In a State of Mind

One afternoon, the sky was dark and the pavement was stained from a previous rainfall.  I stumbled from block to block, seemingly unsure of my own existence- I was in a daze.  The streetlights glimmered as I threw myself through intersections, searching for an answer.  I had been completely unaware of the people around me. 

The floor creaked as I walked into your home.  As you laid there sleeping, I became unsure of us, of you, of me.  I wasn't sure about many things- in fact, I had become unsure of almost everything.  Surely, I would to make love to you.  As I lowered your sheets, you looked beautiful.  At this point, were you aware of my presence?  I lowered myself onto you anyway, you had always said that you liked it that way.  I didn't think that I would startle you as I'd gently place my lips on yours; it had been so long since I'd done so.  Sometimes I still wonder if you had felt the same way as I did.

I tried not to think about it too much.  I missed you.  I ran my fingers from your neck down to your ankles, your skin allowing every moment of it.  I wondered if you still wanted me as much as I needed you.  As I removed the white linen, I held you in my arms and told you that I needed you now.  We made love with such intensity.  When I finished, I noticed you that looked pale and I became nervous.  

I knew that this couldn't be real, and, without another sound, I kissed you and lifted the linen over your forehead.  You looked peaceful as you laid to rest.