Why She's My Hero

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Alright, this is a little project that's dedicated to my mom. Whenever I can, I'm going to add to it. I'll be writing to her, a bunch of different things, and when I'm finished with the project, I'm going to give it to her.
She's the most important person in my life, and I'd be nothing without her. Some of the posts will be shorter, some longer. Some will be more emotional, some will be simple. Some will be happy and light, while others are sad or angry. Hopefully it will illustrate the struggles of a mother and her teenage daughter, but also that no matter what, we still manage to be best friends.
Hope you like! :)

Key:
Ella-Little sister, age 4
Gabe- Little bro, age 11
Andy- step dad
Shawn-Biological dad
Gran- Grandma
Pawpaw- Grandpa
Chuck- Grandpa on Andy's side
Grammy- Great-grandma
Mariah- best friend
Connor- best guy friend
Sammy- other best friend

Submitted: January 14, 2011

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Submitted: January 14, 2011

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Mama, you taught me to do the right things.
So, now you have to let your baby fly.
You've given me everything that I will need.
To make it through this crazy thing called life.

-Taylor Swift

For Mom, Gran, and Ella 

?

Friday, January 14th, 20111:00 pm

Dear Mom,

Obviously, we fight. Sometimes, a lot. We yell and scream and get angry and for those few moments, we absolutely can't stand eachother. Then, I realize I'm wrong, but I still try to get out of it.

Later, I hate myself for it.

And then we're best friends again.

I can't count the number of times we've sat and just cried together. I can't count our fights. I can't count how many times we've made eachother laugh to the point of rolling on the floor. I can't count how many times we've made eachother want to pull our hair out. In so many ways, we're exactly the same. In so many other ways, we're complete opposites. So when you're living with a person who can be your best friend one day and your worst enemy the next, what do you do?

Apparently, you just wing it. Every day is a different mood for both of us, different drama at school or work that we need to take out on, boyfriend/husband troubles that we need to complain about. Not all mother-daughter relationships are like us, though. A lot of the girls at school tolerate their moms, but it's no more than that.

It's unbelievable how completely different we are. I feel like I can tell you absolutely anything, and I know that even if you're mad at first, you'll support me the whole way. You're a true Mom, in the strongest sense of the word. I know that you would do anything and sacrifice everything for me, Gabe, and Ella. You're the strongest, bravest, most amazing, wonderful woman in the world, and you're my hero. I feel like we've grown up together and that our whole lives, we'll be so close that nothing can ever, ever tear us apart. The things you've done and said have effected me so much throughout my life... I can't imagine who I would be if it weren't for you. Because of you, I always realize what a complete idiot I am, and I make changes. Because of you, I forgive people easily, and I know how to put myself in another person's shoes and analyze a ton of different situations. Because of you, I know what to look forward to in the future when it comes to school, boys, friends, sex, career... and even though you've clued me in as much as possible, I've still never been more terrified in my entire life. You have no clue how much I constantly worry about my future. How am I going to arrange my schedule so I can fit my hobbies around my studying? Can I really keep a 4.0 GPA through highschool? Will I get into Vanderbuilt? Will forensics be what I expected? Will I regret the first time I have sex? Will I date all the wrong guys and blow off all the right ones? Will I be able to stay up on my feet after I move out? Will I be able to afford having kids? Every day, I think of these things, and they're a constant reminder of just how completely unprepared I am. But no matter what, I know you'll be there, cheering me on and kicking my butt if I get out of line.

Just as much, I know that you're terrified too. You're scared that I don't have good study habits and highschool will hit me like a punch in the face. You're scared I'll hang out with the wrong people and make choices that I could regret forever. You're scared that I'll do something extremely stupid. You're scared that I won't focus on the right things. You're scared that I won't take the right things seriously. You're scared that I'll make mistakes, that I'll have my heart broken, that I'll have regrets. You're scared that things won't be what I expect them to be.

To be completely honest, you're right to be scared. Obviously, not all of those things will happen (Hopefully as few as possible!) But some are bound to happen at some point. What it comes down to is highschool. It's the biggest four years of my life, it will decide the rest of my life. It will choose whether or not I'll be succesful, get a good job that I like, marry a guy who loves me, have kids and teach them well like you have with me.

But one thing you don't have to be scared of is that I won't come to you when I need help. Because I will. If (IF, not when, haha) I'm ever a complete retard and get drunk at a party, you're the one I'll be calling to come pick me up so I don't drive home. If I get the idea in my head that I'm in lvoe and want to have sex, you're the first person I'll be attacking with questions abotu what the hell to do. If my best friend gets into bad stuff that I don't want to follow but I don't want to leave her, you'll be the one I ask for advice. If I'm getting straight A's and I suddenly get a B, you're the one who will lsiten to me flip a lid about my GPA.

When I'm having trouble or I'm unsure, I will come to you. No matter what the situation, how mad you'll be, I trust that the number one, best option is to go to you.

No pressure(:

So, to sum it all up, we're both friggin scared to death of the next four years. And we're going to be with eachother through it, every step of the way, and with your help, I'm gonna kick highschool's ass.

Then there's always Ella. My Sophomore year of highschool, she'll be in Kindergarten. Hooray, a whole new generation of elementary school, all over again! Bet you never thought you'd have to do that again after Gabe(: I think it'll be good to have me and Gabe there to help prepare Ella for everything she's in for, and I'm soooo excited for the Big Sissy thing to kick in so I can give her advice and do her hair and we can gossip and stuff :) ITS GONNA BE AWESOME!!!!

Me, Gabe, and Ella are the luckiest kids in the world to have you as our Mom ? I honestly think that without you, we would be insane maniacs and we would be sent off to boot camp. Which we would end up burning down.

Your kids are special, just putting that out there(:

Alright, my hands are cramping, but I'm defffinitely gonna be writing a ton more later.

I love you sooo so so much!

Sincerely,

Payton


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