(I wanna be from somewhere maybe-kinda-sortof-notreally)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Maybe if I don't tell you you'll read it...

Submitted: August 24, 2013

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Submitted: August 24, 2013

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Bring out the feeling

 The emotion,

Bring out the sun!

 The Moon

The stars

Bring out the feeling you get when you win!

 Bring out the victory

Bring out the life

The love

Bring out the hurt and the anger

The ferocity

Bring out the words

The phrases

The sentences

The essays and books and novels

The characters!

Bring out the effort

The right

The wrong

Bring out the truth

Bring out what you want to say

But you can’t say

Cause its wrong

And immoral

And not holy

And it isn’t Christian

It doesn’t fit with God

Or Jesus

Or whoever the hell they are this week

Or month

Or year

And it’s offending

We were created, they say

We don’t have a right to do anything but worship

Them before us

You not me

No

Not ever

I am me

I live for me

Not you

Not them

Not God

Or Jesus

Or whoever it is this month

Or week

Or year

I don’t care anymore

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna see the world the way you do

I wanna see it the way it already looks

I wanna see the clouds and the stars

Like they’re more than a creation

I wanna see the life

Not the death

Not the sacrifice

Or the hardships

I wanna be ignorant

I wanna be wrong

I wanna be right

I wanna say yes

No

Maybe

Next week, I don’t have time

Today? I can’t

I don’t wanna go

I wanna be lifeless

Dead

Unburdened

I don’t wanna be here

I wanna be gone

Away

Gone

Really gone

I wanna see the light beyond the clouds

I wanna see the flowers in the sun

The grasses swaying

And swaying

And swaying

And the way it smells so sweet

And bitter

And pretty

And so full of life

Like it used to be

Without God

Or Jesus

Or whoever the hell it is this week

Or month

Or year

Because I wanna be free

I wanna soar

I wanna be the air

And the water

I wanna be real

I wanna be seen

I wanna be big

I wanna be small

I wanna look up and down and all around because I can

And will

And have

And always will have

And I can see the flowers and the sun

And the animals

And the birds

And it’s so beautiful

And apparently wrong

Because it doesn’t fit

Because it’s not allowed

Because I have sinned

Because I am some god-awful non-believer

Because I don’t look for guidance from ghost in the sky and then say they don’t exist

But I do

I exist

I’m real

So, I believe in something else

Me

‘Cause I’m real

Alive

I can still live and achieve

And taste victory

And be angry

And hurt

And happy

And sad

And wrong and right and be in between

I wanna be a maybe

Or a sortof

Or a kinda-maybe-sortof

Or whatever the hell it is this week

Or month

Or year

Because I can

Because my expectations are low

And high

And nonexistent

And real

Not fake

Or damaged

I’m real because I can be

Not because I was born this way

Or some shit like that

(that’s from somewhere maybe)

I wanna be forgotten

And remembered

And thought of

I wanna teach

And be taught

I wanna learn

I wanna tell you what I’ve heard

I wanna tell you what I’ve been

What I’m gonna be next week

Or month

Or year

But I cant

‘cause it’s wrong

Because it’s immoral

Because I cant be you

Or him

Or her

Or the other person

I cant be the stars

Or the moon

Because I gotta be me

I don’t wanna be me

I wanna be a freshman

And a sophomore

And a junior

And a senior

All at once

I just….

Just.

That.

Is.

It.

I Just.

I Just wanna be this

Or that

Or her

Or him

Or me

Or she

Or we

I, Just….

With all the possibilities. 


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