Maybe I'll have my way someday.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
I met a girl and I would come out to the world if it meant being with her.

Submitted: July 21, 2011

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Submitted: July 21, 2011

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We met on a bus ride, on the way to a new place where we would work together. At first I thought, hey she's alright. And obviously a lesbian, haha. And as the days wore on, I dismissed her, as she had an extremely pessimistic attitude, and always brought me down, or simply pissed me off. Later on, however, she came out of her bubble and wasn't such a downer. I'm not sure how we started talking, but we did.

One day, as we were waiting, she was telling me about her girlfriend. Then she asked me if I was single, and I knew she just wanted to confirm that I liked girls too. But I just told her about a guy I had been seeing on and off for about two years. I didn't tell her about the girl that I was with during those off times.

I'm kind of a touchy-feely person, and one day I patted her head as a joke and noticed her hair was extremely soft. So I played with it for a few seconds, then started to move away. She exclaims, "No! Play with my hair more, pretty please!" So I do, and I start scratching her head too. She tells me it feels great, so whenever I saw her the next few days, I would scratch her head. One night I go with her to her room and we end up laying down and cuddling while I scratched her head. We have these night more often, but eventually it dies down.

She has the love of her life visit her and they do their thing. Then her girlfriend comes down and they do their thing. I didn't care at the time because, well, it was just a head scratch and we really weren't all that close yet. At some point, we get roomed together. We continue our little head scratching routine, and I find out her ears are quite sensitive. Now, I love to tease and flirt, so after that, I always played with her ears. One night she couldn't take it anymore and kissed me, hard. That was all I needed to finally fufill my growing desire to have her. Although, I still have yet to have a taste. We hooked up time and time again, but neither of us did anything more than rubbing each other down and of course made out.

We both moved to a new location, and were roomed right next to each other. We grew apart physically as she pursued another girl. I didn't really like it, but at the same time there was nothing I could do. We were quickly becoming great friends, and I didn't want to discourage her from something that was making her happy. But eventually, her and the other girl came to an end, and I was still there, being her friend. All this time, she still talks about the girl from home and I know I don't have a chance. But day by day, we grow closer and closer.

She had a special assignment and had to leave for ten days. By this time, I realize my feelings for her have grown stronger. So to distract myself, I had been entertaining the thought of dating a boy who was really into me. That fell apart rather quickly. When she came back, we realized how much we missed each other and got even closer. She started to really open up to me, and tell me things about her childhood and both of her parents' deaths. She doesn't even talk to her family about her dad, who she was very close with and recently passed away. But she tells me stuff, little stuff about him all the time. And some bigs things about her past, and although not everything she tells me is pleasant, I listen and I love it because she wants me to know stuff about her. She trusts me with the knowledge of the harder times in her life. It may not seem like much, but it means the world to me.

We hooked up in a hotel room while going on a mini-vacation, and it was nice, but I figured it was a once in a while type deal. So after that it was just head-scratches again. For a while, we were fighting over stupid shit, and I knew I was doing it to us and I wanted to stop but I didn't quite know how. Finally, I admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her and I just didn't know how to handle not being able to have her. I told her these things, and ever since, we have been getting along just great.  

We are practically a couple, we just don't have the title. I feel like she would do anything for me. And I would do anything for her. You know how they say girls subconsiously want someone who is like their father? Well, she's it for me. She's smart and organized, money consious and a smart-ass and I just feel safe in her arms. Sometimes I hurt, because I know her heart belongs to The One Back Home. And sometimes I just want to cry because I don't think I'll ever get to experience the extent of her love. She loves me, as more than a friend, I can tell, but I just don't know how much.

Recently, she has been hanging on me more often, holding me tighter and in a more loving manner than just two friends hugging. I left for three days with a group of friends, and when I got back she said, "Don't ever leave me again!" I was gone just three days and we missed each other as if I had been gone for two years. We have everything we need for a great relationship. The attraction is definitely there. The past few nights we have been hooking up hard core. And the thing is, in between makeout sessions, we'll just lay in each other's arms and talk. Just bullshit and laugh and joke and just be happy together. It was in one of these moments she told me, "You would make an amazing girlfriend." It was all I could do to not let her feel my tears. Tears of what exactly, I'm not sure. Burning desire, maybe. Hopelessness, possibly. Hurt, optimism, pain, passion, love, all wrapped up into a few hot tears. She says things like, "I love crazy girls", just a few minutes after she tells me I'm crazy, or "You are just the perfect height! We fit perfectly when we hug. I want anyone I'm with to be your height.", or maybe "I'm so happy I can joke with you! Not many girls want to put up with my sense of humor." and just a bunch of little things that aren't a big deal at all one at a time, but altogether, you'd think I was perfect for her.

Well, I have seven months left living so close to her, and hopefully she will give me a chance. If not, I know I can at least rely on the physical stuff. Maybe it's a little sad, and probably bad for me emotionally, but I'll take what I can get. After all, she is a pretty dominant lesbian, and I know all the right buttons to push to get her started. Raunchiness aside... I love this girl with all my heart. I pray that one day she'll really see just how good for her I can be.


© Copyright 2017 Oliefrijole. All rights reserved.

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