Tragedy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The short history of a man with a bleak life.

Submitted: March 10, 2008

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Submitted: March 10, 2008

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Tragic Comedy
 
Dr. Lenkin Van VensionBurgerBakon (with a k) the 16th (first name Vincent), was born on a warm sunny Sunday, with a single cloud floating in the sky. The year was 1947. No one can recall the month, though it was sunny and warm so I’m guessing June, July, or August, unless it was an out of season warming period in January, which is most often chilly…
Back to Dr. Bakon (with a k).
His childhood was a bleak one. Because of his obscure and difficult to spell and pronounce name he received grotesque, horrifying, terrible, and just plain scary names from the bullies at his school of 200 students.
Examples being: BoogerBacon (with a c), Bacon Burger with a side order of fries, and Flyeater, though he had never harmed a fly in his life.
But he grew, in an unmistakably, upward direction.
He learned the harmonica and found musical joy in his heart as he played, letting the notes hit stranger’s ears. But sadly his troubles didn’t end. He would not go onto become a Harmonica legend in the Harmonica hall of fame, which is where we all know, the well known Harmonica players go.
Money was becoming an issue. Living off of 3 dollars or so from his “gigs” wasn’t working in his favor. So he decided to put himself into the business community…by working at McDonald’s as cashier and part time fry cook when Frank was away.
But his success truly started one night, not unlike the one the one we shall experience tonight. He was busy washing his uniform in his washing machine when a thought occurred to him.
Why didn’t his socks match?
One black and one an off white color, dirty, like muddy snow.
“Truly Peculiar,” he would later write in his unauthorized autobiography called: “FlyEater: The Chronicles Of.”
This observation led to a truly well thought out investigation, of his dryer which stood next to his washing machine, as most do.
The dryer was the obvious culprit. To him, at least.
The investigation took weeks until finally he decided to confront his hardware.
Upon sticking his head into the machine…he died.
 
 
 


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