To have anticipated the ascent
of my internal locus to its present position
would've been… impossible?
I say not (as very few things are denotatively infeasible)…
'unlikely' carries the harmonic, musical tune
of connotative correctness-
had even the world's
most bewitching psychics or
most masterful mathematicians or
most cutting-edge experimentalists
guessed where I would now be,
based solely on the me of yesteryear,
each and every man would have guessed wrong.
I walk away - a heart-changed person
by the yearlong cumulus of resplendent remnants -
taking in stride my leave,
my feeling of abandonment
of a year in the life gone forever-
the first to have felt like a year in my life,
the first to have felt like a year I will miss.
This was the year I did anything of substance,
a year where in the mirror that never fabricates
shows a change outward due to a change inward.
It all began with nervous introductions
and concluded with heartfelt goodbyes,
with a carriage of friendship
picking up and dropping off
acquaintances along the way;
those few who remained till the very end
were destined to become most invaluable: lifelong friends.
The year inaugurated itself
with political ambivalence on all fronts
and ephemeral stances,
capricious like the ever-changing winds of public talk;
and it ended without confusions or uncertainties
but an autonomous young man of his very own young opinion-
on gay marriage, abortion,
and life's so many other lingering little questions
that in actuality prove to be stealthily so grand.
Entering on unbroken ice-
made from the waters of communal alliance-
a man had even found home in someone else's body.
I had never known homogeneity
to those my age of the opposite sex;
my first of so many firsts,
the initial embrace, interlocking and intertwining
of two disparate individuals bonded in angelic accordance.
A mere moment into this new year, the bubble popped.
A being, innocent and yet ignorant,
unstained by love and other things,
emerged a tyro at life;
this creature pure white was painted with life's brush
in the colors of pastels that shimmered and glittered,
reflecting love, friendship, society, and ultimately growth.
The year is gone; the boy, I, now a man,
has gained the most significant of important insights:
what I want.
For once in my life, I had a choice;
because of this newfound freedom,
akin to the one our forefathers had so long fought for
(followed by the men with night-colored skin
and the peoples populating the fairer sex),
I had liberty enabling reform.
I changed my life.
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