Ongoing Updated Notes for an Article - On My Life in the United States

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
I want to mention that my race is called "white" in the United States and that I have no ethnicities that may be American, such as American "black" (I am not sure if the word is popular or not, still) or Indian or Native American. My father told me my race is Caucasian and Anglo - and that is what it is until someone proves him wrong. Why would anyone in the United States keep lying about who I am and what my race is? I believe it is because massive theft (including of my freedom as a person and my personal intellectual work) takes place every second of every day and night. My emails, mail and all communications as well as money and deposits, gifts are stolen before I ever get them, or receive them. This has been true for all my life, with very small pockets of time (usually during public "enslavement" or slavery attempts or torture of me) as the only time I hear from the "real" world that must exist somewhere.

Ms. Patricia Louise McGurk

patricialouisemcgurk@yahoo.com is my current email account and address

Some of my writing includes the following poems, comments and communications to a family member:

The Wind Must Blow You Away
Written by Patricia Louise McGurk
[April 22, 2015 in Seattle, Washington State at the local Starbucks on Second Avenue in the “Downtown Area” or “Belltown” [Note © (Copyright) 2015]

The wind must blow you away
You’re so small she said to me as a child
It gets better I promise you
One day your legs will be
big and strong like mine

All the women were big and strong
When I was a little girl
Leaning over me with big sandwiches in their hands
Sometimes even though it was rarely
There were no men in my world
Not really any adults at all

Do you want to feel my thighs? She asked me
In the daylight
Will it make you stronger to feel them?
You are so small and tiny
One day you won’t be little any more
I promise you that it gets better
You are so small

When they are around
Women overtake you as a little girl
You feel they might not leave or abandon
You
They crowd you with energy that you could
Become addicted to
Take away your loneliness
And poof!
They are gone
Not even a memory any longer
as there is Still
Only You
Alone

They said I was singing in the wind
As a little girl in Alexandria, Virginia
And people heard me looking for myself
But singing in the wind alone










Over My Shoulder
Written by Patricia Louise McGurk
[April 22, 2015 in Seattle, Washington State at the local Starbucks on Second Avenue in the “Downtown Area” or “Belltown” [Note © (Copyright) 2015]

I was a little girl who looked back
My entire time as a child
I looked back over my shoulder
To see the people
And their lives
As I walked away from them
Alone.
For Years.
In the United States not really
America
But located in the hemisphere
Of the Americas

This writing (and poems plus emails I have written and sent) is a constantly updated draft for a possible article I am writing, as well as a book about my life I may publish, as I am not certain if it is a good idea -- as well as a compilation of my notes and communications to my family. PLEASE PROTECT MY PRIVACY AND INCLUDE SOMEWHERE IN THE WASHINGTON POST OR OTHER PUBLICATIONS - I AM THE PERSON WHO SURVIVIED TORTURE IN PUBLIC IN WASHINGTON, D,C, AT MACPHERSON SQUARE, "FREEDOM" PLAZA, THE "SKATEBOARD PARK", FRANKLIN PARK NEAR THE IBM BUILDING AND OTHER LOCATIONS ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO === Ms. Patricia Louise McGurk (patricialouisemcgurk@yahoo.com is my email address although I don't receive any emails as they are all stolen before I get them in my email "Inbox".


I felt nearly dead but I was alive as I remember sitting in a room labelled "CityU of Seattle Library, looking at rows of White Cubes with my books in them and I was not a vegetable in a com a like they said to each other. The people around me had contempt for me and I wondered again if this was real Genocide.


"Park her here", the woman said, "Park the 'Sufferer' (her term) here.God, why did I end up with this? What is it, a Vegetative or Vegetable? Who is Patricia L. McGurk, anyway?"


In Washington, D.C. at the Martin Luther King Library, a man calling himself "the President" ordered, "Put its head here," and the person who worked for him leaned my head on the wall as I stood up (near a photo display of the Civil Rights Movement that I tried to explain to him may have been mine or that I had supported the work to end Segregation in the American South for his race, but he refused to listen to me and it was very hard to speak.


I was near the free computers the 15-minute express emails on computers I believe I had given to the library I had personally built not far from the MacPherson Square-Franklin Park-Skateboard Park or "Freedom Plaza" "torture area". It normally was called the Metro Center stop across the street from the large Catholic Charities stone building I had paid for and built as a child, connected to the Church I thought I owned but never did own anythiing in the United States. No matter if I paid for it, designed the architecture and subsequently built the institution such as the American Publi Libraries - they stole everything and every ounce or particle of credit for the work involved.


"We knew we had a Live Victim, and we proceeded reagrdless or anyway", someone stated perhaps to me in a hearing, I am not certain as I am a victim of horrib le, brutal assaults and murders since that time. It may have been an international conference in Geneva or Vienna, Austria - I am not certain as I was kidnapped as well and brought back to the United States, I believe, to be murdered, stolen from further and tortured publicly in the nation's Capitol area as well as in other states (although Washington, D.C. is a territory, it remains the real capital of the Nationb, the United States of America.


What they do in homeless shelters if put all your things or possessions in cubes or big plastic bags, or they make you do it yourself. They may make you sit in a cube "on display", a bubble in a public park or with actual gas, which reminds me of the "Euthanasia Bubble" from my childhood - a public murder in the hospital I believe I owned or own - it may have been the Georgetown Hospital in Washington DC.

A Poem - he or she said this
March 20, 2015 Notes by Patricia Louise McGurk
he or she said this (not he/she)
We were children. I’m not sure or certain who I am. (Someone’s brother or sister said To this day I am not certain.)

I used to identify my father by touch as a child
By the feel of his strong chest
And the smell of his face as I reached up to hug him

Dearest Ada, What good news it is to read how well you are, and how much better your life is since you made such a good decision for yourself to rent a room in a more independent and suitable environment (for you as a single, older intellectual and person) than Shannon's family house with so much stress of a new baby and all (especially with the stress the nation is facing and how we are all impacted by the horrors unaddressed by the leaders of the United States. Horrors in some of our personal lives that never gets mentioned until it all adds up to public, monstrous crimes such as I suffered.....and perhaps, you, as well.

What a good idea to wear sunglasses. They didn't want me to wear sunglasses as a child as they felt it would weaken my vision, but I think it is a good idea for now. Less clarity and more privacy promotes something more like the natural state I had in northern Virginia where I had peace of mind (in spite of the atrocity crimes that never ended but were less aggressive while I worked on my writing and childhood conflicts I wanted to resolve as an older adult.


The sunlight can be very bright and cause stress to my eyes as someone trying to get over blindness that they thought I would have for life (do you remember? I was thinking about how you added my name for congregation prayers at the National Cathedral and how my eyes improved within one week of their praying for me. Do you remember? -- but if people are aggressive on the sidewalk one needs as much visual clarity as possible to stay alive to avoid their brutal attempts to knock me down as I try to walk with my walker.

I love you, too. I am better and making decisions that will empower me to make the right decision about where to live.


Your Daughter,


Patricia Louise McGurk

Dear Ada, You sound great. Thanks for the email with the excellent suggestions - I do need to rest as the energy here is weird - always with the concealed violence and predatory men around me. It never ends and the racial part is always near me in men who "arrive" as soon as I go to any destination and crowd me, no matter where I am with few exceptions. This has taken place nationally, and I was warned about business takeovers through men not of our race and background in businesses and some employment or social service, humanitarian-focused agencies, where I have done "volunteer" work (in the sense of offering my "free" advice of how to build effective services) over the years of my life.

People have followed me around (many are top-level people all trying to "end"crimes, I was told, from various walks of American and International life in the world - for years and are using me and other people forced into the limelight of ridicule and surveillance-based media, with local gossip and hate crimes proliferating and giving "permission" to local criminals (many call "death squads") to commit gender and race-based crimes of various types of aggression, theft, and harassment.

I love you, and will write later. You really sound great, like your old self except a little worried, but back into something, I hope, that more resembles yours and our old ways and way of life in Northern Virginia. Make certain that you don't lose your privacy.

I am feeling better than I did since I was poisoned, I believe. I am eating well, and I hope to find a better place to live as soon as possible. I really can't bear the thought of being here another two weeks until I have more money, but this may be all I can manage since the country has become a "crime state" in every city and state in which I have tried to find a place to live.

I am nauseated now as I have to walk so far in really aggressive small crowds of people everywhere I walk - they seem to think it is some sort of holiday outing for them every time I step outside, and they ridicule me by walking with, near or around me - stride out aggressively from boutique and store entrances on teh side of the street - drive aggressively around me and threaten my life with big assault vehicles such as large SUVs, often black VEHICLES - and the larger men walk "parallel" across the street, many men also cross the street toward me every day, "jaywalking" at an angle, a slant and ending up within a couple feet of me.

Indoors, they threaten me every day and I have to act passively around the men, and some women (but few, relatively speaking in a percentage comparison). Some are nice, but will not act to protect me if anything happends. A man walked into me deliberately, it seemed, in the shelter two nights ago in the evening.

s always near me in men who "arrive" as soon as I go to any destination and crowd me, no matter where I am with few exceptions. This has taken place nationally, and I was warned about business takeovers through men not of our race and background in businesses and some employment or social service, humanitarian-focused agencies, where I have done "volunteer" work (in the sense of offering my "free" advice of how to build effective services) over the years of my life.

People have followed me around (many are top-level people all trying to "end"crimes, I was told, from various walks of American and International life in the world - for years and are using me and other people forced into the limelight of ridicule and surveillance-based media, with local gossip and hate crimes proliferating and giving "permission" to local criminals (many call "death squads") to commit gender and race-based crimes of various types of aggression, theft, and harassment.

I love you, and will write later. You really sound great, like your old self except a little worried, but back into something, I hope, that more resembles yours and our old ways and way of life in Northern Virginia. Make certain that you don't lose your privacy.

I am feeling better than I did since I was poisoned, I believe. I am eating well, and I hope to find a better place to live as soon as possible. I really can't bear the thought of being here another two weeks until I have more money, but this may be all I can manage since the country has become a "crime state" in every city and state in which I have tried to find a place to live.

I am nauseated now as I have to walk so far in really aggressive small crowds of people everywhere I walk - they seem to think it is some sort of holiday outing for them every time I step outside, and they ridicule me by walking with, near or around me - stride out aggressively from boutique and store entrances on teh side of the street - drive aggressively around me and threaten my life with big assault vehicles such as large SUVs, often black - and the larger men walk "parallel" across the street, many men also cross the street toward me every day, "jaywalking" at an angle, a slant and ending up within a couple feet of me.

Indoors, they threaten me every day and I have to act passively around the men, and some women (but few, relatively speaking in a percentage comparison). Some are nice, but will not act to protect me if anything happends. A man walked into me deliberately, it seemed, in the shelter two nights ago in the evening.

Submitted: April 15, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 15, 2015

A A A

A A A


 I want to mention that my race is called "white" in the United States and that I have no ethnicities that may be American, such as American "black" (I am not sure if the word is popular or not, still) or Indian or Native American. My father told me my race is Caucasian and Anglo - and that is what it is until someone proves him wrong. Why would anyone in the United States keep lying about who I am and what my race is? I believe it is because massive theft (including of my freedom as a person and my personal intellectual work) takes place every second of every day and night. My emails, mail and all communications as well as money and deposits, gifts are stolen before I ever get them, or receive them. This has been true for all my life, with very small pockets of time (usually during public "enslavement" or slavery attempts or torture of me) as the only time I hear from the "real" world that must exist somewhere.

Ms. Patricia Louise McGurk

patricialouisemcgurk@yahoo.com is my current email account and address

Some of my writing includes the following poems, comments and communications to a family member:

The Wind Must Blow You Away

Written by Patricia Louise McGurk

[April 22, 2015 in Seattle, Washington State at the local Starbucks on Second Avenue in the “Downtown Area” or “Belltown” [Note © (Copyright) 2015]

The wind must blow you away

You’re so small she said to me as a child

It gets better I promise you

One day your legs will be

big and strong like mine

 

All the women were big and strong

When I was a little girl

Leaning over me with big sandwiches in their hands

Sometimes even though it was rarely

There were no men in my world

Not really any adults at all

 

Do you want to feel my thighs?  She asked me

In the daylight

Will it make you stronger to feel them?

You are so small and tiny

One day you won’t be little any more

I promise you that it gets better

You are so small

 

When they are around

Women overtake you as a little girl

You feel they might not leave or abandon

You

They crowd you with energy that you could

Become addicted to

Take away your loneliness

And poof!

They are gone

Not even a memory any longer

as there is Still

Only You

Alone

 

They said I was singing in the wind

As a little girl in Alexandria, Virginia three years ago

And people heard me looking for myself

But singing in the wind alone

 

Over My Shoulder

Written by Patricia Louise McGurk

[April 22, 2015 in Seattle, Washington State at the local Starbucks on Second Avenue in the “Downtown Area” or “Belltown” [Note © (Copyright) 2015]

I was a little girl who looked back

My entire time as a child

I looked back over my shoulder

To see the people

And their lives

As I walked away from them

Alone.

For Years.

In the United States not really

America

But located in the hemisphere

Of the Americas

This writing is a constantly updated draft for a possible article I am writing, as well as a book about my life I may publish, as I am not certain if it is a good idea -- as well as a compilation of my notes and communications to my family. PLEASE PROTECT MY PRIVACY AND INCLUDE SOMEWHERE IN THE WASHINGTON POST OR OTHER PUBLICATIONS - I AM THE PERSON WHO SURVIVIED TORTURE IN PUBLIC IN WASHINGTON, D,C, AT MACPHERSON SQUARE, "FREEDOM" PLAZA, THE "SKATEBOARD PARK", FRANKLIN PARK NEAR THE IBM BUILDING AND OTHER LOCATIONS ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO === Ms. Patricia Louise McGurk (patricialouisemcgurk@yahoo.com is my email address although all my emails are stolen before they every arrive or ";land", I think in my email "inbox" (no matter which account I use), as well as any cell phones I purchase or am given are stolen.  I live in isolation, surrounded by predators in Seattle, Washington State with no money for two more weeks.  I need financial assistance that has no strings attached to it, or "obligations".

I felt nearly dead but I was alive as I remember sitting in a room labelled "CityU of Seattle Library, looking at rows of White Cubes with my books in them and I was not a vegetable in a com a like they said to each other. The people around me had contempt for me and I wondered again if this was real Genocide.

"Park her here", the woman said, "Park the 'Sufferer' (her term) here.God, why did I end up with this? What is it, a Vegetative or Vegetable? Who is Patricia L. McGurk, anyway?"

In Washington, D.C. at the Martin Luther King Library, a man calling himself "the President" ordered, "Put its head here," and the person who worked for him leaned my head on the wall as I stood up (near a photo display of the Civil Rights Movement that I tried to explain to him may have been mine or that I had supported the work to end Segregation in the American South for his race, but he refused to listen to me and it was very hard to speak.

I was near the free computers the 15-minute express emails on computers I believe I had given to the library I had personally built not far from the MacPherson Square-Franklin Park-Skateboard Park or "Freedom Plaza" "torture area". It normally was called the Metro Center stop across the street from the large Catholic Charities stone building I had paid for and built as a child, connected to the Church I thought I owned but never did own anythiing in the United States. No matter if I paid for it, designed the architecture and subsequently built the institution such as the American Publi Libraries - they stole everything and every ounce or particle of credit for the work involved.

"We knew we had a Live Victim, and we proceeded reagrdless or anyway", someone stated perhaps to me in a hearing, I am not certain as I am a victim of horrib le, brutal assaults and murders since that time. It may have been an international conference in Geneva or Vienna, Austria - I am not certain as I was kidnapped as well and brought back to the United States, I believe, to be murdered, stolen from further and tortured publicly in the nation's Capitol area as well as in other states (although Washington, D.C. is a territory, it remains the real capital of the Nationb, the United States of America.

What they do in homeless shelters if put all your things or possessions in cubes or big plastic bags, or they make you do it yourself. They may make you sit in a cube "on display", a bubble in a public park or with actual gas, which reminds me of the "Euthanasia Bubble" from my childhood - a public murder in the hospital I believe I owned or own - it may have been the Georgetown Hospital in Washington DC.

 

A Poem - he or she said this

March 20, 2015 Notes by Patricia Louise McGurk

he or she said this (not he/she)

We were children.  I’m not sure or certain who I am.  (Someone’s brother or sister said To this day I am not certain.)

I used to identify my father by touch  as a child

By the feel  of his strong chest

And the smell of his face as I reached up to hug him

Dearest Ada, What good news it is to read how well you are, and how much better your life is since you made such a good decision for yourself to rent a room in a more independent and suitable environment (for you as a single, older intellectual and person) than Shannon's family house with so much stress of a new baby and all (especially with the stress the nation is facing and how we are all impacted by the horrors unaddressed by the leaders of the United States. Horrors in some of our personal lives that never gets mentioned until it all adds up to public, monstrous crimes such as I suffered.....and perhaps, you, as well. What a good idea to wear sunglasses. They didn't want me to wear sunglasses as a child as they felt it would weaken my vision, but I think it is a good idea for now. Less clarity and more privacy promotes something more like the natural state I had in northern Virginia where I had peace of mind (in spite of the atrocity crimes that never ended but were less aggressive while I worked on my writing and childhood conflicts I wanted to resolve as an older adult. The sunlight can be very bright and cause stress to my eyes as someone trying to get over blindness that they thought I would have for life (do you remember? I was thinking about how you added my name for congregation prayers at the National Cathedral and how my eyes improved within one week of their praying for me. Do you remember? -- but if people are aggressive on the sidewalk one needs as much visual clarity as possible to stay alive to avoid their brutal attempts to knock me down as I try to walk with my walker. I love you, too. I am better and making decisions that will empower me to make the right decision about where to live. Your Daughter, Patricia Louise McGurk Dear Ada, You sound great. Thanks for the email with the excellent suggestions - I do need to rest as the energy here is weird - always with the concealed violence and predatory men around me. It never ends and the racial part is always near me in men who "arrive" as soon as I go to any destination and crowd me, no matter where I am with few exceptions. This has taken place nationally, and I was warned about business takeovers through men not of our race and background in businesses and some employment or social service, humanitarian-focused agencies, where I have done "volunteer" work (in the sense of offering my "free" advice of how to build effective services) over the years of my life. People have followed me around (many are top-level people all trying to "end"crimes, I was told, from various walks of American and International life in the world - for years and are using me and other people forced into the limelight of ridicule and surveillance-based media, with local gossip and hate crimes proliferating and giving "permission" to local criminals (many call "death squads") to commit gender and race-based crimes of various types of aggression, theft, and harassment. I love you, and will write later. You really sound great, like your old self except a little worried, but back into something, I hope, that more resembles yours and our old ways and way of life in Northern Virginia. Make certain that you don't lose your privacy. I am feeling better than I did since I was poisoned, I believe. I am eating well, and I hope to find a better place to live as soon as possible. I really can't bear the thought of being here another two weeks until I have more money, but this may be all I can manage since the country has become a "crime state" in every city and state in which I have tried to find a place to live. I am nauseated now as I have to walk so far in really aggressive small crowds of people everywhere I walk - they seem to think it is some sort of holiday outing for them every time I step outside, and they ridicule me by walking with, near or around me - stride out aggressively from boutique and store entrances on teh side of the street - drive aggressively around me and threaten my life with big assault vehicles such as large SUVs, often black VEHICLES - and the larger men walk "parallel" across the street, many men also cross the street toward me every day, "jaywalking" at an angle, a slant and ending up within a couple feet of me. Indoors, they threaten me every day and I have to act passively around the men, and some women (but few, relatively speaking in a percentage comparison). Some are nice, but will not act to protect me if anything happends. A man walked into me deliberately, it seemed, in the shelter two nights ago in the evening. s always near me in men who "arrive" as soon as I go to any destination and crowd me, no matter where I am with few exceptions. This has taken place nationally, and I was warned about business takeovers through men not of our race and background in businesses and some employment or social service, humanitarian-focused agencies, where I have done "volunteer" work (in the sense of offering my "free" advice of how to build effective services) over the years of my life. People have followed me around (many are top-level people all trying to "end"crimes, I was told, from various walks of American and International life in the world - for years and are using me and other people forced into the limelight of ridicule and surveillance-based media, with local gossip and hate crimes proliferating and giving "permission" to local criminals (many call "death squads") to commit gender and race-based crimes of various types of aggression, theft, and harassment. I love you, and will write later. You really sound great, like your old self except a little worried, but back into something, I hope, that more resembles yours and our old ways and way of life in Northern Virginia. Make certain that you don't lose your privacy. I am feeling better than I did since I was poisoned, I believe. I am eating well, and I hope to find a better place to live as soon as possible. I really can't bear the thought of being here another two weeks until I have more money, but this may be all I can manage since the country has become a "crime state" in every city and state in which I have tried to find a place to live. I am nauseated now as I have to walk so far in really aggressive small crowds of people everywhere I walk - they seem to think it is some sort of holiday outing for them every time I step outside, and they ridicule me by walking with, near or around me - stride out aggressively from boutique and store entrances on teh side of the street - drive aggressively around me and threaten my life with big assault vehicles such as large SUVs, often black - and the larger men walk "parallel" across the street, many men also cross the street toward me every day, "jaywalking" at an angle, a slant and ending up within a couple feet of me. Indoors, they threaten me every day and I have to act passively around the men, and some women (but few, relatively speaking in a percentage comparison). Some are nice, but will not act to protect me if anything happends. A man walked into me deliberately, it seemed, in the shelter two nights ago in the evening.

 

 
Dear Ada, You sound great. Thanks for the email with the excellent suggestions - I do need to rest as the energy here is weird - always with the concealed violence and predatory men around me. It never ends and the racial part is always near me in men who "arrive" as soon as I go to any destination and crowd me, no matter where I am with few exceptions. This has taken place nationally, and I was warned about business takeovers through men not of our race and background in businesses and some employment or social service, humanitarian-focused agencies, where I have done "volunteer" work (in the sense of offering my "free" advice of how to build effective services) over the years of my life.

People have followed me around (many are top-level people all trying to "end"crimes, I was told, from various walks of American and International life in the world - for years and are using me and other people forced into the limelight of ridicule and surveillance-based media, with local gossip and hate crimes proliferating and giving "permission" to local criminals (many call "death squads") to commit gender and race-based crimes of various types of aggression, theft, and harassment.

I love you, and will write later. You really sound great, like your old self except a little worried, but back into something, I hope, that more resembles yours and our old ways and way of life in Northern Virginia. Make certain that you don't lose your privacy.

Patricia Louise McGurk

To: Patricia McGurk
Sent: Thursday, April 16, 2015 7:54 AM
Subject: Re: Another Call - Update on Seattle, Washington State, the downtown area

 
Dear Ada, I am feeling better than I did since I was poisoned, I believe. I am eating well, and I hope to find a better place to live as soon as possible. I really can't bear the thought of being here another two weeks until I have more money, but this may be all I can manage since the country has become a "crime state" in every city and state in which I have tried to find a place to live.
 
I am nauseated now as I have to walk so far in really aggressive small crowds of people everywhere I walk - they seem to think it is some sort of holiday outing for them every time I step outside, and they ridicule me by walking with, near or around me - stride out aggressively from boutique and store entrances on teh side of the street - drive aggressively around me and threaten my life with big assault vehicles such as large SUVs, often black - and the larger men walk "parallel" across the street, many men also cross the street toward me every day, "jaywalking" at an angle, a slant and ending up within a couple feet of me.
 
Indoors, they threaten me every day and I have to act passively around the men, and some women (but few, relatively speaking in a percentage comparison). Some are nice, but will not act to protect me if anything happends. A man walked into me deliberately, it seemed, in the shelter two nights ago in the evening.
 
How is your new apartment or room? Do you like living there, so far?
 
I love you,
 
Patricia Louise McGurk

 


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