Slip Slidin' Away

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is story number two.
This story involves Poohbear and her Mama Candace. It is a hilarious story about just how slippery tile floors can be.

Submitted: July 22, 2009

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Submitted: July 22, 2009

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SLIP SLIDIN' AWAY

Dear girls, this is one of the many stories that need filed in the “Fear This” folder in one's mind.

It is a story about two things that should never be mixed, clumbsiness and tile flooring. Very dangerous items.

Dangerous, yet hilarious.

Since birth, Poohbear has been very ornery. Old Paw and I often joke and say that Pooh was sent here to live among us by the Universe to keep her poor Mother on her toes. A duty that she takes very seriously.

Unfortunately, Pooh inherited the clumbsy gene from the Thompson side of the family.

That's right, that would be my side of the family.

Pooh Gets Down and Dirty With the Tile:

Running around in the buff after her bath, was Pooh's favorite game to annoy her mother with. Never a bath time went by that Candace was not chasing the Pooh down with either the discarded towel or a hairbrush.

So one evening, when Candace was very pregnant with Meme, Pooh began her run in the buff after a bath, game.

Candace, too pregnant to actually chase her down was sitting on the couch holding the discarded towel, yelling Pooh's name over and over and looking very worn out.

Finally, at the end of her patience with it all Candace yells, “ Get your hiney over her now!”

Pooh hearing the serious note in her mother's voice screeched her game to an abrupt halt.

Unfortunately, she screeched to a halt with little wet feet on the tile flooring.

The next thing I know, Pooh is lying belly up on the tiles with a very surprised look on her face.

I'm not sure what it was that put that look on her face. The airborne flight or the abrupt landing on the naked rump. Or maybe, it was the insult of having to have yet another bath.

Pooh having not learned her lesson from that episode waited an entire year before running on the slick tiles again.

Right after Meme was born, Pooh, Mom, and the new baby came for a visit.

I had a huge area of tiled floor right in front of my front door.

Pooh was running all over my house having a ball. Her poor Mother had told her several times to stop with all the running.

Finally, Candace once again yelled, “STOP!”

As soon as Candace yelled stop, Pooh went slip sliding on the slick tiles right out the front door.

When I was writing this story I began to wonder why it was that Pooh always went belly up on floor tiles. Then it occurred to me that there was another little girl named Candace that behaved much the same way.......

Candace was maybe nine or ten years old when these events took place.

Bath time in my house was always a source of great fun for Candace.

I swear I think we kept the makers of Mr. Bubble in business for years.

Paw and I had just re-modeled our bathroom. We had just laid down the most beautiful marbled pink tiles on the floor.

Over and over I told Candace to make certain that she rinsed off all of the suds before exiting the bath tub, as the new tiles would be slippery when wet.

Over and over I told her to lay a bath towel in front of the tub to step out on.

And as kids will be, she listened to exactly none of this.

Because I was one of those over-protective mothers I checked on Candace in the tub. Especially, after the new tiles were laid.

So one evening, I heard Candace in the tub splashing around and went down the hall to check on the goings on.

I opened the door to the usual scene. Mr. Bubble over flowing from the tub and the ever watchful Yoshi, the pomeranian pup, sitting right by the tub.

I swear I gave the girl my usual warnings about rinsing off well and using care when getting out of the tub. Both her and Yoshi gave me the “whatever crazy lady” look.

It didn't take long for bath time to be over when disaster struck......

As soon as the still sudsy Candace stepped out of the tub onto the tiles, she slipped. Doing the naked splits right there in the bathroom.

The bathroom was very small so one leg thumped unceremoniously against the tub the other popped the door to the bathroom open and uprooted both Yoshi and the hallway carpeting. Her naked rump smacked the tile so hard that even Yoshi yelped.

As I stood there surveying the looks of desperation on the faces of both Yoshi and Candace I prayed that one day Candace would have a child that gave her the “whatever crazy lady” look.

And this is why Poohbear is so ornery to this day........

Before I continue I would like to add that no kids were harmed during these unfortunate events. BallBall on the other hand is still recovering from rolling my eyes heavenward and the stitch in my side from laughing so much.

So girls, my dear grandchildren, loves of my life, the moral to this story is: The Mother's Curse really does work. So remember, that one day, you too will have children and they will be 10 times worse than you. And if the Mother's Curse don't get them, the clumbsy gene will.


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