Poem by: Please
love, sadness, illness, acrostic
Submitted: November 19, 2011
So why am I
© Copyright 2016 Please. All rights reserved.
This is sooooooo amazing!!!
Thanks sis but i know that you lied :)
This is beautiful.
Thank you, i wasnt sure... im glad you like it :)
Nice... See you can write poems!!!
lol thank you! i was hoping that wasnt to tacky doing an acrostic, i wasn't even planning on it but by the time i got to the second line also starting with "l" i knew the poem had a different idea for how it wanted to be written.... anyways have a good day and thank you :)
They tend to be a little tricky at times in my recent poem "Why I like Aluminum Baseball Bats?" I had the 'ting' 'scrap' and 'thump' in mind but had a rough time shorting the 'extend' and how to make a little sense from 'bleed'. So these things are never that easy. I sometimes try to make it like a game and the challange is what keeps me motivated in making my lines work.
Sometimes what we do dont work... right now I'm not happy with my new attempt "Oh, Christmas Tree" I wanted to try to build up the story while making it short for the general Booksie readers. anyway, I'm really thinking of changing the first two chapters... besides being very IMAGINATIVE I'm also extreamly CRITICAL on my own work, it's either really good or bust...
lol true that! i cant wait to read it though, so please keep me posted!
Um, still what? Just kidd'n. Thanks for grabbing my attention on this one, as it was quite beautiful. Oh, and you can alert me anytime, for reads so short.
"Those who can't read, wriite"
Thank you, i will... i never know if they are going to end up short or not, but i need to keep myself from getting bored so they are usually short lol :)
I'm a little lost. The bold letters down the side spell ILLNESS, but the poem, in my opinion, does not reflect an illness. It's more about loosing a love. With my poems like this the spelled word is connected (described) throughout the piece. It is a good piece, but I'm just feeling the connection. Just my opinion, take it or leave it.
Writing is life so keep writing!
Thank you for that... i guess i didn't explain it very well, what i was going for was because i didn't feel how i expected to feel i felt like maybe i was "ill"... i will try to make more sence and thank you for your comment! :)
I liked it. It shows you are using your imagination.
Thank you, im glad you liked it! Thank you for reading my stuff and commenting! :)
I believe that enlightenment usualy does cause some nervousness.
You got this word to become a sentence.
Thank you! it was a fun one... it kindof wrote itself.... thank you again :)
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