Quarrelsome masturbator

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Manus is a quarrelsome masturbator. This is his small adventure.

Manus was a curly lad with an intelligent face. He liked to stick his pair of compasses in my thigh, and did so often. We were classmates and sat next to each other.

Manus was better than me at everything. He was smarter and more handsome. Compared to him I was a freak. I had long hair and a fleshless shape. To other people, I suggestively resembled a regular heroin user. Instead of studying I occupied myself with philosophy and girls.

Manus always scorned my partners. He considered them scum from the utmost bottom of the society – an area he wanted to have nothing to do with.

I specialised in illiterate ones. Usually, they were fat and wore training trousers and a T-shirt that covered half of their bellies only. They, as well as I, took drugs and used every opportunity to get bladdered to the full which usually ended in a short term coma.

Manus went to college, I went to the funny farm. Manus flew to study in America for a year, I hallucinated, wearing a straitjacket and getting an electro shock here and there, about world peace and factual utopia.

Manus never thought a great deal of me. He considered me a notorious flaneur. When we met after a long time, he told me:

"M?rka, if you won't start working, you'll come to no good."

To show me how serious he was, he jabbed at my stomach for several times. I didn't die only because doctors saved my life. The police didn't arrest Manus. He wasn't an inadaptable citizen like me.

I had to work in a hospital to pay for my treatment. I didn't dispose of enough financial means to pay in cash and didn't want to do it on credit. They sent me to morgue to wash corpses.

It was so depressing there that I would go to the detachment of long-term sick to relax. This is where they kept the hopeless cases. Young ones or old ones, nothing really mattered. Kitschy music played there. The patients were apathetic and thirsty. They were also hungry and suffered the lack of interest of the staff who didn't consider them people, but things that just approximately resembled ones.

I liked an ugly nurse there. I tried to hit on her but she was squeamish of me.

I spent three months in the Saint Dingus Hospital. Manus sent me a box of chocolates there. There was a short letter attached to it:

'Now I like what you’re doing, Peter. You are useful to the society. Treasure the fact that you can wash the deceased. In this world, there are people who would murder for such a job.'

The messenger tear-gassed me and put on a knuckleduster with the intent of thrashing me so that he could replace me in my position.

He broke some of my ribs and razed my face but other than that, I was alright. I got a gypsum corselet, someone washed away my blood and called the police. I was said to be a potential criminal.

"He's so poor that he would be willing and able to steal a loaf of bread just because he’s hungry."

Of course, I didn't wait for the police to arrive and I ran away.

The situation was dramatic. I disengaged from holds of two beefy nurses and ran towards the nearest window. To break free, I jumped down. I was lucky. A couple of yards under me, there was a couple copulating. In fact, it was a brutal rapist and his victim. He covered her mouth with his hand so that she wouldn't yell.

I fell directly on them. The aggressor got angry because of my intrusion. He quit, pulled his penis out of the woman, took my boxers down and banged me with no mercy. Thus, he caused me to end up in the preliminary detention cell.

I was sentenced to two years. However, the judge made me an offer:

"Mr. Peter M?rka, if you want, you can commit suicide by hanging instead. It would make the Minister of Finance very happy."

"How much time do I have to think it over?" I asked.

"One minute", she replied.

"No. I don't want to be killed", I uttered after a minute passed.

"Coward!" someone shouted from somewhere behind me. It was Manus and he shot me with his legally-held .44 gun.


Submitted: May 10, 2013

© Copyright 2020 PetrMerka. All rights reserved.

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