Ready. (The thoughts of a woman with cancer.)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
I wrote this just this morning, so I didn't have time to give it to Rhys (Sorry Rhys.) Basically, I wrote this because thats all I can think about now after watching a dance on cancer, so I thought I would get it out some other way.

Submitted: April 25, 2008

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Submitted: April 25, 2008

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Why did they cry when they were told by the doctor? Am I that special to them, or was it just the shock. I think it was the shock. It's a weird feeling having this machine on me, its like the life is now having to be pushed into me. I don't need a machine, I can fight this without the help of a machine, or can I? They must of seen me struggle at some point. I can't remember most of it. But I'm going to keep on fighting, because the people who cried truly love me, and I love them just the same. For the people who made me cry with happiness, for those people who held my hand while I had my tests, for the person who I can call my daughter, I'm going to live through this. I remember when Alice came out that day, her beautiful eyes gleaming out of me, she was beautiful. This is like the bed I stayed in around that time, it brings back amazing memories. I can't leave her alone, she needs me to protect her and keep her safe. But the pain of this is so strong, just like the pain they're going through. I don't know why, but the pain gets worse when they start to cry, why? Why do my loved ones have to cry, I don't want to make them upset about something which I can't help. I feel like I need to help them, but how can I help? There is no cure, no hope for me, I can not just make a cure and hope my possibility of living is high. I need a drink. Nurse? She isn't around, I won't disturb her. I don't want to disturb anyone, its not fair on my loved ones to be going through this pain. My beautiful daughter, her eyes were beautiful, and now they are blood shot from the tears. I miss her gorgeous eyes, and I miss her beautiful smile. I blame the machine for the trouble this is causing, its just showing my weakness, it doesn't make anyone feel better about anything. I can feel its plug, I'm near. Just one tug, one tug will bring it back. The memories of my family, the eyes of my daughter and her perfect smile beaming up at me. Just one tug, and her beautiful eyes will be back..


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