what could hav been...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
just one of those days where you feel a little down, and you just write the first few words that enter your mind...

Submitted: November 30, 2008

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Submitted: November 30, 2008



i've  just been sitting here all night, looking out my icey window,

into the cold rainy night, thinking about you... and not for the first time.

i no we both said it was the end, and that we should both move on, but i just won't let myself.

i remember how on cold nights like this, we used to curl up together on your great grandmas green arm chair beside the fire.

you used to wrap your big strong arms around me,to keep me warm and safe. 

and sometimes we even cuddled under my favorite quilt.

but now that quilt just hang lazily on the lounge, collecting dust.

i think about how you promised me, that we would be together forever,

but i guess you never thought that you still loved her.

 i feel your ring hanging from my neck, ice cold, like the rain racing down the glass, but you insist i still where it.

i take another shot of whiskey, to try stop the hurt.

i've hit the bottle pretty hard since you left.

it helps me sleep most nights.

other nights though, i wake up, thinking it was all a dream,

untill i roll over and see your side is empty.

as i hear the thunder rumble off in the distance, i shudder, and wrap my arms around myself,

rembering how you used to hold me at night.. the way you used to kiss me..

i know i'll never feel you hold me again.. or kiss me again..

god how i miss your touch..

i miss the way you used to smile at me. i miss the sound of your voice.

i miss the way you used to laugh at the strangest things,

i miss the way you could always make me smile no matter how i felt.

how i wish you'd make me smile again..

i miss the way we used to stay up talking on the phone

about absolutely nothing and absolutely everything for hours at a time.

i miss the way i used to be able to tell you exactly how i feel..

but now i can't tell you anything because i'm not ment to love you anymore.

but out of everything.. the thing i miss the most...

is the way you used to say "i love you" and actually mean it..

i just wish i could hear you say it one last time.

i don't know whats wetter... my cheeks from these tears, or the acres of forrest outside.

i'm strong enough to admitt, i lay awake most nights, thinking about you, thinking about what could have been, if i never drove you back to her,

if i'd given you the attention you deserved..

if i'd bothered to tell you i loved you to your face,

this hurt is all my fault.

i know you still care about me, that's why i want you to know,

that everyday... it's getting better.. i hurt less,

 but we all breakdown sometimes.. exspecially on nights like tihs.

i know you love her, more thn you'll ever love me,

but do you think, if it doesnt work out,

that you'll come back to me, and we can try for what could of been?

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