An Explanation

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
I'm trying to explain "life"

Submitted: October 02, 2014

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Submitted: October 02, 2014

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  First off the best time to think is in a state of indifference. When the mind has no cosmetic emotions to block your full potential to open yourself to realization. Henceforth now isnt the best time for me. But ill do my best to recall how my brain was perceiving everything earlier today. The vast majority of the world thinks I am wrong. Not everyone is like me. Before you say that doesn't matter, let me explain. I'm not afraid to voice myself if you haven't seen that yet. I'm not afraid of people disagreeing with me. Not afraid of being outside the bubble this fucked-up society has created for itself. That's not me. I recalled recently that maybe the common people are so intrigued by dystopian works and book and movies about it for a reason. Because you're living in one and your real, omniscient brain is screaming as loud as it can to make you realize it. But that bubble I mentioned is doing everything in its power to repress that. That's not who I am. I popped that bubble a while ago and have no intention of blowing it up again. Don't get me wrong, I get sucked in sometimes. With the cosmetic life I have, it's difficult to keep out of it. I say cosmetic because its not what defines me. The classes I take, the average in school, my performance in sports, all that, isn't what I am. Maybe it is to others, but not to myself. Hopefully not to the people who really know who I am. Yea I take the hard classes and get the grades and I may look like a "smart kid". But I'm not what ____ is. I'm not what _____ is. I'm not what ____ and ____ and ____ are. I'm not the person to focus on school and grades for succeeding in life. Succeeding isn't being rich and having a Ferrari. Succeeding is being happy, no matter you do or what you are. Succeeding is being the homeless man that shakes everyone's hand with a real smile on his face. Because that homeless guy doesn't give a shit about the outside. He's seen the worst. He's living it for gods sake but that guy, that one guy, is happy. I don't care if I don't get the mansion or the Rolls Royce or the money. I want happiness.  I can't say this to anyone else without them looking at me like I have three heads and spiders crawling out of my eyes. Not many people understand. Hardly anyone. Everyone else is fogged. Minds are thought to be opened to knowledge but that's false. The mind was opened to chemistry, to trigonometry, to geometry. Opened to everything that doesn't matter. And if it doesn't matter, does it actually matter at all? Here's where perspective comes in. The power behind perspective is greater than most can even fathom really. These students and athletes think success is beating the record or having the highest average and getting that scholarship. That's what they know I'm their minds are right. But that's not what your real mind knows. Maybe the better half of the brain is blocking some people from knowledge like this for a reason. Maybe they aren't able to handle it. But I have it and its changed me. Its caused a lot of things, good and bad, to come my way. In the long run, I'm glad it did. The science behind perspective is an injustice. Perspective gives excuses. It blinds people, guides them off onto a road that may not be the best one. I like to think I broke the system. Escaped it. But its true. I don't strive to be a fit-in. I don't strive to be a robot. On the other hand, I don't strive to purposely stick out either. I don't call myself a hipster. I call myself a rebel is anything. I strive to do what should be done, despite what others may think. I'm a rebel of the "normal". A word that was crafted to define what the majority do or act on. But that shouldn't be what normal is. The word itself shouldn't exist in the form it does to pertain to a social lifestyle. There doesn't need to he a normal. A standard. Any requirements. First of all those are all defined by other humans, not you. The problem is that other people are not you. They've been given the illusion that they can sway others whether they realize or not into different perspectives.  I'm a rebel against the world. A rebel against what life is. Its wrong. Its wrong in nearly every way. Yea be happy we live in a " free" country. Try to marry someone of the same sex in Mississippi. See how that goes. Still think it's free? How about go to school with a shirt that reads fuck the system. Still free? Maybe the school will allow you to wear it, but look at how society reacts. Either it puts you in the class of a hipster or a weirdo or somewhere in between. That's fucked up. There shouldn't be classes like that. Even if there are classes, it should put you in the class of an individual. That's an oxymoron because individuality is about not being in a class, or at least having the broad enough mindset to realise you're classifying yourself and be okay with it. On that, yea I'm fine with being classified as whatever someone or everyone may classify me as. I know in my own mind that I'm not of a certain breed that can be out in a group. That's not me.  I know I should be living like this. A lot of the time however the rest of what makes this society up pulls me under and I'll be the first to admit that it gets the best of me sometimes. But thats when my mind isn't in the right place. And to be honest this fucked up world we live in would be the one reason I'd ever kill myself. But you know what? Fuck no. I'm not doing that. Whatever there is out there or isn't out there, be it a god or not, put me through a category 6 hurricane for a reason. I've made it this far. Through the heartbreak. Through the stress. Through the fighting and negativity that goes on in my home. Through the hate people throw at me. Through the failing tests and reprimanding by my parents or by teachers. It's for a reason, and whether it's for something higher we don't know about or not, the reason I know of right now is to open me up. The reason was to break open my skull and let my mind see the world for what it is. For the good and the bad, for the war and the peace, for the love and the hate, for all of it. I feel like I'm outside of this world and god dammit I'm never going back in. Not before something changes. And I need to be the one to change it.  Hell yea stand beside me. Stand with me and fight this war with me. Not a war against the government or the public or any specifics. A war against what everyone calls "life". Fight the war and every battle to change this fucked up world. Scratch that. Fight the war to fix this world. Fix what's been broken from the start.  My mindset also plays a big part to why I want to make music so much. I've come to realize that music moves people. It changes people.People are the biggest culprits of these mental crimes they don't even know they're committing. They let everything hit them like a fatal blow of a bullet into an innocent protester. They look to music for relevance. For a common thought for them to connect to. They all listen to heavy rock and screamo for a reason. They say it's the lyrics. What they don't realize or care about it that not just screaming and heavy metal has meaning behind lyrics. Subconsciously really they don't open up to see that. But them two can be touched by music if that music can penetrate their skulls thicker than the bomb shelter at the White House. It took loud lyrics and instruments to hit them. Hard. Listen to rap music and I promise the lyrics are the same in terms of connections and relevance compared to heavy metal. But they don't believe that because they're not letting themselves believe it. I've noticed that rappers are some of the realest people out there. People rap because its easy to listen to. You don't have to concentrate on the lyrics to hear them. There's no hiding behind heavy guitars or metaphors or vague statements that some people call "deep". Honest. Real. Unedited. All of it is in rap music. Nobody is afraid to say what's real. To say the truth. You just have to find it in people. Like I found it in myself.  I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everything I think about perspective and views could be what's driving me to think this way. Maybe I am wrong. I don't think I am. I know I'm not wrong actually. I know because I have the knowledge of what goes on in life. I understand. Being myself in that state of mind I don't believe I'm being deceived by my own mind. Not anymore at least.


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