Short snip of starter to drama novel

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
So I have not yet finished any piece, but I am working on a drama novel, that will hopefully be very long when finished. I have completed one paragraph of my first chapter and am hoping to get some response to it. I want people to be honest, because if I am not good enough, I want to know I am not good enough.

Submitted: January 27, 2013

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Submitted: January 27, 2013

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Chapter 1 – The hospital

16th January, 2013. This exact, precise date is leaving dark trails of anguish and agony in my mind. The horror, the pain and the memories, they won’t leave. No matter how hard I try, how much I try to grasp the meaning behind it; the significance of this date vanishes. Everything is blank. The pain is collectively becoming worse and worse, each passing moment, it heightens. As I lie on the hospital bed, there is a million things racing through my mind; how did I get here, why am I here, what has happened to me? I attempt to twist my head to the side, searching for any familiar faces, talk to somebody, and help get me out of this mess. Nothing happens. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the reason why movement in my neck is disabled. A neck brace. A cold, dark shiver runs down my spine and a cold, grey tear slides down my cheek.  What has happened to me? I try not to panic, and try to recite my most recent memory... my graduation. I remember seeing the smile on my mums face, the sense of proudness and success on my dad’s face. My parents, where are they? My parents mean everything to me; they are always there for me, supporting me, caring for me. But why are they not with me when I need them the most. Right now, I really, really need them. Minutes pass, minutes where I lie in silence, still trying my hardest to get behind this horror tale, and learn what has happened since my graduation. I move my eyes gently towards the door, squinting so I can just about decipher the number on the door. Ward 16. I am in Ward 16. Immediately, on top of the mass collection of thoughts and feelings lingering in my puzzled mind, something startles me. If I am located in a hospital, and I am in ward 16, how come I can’t see or hear anybody, for the last thirty minutes I have been lay here. It is all getting too much, I need to know, so I shout.
‘Hello, is anybody here?’ I shouted.
No reply, no movement, nothing. I try to move different parts of my body, but once again, I am trapped. Eventually, to my absolute relief, a middle aged man enters my ward, wearing a long white doctors coat and looking extremely calm.
‘Hello, are you Daniel, Daniel Lambert?’
Daniel Lambert, that’s me. I am 22 years of age and I have just come out of my final year of education. Or at least that’s what I can remember. I was never a popular kid, nor was I one of the kids who had no friends, I was in-between. I am a tall, scrawny figure, so I do not imagine whatever happened to me had to have too much force behind it. My mind is doing it again, I call it spiralling. I think of several things, pointless things, when I have been asked one simple question.
‘Yes that is me, what is going on? Why am I here? What happened to me? Why can I not remember anything?’ I recited, fear evident within my voice.
‘Relax as much as you can, and I will explain everything in a few moments’ said the doctor.
‘My name is Edward and I will be your doctor for your stay here in the next few weeks.’ He said.
What must have happened to keep me here for several weeks? Is it serious? Does my family know what has happened? My mind began to spiral out of control, thinking of what might have happened to me. Several theories pop into my head; Animal attack, car crash, drunken fight. The list is endless, anything could have happened. Again it is all getting too much, I want to get out.

 

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