Small Towns

Reads: 443  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 32

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is for PrinceEdward's contest so wish me luck!

Please sit down and enjoy my story

Of a girl her guitar and dreams

Playing her guitar and singing

Was everything all she'd enjoy

 

Wishing and hoping for something or someone

To give her a chance

Hoping and dreaming of action

Someone to give her a passing glance

Writing songs and singing them to her wall

Secretly writing them in her diary

Till that call

 

That changed her life forever

Time to enjoy the scenery

She had made it big time

No more little hoedowns

Or secret writing

She imbued people

Filled them with hope

All the fame and fortune

A little scary a little frightening

 

She'll get by

Asking questions

And singing songs in her head

The small town is in the rearview mirror

So many things to find

So many books unread

Goodbye small town

That's forever said

She'll always miss you

But look forward to the things ahead


Submitted: October 01, 2012

© Copyright 2022 PoeticFeelings. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

youngwriter

I find this theme a really interesting topic for a poem. Maybe a little work is needed to make it better but this is nicely written. :)) Keep it up.

Mon, October 1st, 2012 4:18am

Author
Reply

It was for a contest where he gave me a topic to write about. All I write is poems so It was kinda hard.

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:27am

OverTheVintageRainbows x

Very well written. I love the rhymes a the ending was fab!!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 4:21am

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:25am

Leonel Lawliet

It's about hitting the big time. It's cute.

Mon, October 1st, 2012 4:23am

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:24am

Mikey CD

i liked it. it could use a little more rhymes, but overall, a nice poem. =D

Mon, October 1st, 2012 9:45am

Author
Reply

Yeah I got that! It was kinda hard and tell a story at the same time! But I'll work on it next time. Thanks for your opinion.

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:20am

Shekhar Srivastava

I really liked it..That was truly awesome..

Mon, October 1st, 2012 10:10am

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:17am

Aleauea

I'm glad you asked me to read this! I really, really enjoyed it! You just seem to have a knack for poetry that few people do, and that is that you have the ability to lure people in with your words and then keep them there. Utterly astounding. Good luck with all of your other poems!

~Oh, and Frost Bound has been updated, just incase you weren't aware! And, I have re-edited {I know, again} all of the chapters. Mainly Marleen's "Before"

~Forever, Aleauea

Mon, October 1st, 2012 12:14pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! I'll read Frost Bound I have just been so busy I haven't had time!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:14am

Aleauea

Oh, and good luck in the contest! I think you deserve to win it! {just had to put that out there, incase it wasn't clear enough!}

~Forever, Aleauea

Mon, October 1st, 2012 12:15pm

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:17am

Maddie Patrick

I agree with everything that Sabrina said. And I like it because it is simple yet luring. I couldn't stop reading it. YOU MY FRIEND are crawling your way up the ladder and becoming one of the greats. I really like this and I wish you luck at the contest and hope my comment helps!!!!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 2:51pm

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:51am

Miss A

nice and sweet poem .. flowed very well ...
Good job and good luck for the competition :)

Mon, October 1st, 2012 3:48pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. I'll need all the help I can get!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 9:22am

JBrewer

I enjoyed it, thanks for inviting me to come read it. Very nice.

Mon, October 1st, 2012 3:58pm

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 9:22am

fresh spirits

my poetic dear I am glad I was able to read it and ya I voted :)

Mon, October 1st, 2012 6:28pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! And thanks for your support!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 12:54pm

ggluvj1

thanks for the request. I'm not much of a poem person but I loved yours. And if I say what I really want to say, I'll just be repeating what everyone else who's commented above has said. Good luck! ;)

Mon, October 1st, 2012 7:25pm

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Mon, October 1st, 2012 12:53pm

Archia

I really liked the story that was being told in this. It thought the rhymes were good, when they were there. I think it might work better if it was one clear structure, either rhyme or no rhyme. It made some parts seem a little out of place because there was the expectation of a rhyme which didn't come. But apart from that, I really enjoyed the story and how her dreams came true and she made it.

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 4:20am

Author
Reply

Thanks! Yeah It's really hard to tell a story and make it rhyme too! I put some off rhymes in there Ones that sorta rhyme! But yeah thanks for the critic. And I'll work on it next time!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 5:25am

Future Author

GOOD LUCK!!! I really like this! I know how how hard it is to write a poem just by using a picture and I thought you coneected the words to the picture really well! You will do Prince Edward proud! I also like the shapes of each stanza that the words create haha, they're cool looking... :D

~future author

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 5:21am

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 5:25am

PrinceEdward

wow...this poem, it's ...very stunning

words couldn't express how fascinating this is, you've really have done a great JOB...I have read all the comments even your responses and I agree to all of them...yes, the rhymes aren't much of an issue, what is important is the thought and the feeling you're expressing and you've really done it...

agree to future author, IM SO PROUD you've took part of the contest GOODLUCK!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 6:24am

Author
Reply

WOW! PrinceEdward Thanks so much! That was a wonderful comment. Thanks!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 5:26am

PrinceEdward

PS. if you have facebook, you could always like this page

www.facebook.com/booksieweeklywritingcontest2012

I'll be creating a question poll in which writing is deserving to win, i think you should know about it...

GOOD LUCK

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 6:31am

Author
Reply

Thanks for letting me know but sadly I don't have a facebook page. Don't have enough time for one. I'm always on booksie!! HAHA LOL

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 5:27am

Squeamish

Thanks for the invite =3 it's a very pretty poem, my favorite line is the part where she says the small town is in the rearview mirror, I think that's a great way to personify leaving something behind =) I'll definitely be checking out more of your stuff!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 1:11pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! And thanks again!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 2:29pm

Jasper Dutch

Thanks for inviting me to read it. As with the above commenter I agree, that line was perfect, and the lines following that. It captured her disposition very well, looking forward, but not forgetting the past. I'm not a fan of the introductory first lines though, maybe its a personal thing, but I feel like the poem could have done without a story introduction like that. Starting with 'playing her guitar and singing' for example, would have pulled me right into it much more, but thats just me. Good luck with the contest, its definatly a good contender!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 8:58pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! I will take your comment and use it in improving for my next poem!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 2:28pm

WinterFairy

Just a small town girl, livin in a loooonly world! She took the midnight trrraaaaain goinnn aaaaaanywheeerrrree! Haha sorry this poem reminds me of that song. The poem itself is very inspiring and shows how if you DONT STOP BELIEVING and you go with the JOURNEY, you will be able to conquer your dreams and be infinite :) well done, m'dear! This truley has the "poetic feeling" to it ;)

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 9:17pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! That's what I was going for! Thanks!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 2:27pm

ixTears

This is very moving and incredibly well written. Wonderful job, and although I am not quite used to reviewing poetry, this is absolutely beautiful. Since I do not write my own poetry often (because even I write poetry once in a while to let out hard to express feelings), it's a bit difficult for me to give any constructive criticism. All I can honestly say is well done and I'll be back to read more of your poetry. It's very moving and incredibly inspiring. I think I'm going to go and write another chapter of my novel soon because of this c: thank you very much for dropping a reading request my way.

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 11:42pm

Author
Reply

You are so welcome! And it makes me happy to know that my poem inspired someone. That is what I write poems to do. Because I don't put them on here to express my feelings. I do it so that hopefully people can fill better knowing that there is someone out there who is like them. Going through what they are too!!! Thanks a bunch! It means a lot!

Tue, October 2nd, 2012 4:45pm

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