Bo Sparks and Friends-not for faint of heart

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a real event that actually happened to me, if you've ever been thrown out of class for stupid shit i advise you to read this. Enjoy.

Submitted: February 09, 2009

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Submitted: February 09, 2009

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If someone asks, who are your role models what would you exactly tell them? Well for instance if someone asks someone who is a degenerate, convict, alcoholic, smoker of many things BUT cock, PROBALLY a chronic mastubator, (not true...eh...ok maybe)  then one might say: James Dean, Hunter S. Thompson and Hugh Hefner. But lets just pretend you dont know too much about that person and they seem perfectly fine in the head. Well then lets just pretend YOU said the following names. The person who asks you, probally an instructor, professor, teacher, bus driver...doubt it but hey? Who knows? Lets say teacher-who happens to look like Fred Savage from the WONDER YEARS but with longer hair in the back, yes a mullet, and some really crappy eye shadow that native americans wear...also called mud. SHE asks you this and you respond honestly. We live in america right? Well since you said that, your fucked. You get called into evaluation. Which is sitting across from this big ass black dude , who flat out tells you hes “seen some fucked up shit, no need to hide anything boy” some little skinny blonde lady that looks like she can take a cock anywhere you ask “This is a peaceful enviorment” well its so peaceful and nice but mike tyson kinda scares me. His name is actually ‘Mr. Bo Sparks’ thats his introduction, hes got a spide tattooed on his hand, and his had is bigger than a catchers mit. WELL bo, um...your peaceful tranquility is kinda shattered now that youve seen some fucked up shit, cause now i just feel the need to flat out lie to you to make you seem like you havent seen the wrath of me yet. But i m not even fucking sure why im in here? Actually when did this room even become apart of this school? Yes were in a school right now invision it. This ROOM is a 5x5 square, with wooden walls, the type that looks like some dude just nailed up nice looking two by fours in the walls threw some pictures of blimps and motivational posters with a cat with sunglasses saying “school is cool!” ...oh yah. Totally agree. Theres a tree in the corner. Fake. Cause its got halloween decorations on it and a new years 01! Hat on the top. Sickkkk. Bo asks, “boy, do you wanna kill yourself?” i look at him and look at Mrs. Caroline Jaspin. She told me to call her carol. And im like, “is this a room where i can speak my mind and say what ever i want?” they look at eachother as if im bout to come out with some breaking thing saying i do and that theyre here to help me, waiting on my next answer they say together “of course, speak your mind”. It was fucking freaky...like theyve been through this before. So i say “this is fucking nuts, why the fuck am i in here? The only time i actually thought about killing myself was the third time i got arrested and i had to sit infront of the judge for the third time in a month. Honest to god if there was a pen, paper clip, fuck it a tootsie roll for that matter i would of just slit my wrist, none of that pussy shit where you go across the street, id go all the way down”. Bo and Carol look at me. Theyre jaws hit the floor and im like “can i fucking go?” they say no again, collectively, here ill qoute it so it sounds better “no” and im still stuck there. Bo reaches into his pocket and i firs t thought he was going to whip out a gun and blow my head off. Did i mention he was black? Well he whips out a piece of paper and hes like, “boy, write your feelings down”. I drew a stick figure of a priest fucking a little boy. They really liked it. Lemme tell you. Ive never seen somethign black get red before. If i was on the streets, bo’s boy’s would probally leave me face down with my pockets hanging out. Theyre like “ok lets try something else.” I say “ok carol,but tell me why im sitting in front of you...help me help you, your obivously getting paid to bullshit to me, tell me why im getting the honor of humoring you.” They sat there looked at eachother and bo said “ one of your teachers said that you wanted to kill yourself....is that true?” i look at him and im like, “dude, seriously if i wanted to kill myself it would of been done way before this. Why the fuck would any of my teachers think that?” well...bo says “ you were asked about your role models, what did you say?” i rattled them off with no problem “james dean hunter s thompson and hugh hefner.” Carol asks “why?” i say “well CAROL, cause theyre all cool dudes who made a living doing what they loved.” Carol goes.”...ok, well you know james dean and hunter s thompson are dead?” i say “OH REALLY? MY GOD THEN I SHOULD DEFINATELY CHANGE MY ANSWER SO THAT I DONT FALL INTO A CATEGORY WHERE I SOMEHOW SEEM LIKE I WANNA KILL MYSELF CAUSE SOME PEOPLE I LIKED ARE DEAD, my bad CAROL.” She asks me to calm down. “fuck that, james dean..was an actor correct? (didnt let them answer) well he was doing tons of movies banging mad chicks, and he died, do you know how CAROL? (i didnt like carol, she could of taken any dick though) he died racing cars, something he LOVED to do. Shame shame he died yes, but he loved doing it. Hunter S. Thompson, he was a what CAROL? (didnt let her answer again) a writer, creator of GONZO literature. Some sick shit, (she asks for me to stop curing i ignore her) he did tons of fucking shit, tons, traveled everywhere and all his books are amazing drugged out stories. Fuck JAY GATSBY and his gay ass american dream take a look at Raul Duke and Dr. Gonzo in las vegas, who cant compare any good time to vegas, i know you carol have gone wild in vegas, probally on some tape you wish never got out into the internet...BUT! he loved writing (bo jumps in an is like, he commited susicde.) SO FUCKING WHAT!? If i said i digged heath ledger would you call me gay cause he was in broke back? This makes no sense, he commited suscide cuase that was the end of his epic saga. Read some of his books and he hints at it. Not every kid who thinks highly of some fucked up writer is fucked up in the head. You know what his last words were CAROL? Sera Sera? You know what that means? What will be what will be. Yah so fuck this conversation.” Bo and Carol look at me and then bo says, what about hefner. I answer “hes the fucking man. He gets ass all day. With hot chicks, jenna jameson, you know shes hot bo, you know it. Carol, eh fuck it.” They look at me and theyre like you need to take this test. I look at it and im like well sure bo gimme a pen. CAROL goes you were just in class arent you prepared for school? I look  at her and im like, well i was, and i was in class yes, dont you remember YOU PULLED ME OUT OF IT! Gimme a pen or im leaving. “you need a pencil for that” gimme a pencil...i take it and it tells you if your gonna go somewhere in life. Your career choice. Turns out im going to be an evacuation expert. HORAY if we ever find ourselves on a plane together and its going down ill know exactly what to do...fuck like, i look at them and im like ive been here for little under an hour. Let me go, im not killing myself. They let me go and as i leave i flip off carol saying “sera sera”.


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