Heart Out

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 14, 2013

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Submitted: April 14, 2013




The snow is dull, wet and unfulfilling.  How could it be that I used to be fascinated with such a cold nuisance.  It’s funny how things change over time, how I did.  So many years, filled with success and happiness come to an end tonight, at the Garden.

Flashback:  12 years ago I flew into this city with big dreams and even bigger eyes mesmerized by New York’s light.  I stepped into my audition with Def Jam Records and my life changed forever. The audition was simple, one song.  I wasn’t nervous,  I wasn’t scared, I was just myself and I did what I do best, sing.  19 years old with a god given talent and an unstoppable ambition, I took the world by storm.  New York became more than a land for dreams, but home to my career.  Madison Square Garden, a building artists wish to perform at became my home.  82 sold out shows later, it still is.

Present:  Today is the last day of my last world tour.  13 Grammys couldn’t prepare me for this, the last show of my career.  I’m getting dressed now, but I don’t care how I look tonight.  Normally, I constantly worry about my image and obsess over every detail.  Not tonight, too much on my mind.  

Flashback:  three years ago it began, my era’s ending.  Casey Lepree came out with his debut album and very “original” music approach.  He copied everything I did, he just had better connections and covered it up with said humanitarian work.  Basically the devil in skinny jeans, he slowly took my reign.  Casey didn’t completely end me, he couldn’t if he tried.  I got married, started a family, started a new era in my life.  I gave it one last push and here I am, celebrating of the most successful albums of all time, at thirty one.  I’ll imagine crying, it’s been a good ride at the top.  Struggles?  I never let the media pick me apart.  Never got involved in the drug nonsense, or the lashing out at others.  Song after song, it’s just been me being me.

The crowd is chanting my name as I watch from underneath the stage.  The lights flash as the floor opens and I slowly rise into the Garden.  Tears fight there ways out, but I hold them in.  Adrenaline takes over and I take the mic from center stage and move it to my quivering mouth. With a deep breath I hold my head high and release my emotions,  while doing what I do best, sing.


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