I Lost My Faith

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just the way I felt.

He said he will always be there for me
Through thick and thin
But as time passed by, his words turned in to ashes
The ashes that were blown away by the soft wind
Angel took his soul and said he was needed in heaven
My heart broke instantly, I struggled to breathe
The thought of never seeing him again killed me inside
He left me in this world all alone
It felt like someone just ripped my heart out
All I have left of him was the memories
The memories that started to disappear slowly
I started to forget who I really was
What was the purpose of my life?
I felt lost and abandoned.
As I grew up I never understood why he left
I blamed my self because I thought it was my fault
As if I made him leave,
I hated him for leaving
I cried every night hoping that he would come back
But at the end I lost the hope
My heart never healed the day he left
It seemed like I had a permanent hole
The hole which my blood has leaked out of
And left my heart empty forever
Years went by and I still haven’t forgotten him
Turned eighteen and still haven’t realised why he left
I went to visit his grave and couldn’t help bursting in to tears
Suddenly it felt cold, my body started shaking, and I felt cold hands around me
Nine years without him felt like getting shot in your heart over and over again
I felt like I have disappointed him in every step I took, I lost the hope in life,
I closed every door that tried to help me
I felt depressed and upset every single day
My life didn’t seem to matter anymore
Until one day when I saw him in my dreams
He asked me if I still remembered who he was
And I answered of course, how can I forget?
He said you have forgotten what I said to you
And you have lost faith in your life so therefore, you have forgotten who I am
I answered back and said I’m not who I used to be,
My life has changed from bad to worse
My ambitions were crushed by depression
He answered back and said look inside your heart
And remember who you are
You are more than who you are now
He started to disappear slowly
I tried to grab on to him but it seemed like as if I was just catching air
I begged him not to leave me, and said that I can’t live without him
But he looked at me and said I would never leave you
Whenever you need me, just take a closer look in your heart and you will find me
I tried to figure out what was happening
That’s when I realised that through out those nine years, I thought he was gone
He never left me, he lived inside me
And that’s when my heart felt whole again
I got my faith back on track
Rest in Peace


Submitted: February 11, 2011

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Comments

Deaks

I like it, plenty of emotion, but not just a raw outpouring of emotion. Good stuff.

Fri, February 11th, 2011 6:41am

Author
Reply

Thank you =)

Thu, February 10th, 2011 11:12pm

Obe

I reallly like this :) It's beautifully written and I can imagine how it feels. Amazing :) Nearly had me crying! :L

- Obe x

Fri, February 11th, 2011 11:50am

Author
Reply

Awwww thank you =)
I appreciate it a lot

Fri, February 11th, 2011 6:06am

KillTheDeserters

Very good! I've had... similar experiences... but with a different outcome. But it rings true and is very heartfelt, beautiful :)

Mon, February 14th, 2011 11:26am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much =)

Tue, February 15th, 2011 6:35am

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