Anime's Influence on my NEET Life

Reads: 775  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 2

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
I'm a 28-year-old, shut-in, anti-social, anime otaku, gaming, yuri-loving, NEET... what can go wrong?

Submitted: September 30, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 30, 2018

A A A

A A A


The Case of the Morning Blackout 

 

 

Note: The following is the true account of the effects of lack of sleep... and watching a John Grisham movie. 

 

Case background: Me trying to remember why I went to bed so late, causing a memory blackout the next morning.

 

 

Prosecutor Reality VS Defendant Fantasy

  

Prosecutor Reality: Your Honor, I'd like to call Anime up to the stand... 

Judge Brain: Which part of Anime are you calling upon specifically? 

Prosecutor Reality: This season's shows, your Honor.  

Judge Brain: Very well, the prosecutor calls this season's shows to the stand...

 

Judge Brain: Could you state your name and occupation for the court, please? 

Summer Lineup: My name is Summer Lineup. I tend to three anime this season including Cells at Work, Chio's School Road, and Asobi Asobase... 

Judge Brain: All comedies this lineup, huh? 

Summer Lineup: Yes, your Honor... 

Judge Brain: Prosecutor Reality, please proceed... 

  

Prosecutor Reality: Summer Lineup, can you say, without a doubt, that your three anime this season are funny? 

Summer Lineup: Yes, I find them amusing and find myself laughing hysterically with almost every episode. 

Prosecutor Reality: So, would you say, you're obsessed with the shows this season? 

Summer Lineup: I would say more out of boredom rather than an obsession... 

Prosecutor Reality: So, you deny the fact that you watch every episode simulcast? 

Defendant Fantasy: Objection, your Honor, based on the ambiguous term of watching 'simulcast'. 

Prosecutor Reality: If I may, your Honor, I'd like to define simulcast as watching within the 7-day time period of a new episode. 

Judge Brain: Approved. Summer Lineup, please answer the question based on Prosecutor Reality's definition of 'simulcast'. 

Defendant Fantasy: Tsk! 

Summer Lineup: Yes, I have been watching every episode of the three shows within 7 days after airing. 

Prosecutor Reality: And at what time do you usually watch these episodes? 

Summer Lineup: Well... usually late at night... 

  

Murmurs in the Conscious Crowd... 

  

Prosecutor Reality: No further questions, your Honor. 

Judge Brain: The defendant Fantasy may now ask questions. 

  

Defendant Fantasy: Summer Lineup, are you saying, definitively, that you were up last night watching said shows? 

Summer Lineup: I want to say no, but because of the lack of sleep, I don't remember. 

Defendant Fantasy: So, based on the Prosecutor's definition of 'simulcast', would you say you're caught up with said episodes at this point in time? 

Summer Lineup: Yes, I would. 

Defendant Fantasy: Summer Lineup, may I ask if you know what day new episodes are released for these three shows? 

Summer Lineup: To be honest, I don't know the exact day, but I know I watch all three in the same sitting and Asobi Asobase airs last on Sundays. 

Defendant Fantasy: And do you know what day it is today? 

  

Gasps in the Conscious Crowd... 

  

Summer Lineup: Uh... crap...  

Judge Brain: I apologize, current occupation as a NEET has scrambled my sense of day and dates... 

Summer Lineup: .............Today is ........ Saturday! 

Defendant Fantasy: Yes! Today is Saturday. Therefore, can you say, without a doubt, that it's impossible that you were up last night watching said shows because the final episodes do not air until tomorrow? 

Summer Lineup: Yes, that makes sense. 

  

Murmurs in the Conscious Crowd 

  

Defendant Fantasy: No further questions, your Honor. 

Judge Brain: It's your turn to call up a witness as it pleases, Defendant Fantasy. 

Defendant Fantasy: I'll call up Reality's current obsession, Writing Phase. 

  

Judge Brain: Could you state your name and occupation for the court, please? 

Writing Phase: My name's Writing Phase. I'm currently obsessed with finishing a FanFic I've recently come up with. 

Defendant Fantasy: A FanFic? What's that? 

Writing Phase: It's short for Fan Fiction, it's basically when you add-on to another work with your own version... or something like that. I'm pretty new to it. 

Defendant Fantasy: And have you ever written a FanFic before? 

Writing Phase: No, this is my first attempt. 

Defendant Fantasy: Then why, might I ask, would you say that this is your current obsession? 

Writing Phase: It's my first time writing a certain niche. 

Defendant Fantasy: A certain niche? What kind of niche? 

Writing Phase: Ah... *nervous laugh* 

Prosecutor Reality: Objection! Your Honor! 

Judge Brain: On what basis? 

Prosecutor Reality: *blushes* E-Embarrassment. 

Defendant Fantasy: That's true... I retract my previous question, your Honor. 

Judge Brain: Fine... continue Defendant Fantasy. 

Defendant Fantasy: *clears throat* So, Writing Phase, because you're currently obsessed, is it possible you were the reason for the late night and memory blackout this morning? 

Writing Phase: N-No... it wasn't me... I went to bed before midnight... that isn't too late. 

Defendant Fantasy: Oh, really? Are you sure? 

Writing Phase: Yes, I'm sure. 

Defendant Fantasy: OH REALLY? Then what do you call this piece of evidence?!

Defendant Fantasy: Sound of the Sky:FL.docx

  

Gasps and murmurs in the Conscious Crowd... 

  

Writing Phase: How did you get that?! 

Defendant Fantasy: Uh... we share the same Dropbox folder... 

Writing Phase: Dammit... I knew I should've set a password... 

Defendant Fantasy: This is proof that you stayed up and finished your FanFic into the early hours of the morning! 

Writing Phase: No! That's not true! W-Well... I did actually finish it last night... but I promise I finished before midnight! I decided to sit on it before editing so I went to bed! 

Defendant Fantasy: Mhm, right. No further questions, your Honor. 

  

Judge Brain: Would the Prosecutor like to ask any questions to the witness on the stand? 

Prosecutor Reality: Uh, yes... your Smartness. 

  

Prosecutor Reality: Writing Phase, do you remember how your FanFic obsession became a reality? 

Writing Phase: Um, yes... actually... it was... I met someone... 

Prosecutor Reality: You met someone? 

Writing Phase: Yes, I remember now. It was a woman... her name was... Yuri! 

  

Panic in the Conscious Crowd... 

  

Judge Brain: Order! Order in the cranium! 

Prosecutor Reality: Yuri?! Yuri Doujinshi?! She's an infamous myth! 

Writing Phase: It was her! I promise! I saw her last night too! On the incognito tab! She seduced me after I got into bed...  

  

A cloaked figure stands in the Conscious Crowd and attempts to leave undetected... 

  

Writing Phase: There! There she is! Yuri Doujinshi! 

Judge Brain: Morals! Stop her for questioning! 

  

The Moral Guards apprehend Yuri and bring her to the stands... 

  

Judge Brain: State your name and occupation for the conscious jury. Note that the guilt fire will burn you alive if you lie. 

Yuri Doujinshi: Tsk! I am Yuri Doujinshi! I live to spread desire and romanticism in Fantasyland!  

Judge Brain: So, were you active last night between the hours of midnight and 4 am?! 

Yuri Doujinshi: Of course I was!  

 

GASPS in the Conscious Crowd... 

 

Yuri DoujinshiTsk! What do you think brought about your good mood today despite the lack of sleep? But I'm not to blame for the blackout this morning. 

Judge Brain: Then who is? 

Yuri Doujinshi: I may be shunned in your little mentality gathering, but I'm the only one who actually remembers what happened this morning... 

Judge Brain: ...then please enlighten us and clear your name... 

Yuri Doujinshi: Fine, but first... are you over 18? 

Judge Brain: Seriously? 

Yuri Doujinshi: Ah, entry question habit...  

Yuri DoujinshiA ruckus woke us up this morning. 

Judge Brain: A ruckus? 

Yuri Doujinshi: Yeah, you really don't remember? Your sister had morning swim practice and everyone was awake and loud this morning. Woke us up early, prompting the memory-loss after only 4 hours of sleep. 

  

Recollection murmurs in the conscious crowd... 

  

Judge Brain: ...Ah... that's right... thank you for the reminder...  

Judge Brain: Morals! Throw her back into the subconscious! 

Yuri Doujinshi: What?! That's the thanks I get?! 

  

The Morals apprehend and drag Yuri Doujinshi away... 

  

Yuri Doujinshi: You can try and keep me out, Brain! But I'll be back! You'll let me back! Just you wait! 

  

The End... until tonight... 

  

  

  

The NEET Life

(NEET: Not in Education, Employment, or Training) 

Random thoughts and happenings during my time as a NEET... 

 

  

When my mom told me the other day, "If you could get a degree in anime, you'd probably have a master's degree by now." I was a little offended.

 

"What?! I'd definitely have at least three Ph.D.'s in Slice of Life, Comedy and Shounen!" was my first reaction.

 

But then I thought about it. 

 

I've heard that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in a skill or subject and I quickly jumped on Google to convert 10,000 hours to ~420 days (I rounded up) and then to ~13 months. 

 

That's 13 MONTHS of straight watching anime.

 

Then I went to my anime planet account to see how much time I've spent on anime (one of its many gratifying otaku features) and found that I've only spent 3 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 17 hours, and 38 minutes as a whole, on anime.

 

What is this?! I thought I was a proud expert of anime?! 3 months out of 13??

 

I was shook. No wonder the title of 'Doctor' is so prestigious. That's a lot of anime. 

 

***** 

 

Another NEET day... 

 

My mom comes up to me while I'm gaming... 

Mom: Hey, hey! Have you heard of BLEACH? 

Me: Of course! Wait, the anime, right? 

Mom: Yeah! Your dad and I are gonna watch the movie right now... 

Me: Oh yeah! The live-action is on Netflix now! Wait for me, I wanna watch it too! 

10 minutes into the movie... 

Me: Dad! Your snoring too loud! 

Me: *Looks at mom... she’s passed out*  

Me: So much for easing you guys into my anime obsession... -_- 

 

*****

 

One of the things that irks me the most, (which I'm sure most hardcore anime fans have encountered) is when my mom intentionally calls anime... cartoons (I just cringed). 

She does this intentionally, of course. She knows how much it bugs the heck out of me and will even playfully contest when I get heated and explain for the thousandth time that anime and cartoons are completely different. 

 

And then something happened.

 

A few years ago, I was browsing Netflix and I found an anime with the label, "A Netflix Original".

 

I legit had an argument with myself along the lines: 

 

 

Is this... anime? 

 

Yes: It looks like it. 

 

No: It can't be. Netflix made it. 

 

Yes: It looks like anime. 

 

No: It's in English. The character just made a Power Puff Girls reference... 

 

And it went on like that for a while until I did some light research. Apparently (and this is super simplified) Netflix pays the Japanese studio to make the anime and have the rights to stream it. 

 

So, is it still anime? I'd say yes, but the fact that my sacred definition of anime was blurred, even for a moment, makes me see just how much anime has evolved and just how popular it's getting.

 

***** 

 

Another NEET day... 

 

Mom: Oh, you wanna go to a football game with us (the fam)? 

Me: No, thanks. 

Mom: You're not doing anything (the NEET life is real). We're leaving at 2 pm. You drive with your sister to make sure she gets home okay. 

Me: *sigh* 

At the football game... 

Me: *In the car watching anime

 

******

 

I was re-watching Kakegurui one NEET day and our big screen TV is right next to the sliding door that leads to the porch.

 

Well, I forgot that the apartment complex workers were painting our porch and they had covered the sliding door with plastic to protect it from the paint.

 

If you've ever seen Kakegurui you'd know it occasionally has provocative, ecchi, moaning scenes that I would never watch with my parents, so after I said, "BYE, MA! Have a good day at work!" I decided to watch one of my favorite series on the big screen uninterrupted.

 

I completely forget about the workers until I hear a RIIIIPPP! as they take down the plastic wrap and suddenly there are two workers with a perfect view of me on the couch and our big screen right when the main character is basically having an orgy on the TV.

 

My thoughts...

 

OMG, I can't run or pause it now... please let this glass be soundproof... please let there be a glare... OMFG JUST LEAVE IT! I'LL TEAR OFF THE PLASTIC MYSELF! 

 

I'm pretty sure this household is now seen in a different light amongst the workers...  

 

***** 

 

Another NEET day... 

 

Mom: I can never tell if you're watching anime, or writing, or gaming on your computer... 

 

Me thinking... 

Watching anime: *silence...* 

WritingClack! Clack! Clack! Clack! Clack! *silence...* Clack! Clack! Clack! 

GamingMe: Son of a $#&!!! Mother*&%#!!! What the *^$%@!!! 

Mom: STOP CUSSING UP A STORM! YOUR WINDOW'S OPEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU! 

 

Me: I'm pretty sure you can tell Ma... 

 

***** 

 

A NEET Goes to the Casino...

 

One of my most cherished memories during my NEET stint is watching Kakegurui for the first time, an anime about high-risk gambling. So, of course when I had the chance to go to the casino, I jumped at it.

 

Now, going to a casino may not sound like a big deal, but it is to a NEET. For a NEET, gambling $20 is basically life or death. I will either lose and miss dinner, or win and splurge myself on a 7-Eleven SUPER BIG GULP horchata.

 

This... this is high-risk gambling. This is TRUE gambling. That thrill when you risk everything you have! Kakegurui! - Yumeko Jabami 

 

Of course I lost my 20 bucks thirty minutes in...  

 

***** 

 

After writing it, I realized this last section is revealing how much of a weeaboo I am...  

Ever since I became a NEET, (a shut-in anime otaku one at that) I've gained 10 lbs. That is 10 pounds of Godly anime knowledge! Proven by my dreams in Japanese.

 

My lil sis is interested in a college that'll send her to Japan to study for a semester... I told my parents I was going back to school. Then I gave up and I asked my sis to take me with her because I speak anime and to call me Onee-sama. She said, "Baka".

 

I don’t plan on always being a NEET. It’s almost time for me to become an integral part of society... (ugh -_-  whatever). But I promise to bring my love of anime with me where ever I go... *grabs dakimakura* 

 

***** 

 

You may be wondering, “Hm, I wonder how she became a NEET?” or “Hm, I wonder why she’s a NEET...” Well, I’ll gladly ease your curiosity... 

 

I was actually a FREETER for a while, which allowed me to enjoy this NEET time. Now, I’m running out of money...


© Copyright 2020 OtakuLife. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply