the front of the class. A mean looking teacher sat at the desk. She may have once had blonde hair, but now it was greyer than anything else.

David said, "Um, I'm new-"

"-I know who you are. Take a seat in the open chair in the back." She interrupted. David walked to the back. The only open seat was next to a girl with light brown hair and a black hoodie. She was listening to her ipod.

David tried to talk to Talon, but she ignored her. She just turned up the volume on he ipod. All seats in the class were permanent, so for the rest of the year they will have to sit together.Months passed and they never even talked.

2 Months Later

Talon was pressed against a wall and Edward's lips were being forced on hers. It was Saturday. Edward didn't have work and her mom was at work. Edward forced himself on her and every time she struggled, he would hit her.

After he was done, Edward left to go to a local bar. Talon curled into a ball and cried. She pulled out a razor and ran it across her wrist. She didn't want to die really; it was just a way to get it all out. She watched the blood pour out of the cut. Talon looked up to the bed and knew that she couldn't stay in the house right now.

Talon walked down to a park. She sat on a bench and caught a glimpse of her shirt. There was blood all over the front of it, though she didn't care. Someone sat next to her. It was David.

"You know you have blood all over you?" David said.

"Yeah, I know." Talon said flatly.

David looked down and saw that the blood was coming from her wrist. He grabbed it and asked, "Did you do this to yourself?"

Talon ripped her hand back and said, "Why the fuck, do you care?" She stood up to leave.

"You need to go to a hospital." David said. Talon just kept walking away from him.David runs up to her and picks her up. He slings her over his shoulders.

"Dude, put me down!" Talon yelled. People in the park looked at her and went on with what they were doing. David set her down next to the door of a black truck.

"Get in." David said. Left with no choice, Talon got in.

"Just don't take me to the hospital." Talon said, her voice shaking. David nodded. Ten minutes later, they pulled up to a big white house with a red door. It was David's house. "Where are we?" Talon asked.

"This is my house," David said getting out of the truck. He opened the door for her and said, "You don't have to be scared. We'll just clean you up here, if that's okay with you."

"Fine," Talon said still unsure.

They went into the house and she followed him to a bathroom. David took out a first aid kit and picked up the gaze. He took her wrist and wrapped it in the gaze, after put rubbing alcohol on it.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to get you a shirt," David said. When he was gone, Talon took off her shirt and began rubbing her stomach. She was careful not to press to hard down on them. She grabbed a towel, wetted it, and started to wash off the blood.

David walked in at that moment. He was carrying a black button down blouse. His eyes couldn't help but look down from her face. David saw that on her stomach under the blood were bluish purple blotches.

David grabbed her shoulders and yelled, "Who did that to you, Talon?" Talon's eyes started to water and she put her arms up. Talon was getting ready to be hit again. He brought his hand to her face to brush some hair out of her eyes. She flinched at his touch.

David whispered, "I would never strike you. Please, tell me who did that to you." Talon shook her head and started to cry. David instantly pulled her into his arms. It was the first time she had ever been in a man's arms and enjoyed it. David stroked her back the whole time. Talon sobbed into his chest, till she ran out of tears. It almost escaped David's notice that she wasn't wearing a shirt, almost.

They sprang apart when they heard a door slam. Davis said, "It's probably my mom. I'll go talk to her." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. He left the bathroom, leaving Talon there.

She was staring after him with wide eyes. Talon thought the kiss had felt nice, but suddenly she became aware that she was only in her bra. She touched the top of her head, where David kissed, and smiled.

Over the next few months, they become great friends. He sits with her at lunch and they texted all the time. Every time Davis would ask about her family or why she cuts herself, Talon shies away from the topic and starts to shut David out. He learned that if he wants to keep her as a friend, he can't bring up those topics.

One Month before Graduation

It was one month before high school ends. They were at David's house. His parents were out of town. They were in the family room watchThe Notebookon the flat screen. It was the scene in the rain, where they kiss, and saying ‘It’s still not over”.

David leaned over and kissed Talon softly on the lips. It was the first time he ever showed that he loved her more then anything else in the world. It killed him that she would never let him know what was hurting her. David just wanted to project her.

Talon pushed him back. She crawled the farthest away from him the couch could let her. She said, "Don't hurt me." Her voice was shaking.

David's mouth fell open, "What? You thinkI would hurt you?" He sputtered. David thought that it was now or never. He is going to tell her. “I would never hurt you, Talon. I... I love you. I don't want to hurt you.I want to protect you from what's hurting you. I really wish you would tell what that is."

Talon felt something welling up inside her. It wasn't fear or pain. It was something new to her. "You shouldn't love me," was all she said.

"Why shouldn'tI love you?" David said. Every time Talon heard the word "Love" her heart did flips.

”I’m broken inside. Not you or anyone else can fix me." Talon said. She stood up to leave.

"Talon, don't go, please." David said. A tear escaped his eye. Talon didn't look back as she left. If she had, she would have ran into his arms and never left.


The school year went on and Talon avoided David the whole time. Finally, it was over. It was after graduation.

David ran up to Talon and handed her roses. He didn't say anything. He turned around and left. Talon opened the note on the roses.

Dear Talon, Here are some roses from just being your beautiful self. I'm going to California for college. If you ever want to see me, the address on the bottom is my apartment. I love you. -David.

Talon knew then that that feeling inside of her was love. She loved David. That's why she knew she could never go to that address.


Talon's phone was ringing. She picked it up. It was Mrs. Clark. Mrs. Clark said, "Talon, We need you to come to California. It's David. He's in the hospital. He has a tumor in his brain. He's been asking for you. The surgery is tomorrow. There is only a 20 percent chance that he'll live." She started crying.

"I'm coming." Talon said then hung up.

Talon used her savings to buy a plane ticket to California. When she got there she went straight to the hospital. When she got to his room, Talon catapulted herself into David's arms. His parents left the room to give us privacy.

"I love you. I love you. That's whyI pushed you away. And my step dad. He's the one who hurt me. He would rape and beat me." Talon told him. Davis kissed her. This time she kissed him back.

She stayed with him all night. When he went into the operating room, they exchanged, "I love you." Talon was sure that, that would be the last time she'd ever see his face.

David was one of those 20 percent. He lived.

A week after he came back from the hospital, they and sex. It was the first time she had ever enjoyed sex. Talon trusted and loved him.

The next morning at 7David ranout to pick up the ring, he was going to propose to Talon with. Driving back from the jewelers, David was hit by a drunk driver and died on impact.

When Talon found out, she wanted to kill herself. She was stunned for a day or two. She couldn't cry or even move. Then, crying was all she could do. She knew that if she did kill herself, David would hate her for it. Talon kept living. It was a difficult task every day.


Talon pulled on a longsleevedblack shirt and jeans. She pulled her hair into a high messy bun. Talon stepped outside with some money in her pocket and an open road in front of her. She just had to keep walking. She didn't know where she was going or why, but when she gets there she'll know. She's trying to find hope.

© Copyright 2017 notsane. All rights reserved.

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