Coal to Diamonds

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a column I submitted to my local paper in the hopes of landing a job there. The editor still hasn't read it!! grrr!

Submitted: June 10, 2013

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Submitted: June 10, 2013



Diamonds are a miracle of nature. They start out as ordinary, dirty coal. Then, after years, the coal becomes a diamond. Something treasured by the world. People are very similar to coal and diamonds. Sometimes, you have to go through something tough and dirty to come out on the other side as something strong and beautiful.

I've been through a lot the past three years. When I was sixteen, my parent's marriage started to fall apart. Dad was off doing his own thing. Mom was on antidepressants. I felt like I was drowning. I was forced to grow up and try to figure things out on my own. Needless to say, the decisions I made in the midst of the chaos of my family life were not always wise. I felt worthless, dirty, hopeless. I felt like coal.

When I was sixteen, I met my husband. He was two years older. He was tall, dark and handsome. It was only a matter of time before I fell completely in love with him. We had been dating for a few weeks before we decided it would be a good idea to have a baby. So, we stopped being careful and wham! I was pregnant. We got married on June 20, 2011. It was the happiest day of my life.

I had a very hard time during my pregnancy. I kept gaining more and more weight and my self image and confidence took a downward spiral. I was clinically depressed. I pushed everyone away, including my husband. I remember spending every single night screaming at each other. Our marriage was disintegrating before my very eyes and there was nothing I could do about it.

Our little boy was born on the day before my 18th birthday. Because I was so unhealthy during my pregnancy, I ended up having preeclampsia. I was induced on the 11th of January and spent thirteen hours in labor. Christopher arrived at 7:21 am on January 12, 2012. I was elated. Finally, I had something to live for. I had someone who would love me no matter what. Finally, I had something to keep my struggling marriage together.

Unfortunately, after I had Chris, I had postpartum depression. I felt empty. I continued to push my family and friends away until all I had was Chris. My husband would come home at night and the house was filled with a quiet, writhing tension. Months passed. My husband and I split up. And once again I felt like coal. Dirty, unwanted and ugly.

I've had to do a lot of soul searching since I split up with my husband. I had to find myself. I had to stop whining and crying and see that there is good in my situation. I am no longer a doormat. I am no longer insecure about the way I look. I'm on my way to becoming a genuine diamond.

What is my point here? I guess I'm trying to say that no matter what you're going through, there is always good on the other side. Sometimes, you have to feel like coal, because that's the only way you will come out on the other side shining like a diamond.  

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