A Blog Entry

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A blog I wrote about my deceased aunt.

Submitted: July 29, 2011

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Submitted: July 29, 2011

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I just had a vivid flashback of a pretty sad, painful time in my life that I thought I’d share.

Five years ago, my aunt was diagnosed with brain cancer and was told she had a limited amount of time on this earth. Prior to this, my aunt was a survivor of ovarion cancer, but she relapsed. I was really close with my aunt throughout my childhood as she lived with me. Since I was so young when she passed on, I don’t have strong memories of her but I do remember some of the times we shared together. I used to love watching “Murder, She Wrote” and “Coronation Street” with her. She was a great person and did her best to teach me right from wrong.

During the time that she grew sicker and sicker, as a young, confused child I would question, “If God really cares about us, then why does he hurt the ones we love?”. A question that I still believe no one can genuinely answer with accuracy. I remember how much it hurt me to watch her suffer. However, no matter how much pain she was enduring she still smiled every once in a while. Which leads me to wonder, aside from the obvious physical pain she was going through, how much emotional pain did she experience knowing that she wouldn’t be alive for much longer? What kind of torture does that cause mentally? I, personally, would not be able to smile or be optimistic in any sense if I were placed in such a difficult situation. Talk about strength at its finest.

She went back and forth from our house to the hospital so often. I used to ask my mom, “Will Auntie survive, mommy?” All my mom could tell me was to hope and pray for the best. Evidently, I couldn’t understand the seriousness of the situation to the full extent, and was too young, too oblivious to all of the pain and suffering in the world. I had never experienced the death of someone so close to me before, and I didn’t know how to deal with it properly. I was so upset with God. Upset that he would take someone who meant so much to me, away from me.

The night she passed, the hospital called to inform my mom that she wasn’t doing well. My mom and my other aunt and uncle drove to the hospital while me and my sister went to stay with our cousins. When they came back, my mom walked into the room we were all in and said three words that I’ll never forget, “She passed away.” I just broke down in tears, engulfed in the pain and anger that stemmed from within. This was the first time I’ve ever felt such pain, and it hurt like hell knowing that someone I was used to seeing everyday when I came home from school and woke up to in the morning wouldn’t be there anymore.

Five years later, I still think about her sometimes and what life would be like should she have survived. She was a wonderful, strong woman and I was blessed to have her in my life for as long as I did. I hope I’m making her proud, and I know she’s happy and at peace. She deserves to be remembered as the phenomenal person she was, and that’s why I’m dedicating this blog to her. Hopefully one day I’ll have the privilege of meeting with her again.

It sucks that life is like that. Someone who’s so innocent and so great can be taken from your life at any moment for no reason at all, knowing you’ll probably never see them again. That’s why I’m going to try my best to show my love and appreciation to those most valuable to me while I still can. My family is my number one support system and I am forever indebted to them for all they have done for me. I just wish I could properly express how happy I am to have them in my life.

Sidenote - It’s good to blog thoughts that inhabit your mind so that your emotions don’t get bottled up inside of you. Writing this blog definitely did me some justice.

 
 


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