Fallin in love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Complete cotton candy for the brain but never the less cute. Wanted to try a lighter fluffier style with this one might have over done it a bit lol. Its about wanting something so badly and then you get it and you realise its not really what you want or need. Enjoy

Submitted: April 18, 2007

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Submitted: April 18, 2007

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Falling in Love

7th January

Goal number one Get a boyfriend. Goal number two, keep boyfriend. Goal number three, make him fall in love with me. Goal four, fall in love with him. Goal five pass Grade 10. Well there they are Diary dear my five goals for the year and I think they are good solid goals your average sixteen year old teenage girl should have don't you? I'm so excited diary I can't wait for this year to begin and it's just 4 days to my birthday I can feel the magic in the air it's a tangible presence lightening my heart and bringing me closer to happiness. Sweet Sixteen and never ever not once been kissed here I come. Oh diary I have so much pent up energy I'm so excited now all I have to do is find that guy the one the only, lucky male that is going to be MY boyfriend. I can't wait. Boys watch out Amanda Hayworth is on the hunt!!!!!

Love you always darling diary Amanda

 

2nd February

Sorry I've taken a while to write diary but I've been soooooooo busy you wouldn't believe it. My birthday was such fun I got the most gorgeous gifts. Its official diary I'm 16 can you believe it? I barely can. All my girlfriends came over with a couple of guy friends (I'm sorry to say diary but I haven't found the perfect male for the esteemed position of my BoyFriend) but back to the party it was such a gorgeous day the perfect day for a pool party and the perfect opportunity for me to show off my new pretty pink and white bikini and not to mention my absolutely gorgeous tan. Let's keep this between you and me diary but I looked great. Everything went perfectly it was one of those rare days where everything is designed to suite your own happiness like the worlds in perfect alignment and nothing can possibly go wrong. Oh but dear diary I still haven't met him and time moves fast. I'm so anxious diary I wish he could just appear. Oh dearest of all diaries I want to know the where and the why, the who and the how and I'm so very impatient diary. I want it all to happen now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luvvies Amanda

 

1st March

Oh my gosh diary what news I have for you today you will never ever believe it. Ok deep breath here it comes I hope your sitting diary this could be explosive ok ok here it is, I AMANDA HAYWORTH has found......................the one.................the only.....................................TRISTAN EVERWRIGHT. Oh diary he's perfect for me with just the right amount of charm good looks and brains. I met him through Kelly while I was at her house this weekend he's her cousin and never before has anyone felt so right. I just know he's the one. Well least to say I started charming him at once but in an inconspicuous way going by the age old tradition of guys only want what they cant have. It was such fun diary but I was a little nervous at the same time. He's only a year older than me but he's very clever and teasing him is so entertaining. I don't think he quite knows what to expect from me but I can tell he's hooked diary I just know it. Now all there's left to do is reel in the catch.

Amanda

 

16th March

Well diary this is just a quick note to let you know I've done it he's taken the bait and asked for my phone number. I told you I'd do it and I did. Big smiles for me diary I'm on my way to finally getting a boyfriend.

Amanda

 

10th April

Before I get into my news diary I just realised I haven't even described Tristan to you yet. Well he's about a head taller then me with an athletic build. He has sandy brown hair that's always falling into his eyes making him flick it back with a shake of his head in that adorable way of his. His eyes are a dark brown and always seem to have an intense expression until he smiles oh! and diary his smile is so warm and friendly you cant help but like him. F.Y.I all the above and more is mine yes diary you heard me loud and clear I officially have a boyfriend by the name of Tristan. Oh its finally happened goal number one is in the bag and goal number two is almost definite. You can't believe how happy I am diary, it's unexplainable it's like a whole other world has been opened up to me and I can't wait to explore it. The future looks so bright.

 Be happy for me diary.

Yours on her way to falling in love, Amanda

 

12th April

Oh diary I don't know what to say I'm so confused just two days ago I was floating on a bubble of happiness and now that the bubbles deflated a bit I'm at a loss as to what I should feel. Perhaps I should begin at the beginning. Well tonight was my very first date with Tristan and everything was as magic as it possibly could be. I went over to his house at seven and although I had just expected a casual evening I had gone all out on my looks and was happy with what I had achieved. I walked into his house and met his parents who were both very friendly and seemed to like me well enough at that moment I thought what could be more perfect and then he took me outside where he had set up a picnic and diary never before had I seen a picnic such as this. There was a big fluffy blanket lane under a quaint gazebo with rose petals sprinkled on it, a huge picnic basket to the side of the blanket overflowed with gourmet sandwiches and fresh fruit. Mounds of pillows big and small where scattered on the blanket, never had anything looked or felt so romantic. As I stood gazing at what he had created he came up behind me and slipped his arms around me and handed me a single red rose, clichéd I know but highly effective he then led me to the picnic blanket where we ate and chatted for a long time. But then the moment came the moment that every teenage girl dreams of, her first kiss and diary everything was so perfect it felt as though time stopped and everything was in perfect accordance until he leaned over and kissed me oh diary never before has there been such an anti climax when he kissed me I felt absolutely nothing no fireworks or starbursts not even a twinge of contentment just nothing. How can something so perfect turn to nothing in a matter of seconds?

Yours in infinite confusion,

 Amanda

 

22nd May

Well diary after my last entry I decided to not get so anxious about it. I just figured that maybe in time I'll grow more attracted to him. In the mean time I have a sweet caring amazing boyfriend who I get along with so well. Not only is he my boyfriend he's one of me closest friends and he's a good guy diary really he is. He's the one I just know it he has to be...

Yours reconciled, Amanda

 

14th June

Oh darling diary best of friends and keeper of secrets I'm so very very unhappy. Thinking about it I should be ecstatic, happy beyond compare but I'm not diary I'm sad and so very confused. You see dearest diary today Tristan told me he loved me yes diary not L.U.V but L.O.V.E. Goal number three achieved oh but diary goal number four is nowhere near being accomplished. When he told me he was so self conscious and adorably embarrassed, but diary it was so very unexpected, all I could do was run and diary that's exactly what I did coward that I am. I went home and wept the whole afternoon all the while my home phone and cellphone never stopped ringing and I didn't have the courage to answer knowing that it was him. For the whole afternoon I wept and raged at the unfairness of it all until I finally saw the truth and the light. I do love Tristan truly I do but I do not love him in the way a girlfriend loves a boyfriend. I love him as a dear and most amazing friend. I love him as the brother I always wanted. I loved him fiercely and wonderfully but I do not love him in the way he wants me to love him the way of a girlfriend. I now know what to do diary dear I have to break up with him it will hurt and take courage but he deserves it and so do I.

Yours for once defined

Amanda

 

20th August

Well diary it's done it took me some time to do it but I finally worked up the courage and told him. It was just as hard perhaps even harder as I thought it would be and it hurt oh diary how it hurt. To see him looking at me with that pleading expression in his eyes begging me to rethink seeing his hurt and anger when I said I wouldn't oh how it hurt diary. But deep down in a place I never knew existed I know I did the right thing and my life and his will be the better for it. At the moment he's so very angry and I don't think we'll be talking much for awhile and diary that's going to be the hardest. He knew me in a different light to everyone else he was my friend my confidant my brother, the person who walked in when the world walked out. Losing his friendship will be the hardest thing I will ever do. But where there's a will there's a way.

Yours hurt but in recovery, Amanda

 

15th October

Well diary it's been a while I know but I've been busy exploring Me for once. Me and Tristan are getting there he still carries some resentment and we have a long way to go but we're getting there. Besides isn't anything that has significance worth waiting for. I've been on a journey diary truly I have. I'm not sure it was a journey of self discovery or just a plain old normal journey. But I'll tell you something diary I've travelled far and wide searched and discovered, sought and found, grown weary but persevered. And I've done it all by myself diary and I'm proud of where I've been and where I'm going. But I'm most of all proud of what I discovered; all the while I was searching for love wanting desperately to fall into that tender emotion called love and you know darling diary of my heart I have.

I fell in love with life.

Yours on the road to who knows where

Amanda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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