Hooray for Japan!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
A necessarily offensive, sarcastic anti-whaling poem.

Submitted: July 23, 2010

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Submitted: July 23, 2010

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Hooray for Japan!

What is it with all those big fat whales,

Messing up ouroceans?

Eating all our defenceless krill,

And leaving big fat whale poo-lution.

The much-maligned poor Japanese

Have got the right solution -

Kill all the whales by studying them!

It's their right by constitution!

And since they're already out there fishin',

Let them kill off all the tuna.

For my part, an end to those smelly fish,

Could not happen any sooner.

And while I'm on the topic

Of the things Japanese can do,

Why don't we send them to Africa,

And they can harpoon gorillas too?

And let them get those stupid pandas -

The Chinks can't do the job.

Pandas just eat all our bamboo,

And sit around like black and white minstrel slobs.

Stupid pandas and useless gorillas,

That's what this world needs less of,

And if the Africans can't get rid of black rhinos,

Let the Japanese do the job.

We'll put Japanese whaling ships on wheels,

And send them to Rangoon.

The elephants there won't be king any more,

When they're hit by a Japanese whaling harpoon!

I hope, one day, all people

Will thank the Japanese,

For ensuring that there's nothing left,

To bite us on land or in sea.

And when at last

They finish their tasks,

It's then we can all relax.

And perhaps, with so much time on their hands,

They can harpoon the Jews and the blacks!


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