The Declaration of Later Fools!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
An assignment I had to complete for my world history class. Basically a modern version of the Declaration written much less politely.

Submitted: September 25, 2018

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Submitted: September 25, 2018



Dear King George: 
Former ruler of the Colonies,
Together we have forged
A long list of our injuries. 

First let us point out
A few things to our necessity -
The rights you disallowed -
Our Life, Liberty, and Property!

As a ruler you sucked. 
It's the honest truth good sir. 
But you've allowed us to construct
Severl excuses for our anger. 

It started with the taxes - 
The Stamp Act to name one.
It went against our practices
And left our society undone. 

Your red coats were impolite
(And that is putting it nicely). 
They had an endless appetite
And left our pantries next to empty. 

Let's talk about the government: 
Our lack of representation to be exact. 
You offered us no acknowledgement. 
That, my friend, is jacked. 

We tried to make it known:
The extent of our unhappiness. 
That's why your tea was thrown
Into Boston Harbor's nastiness. 

It was petty, we admit. 
But let's make one thing clear;
Your tea smelled worse than armpit.
Its absence deserves a cheer. 

But instead of celebration 
You closed our harbor down!
There was zero consideration
Towards our society's break down. 

So, King George, our friend. 
We've come to a conclusion
We've decided to defend
Our rights and their distribution.

We don't want your rule no more.
We're the United States now, son. 
And we're going to restore
The independence we have won. 

As a tiny little side note
We're not gonna drink your tea. 
Our caffeine intake we will devote
To a new drink we call coffee.

© Copyright 2019 P.J. Bomre. All rights reserved.

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